blonde joke

md · Post by md » Mon Mar 29, 2004 1:19 pm

THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES..

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in
and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He
studies
the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble
these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice
cup of tea, and then....."

he sighed, "...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box".

loopy · Post by **loopy** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 11:32 am

Hmmm. Why am I so hungry right now? fart

SplitS · Post by **SplitS** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 7:59 am

a skeleton walks into a bar and tells the bartender:

"Give me a beer - and a mop"

HA!

Mach1 · Post by **Mach1** » Thu Apr 01, 2004 3:37 pm

A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

5x5 · Post by **5x5** » Wed Apr 07, 2004 5:26 pm

A termite walks into the bar and says "Where's the bar tender?"

lazionic · Post by **lazionic** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 6:42 pm

Two peanuts walk into a bar.... one was a salted.

hz2p · Post by **hz2p** » Fri Apr 30, 2004 6:35 am

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Mach1 · Post by **Mach1** » Fri Apr 30, 2004 8:08 am

The same horse walks into the same bar the next day with jumper cables hanging out of his mouth. The bar tender says, “Hey buddy, I don’t mind the long face, but don’t start anything.”

5x5 · Post by **5x5** » Fri Apr 30, 2004 9:51 am

A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender.

"Anything but a Canadian Club" replies the seal.

Yoyoma · Post by **Yoyoma** » Sun May 02, 2004 9:18 am

Focus people...Bonlde jokes here!!!

Yoyoma · Post by **Yoyoma** » Sun May 02, 2004 9:22 am

Also worth showing from the same website!!

5x5 · Post by **5x5** » Sun May 02, 2004 9:56 pm

This duck walks into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, buddy, your pants are down..."

oldtimer · Post by **oldtimer** » Mon May 03, 2004 10:42 pm

Young kid is at the airport with his dad.
"Dad, Is that a mail plane"
"No, son those are just the wheels hanging down."

Flyin' Hack · Post by **Flyin' Hack** » Sat May 08, 2004 2:55 pm

A guy walks into a bar.... OUCH!!

Ba-dum-ching!

I'm a love albatross · Mon May 10, 2004 9:24 pm

What dose american beer and two Canadians in a canoe have in common?

there both fu*king close to water

i know it's an oldie but a goodie

5x5 · Post by **5x5** » Mon May 10, 2004 9:35 pm

A black, a Rabbi, a Pollock, a blonde, a Russian, a priest, and a nun walk into the bar.

The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

lazionic · Post by **lazionic** » Thu May 13, 2004 5:23 pm

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch, he said. How much will you charge me?"

The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" The man responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her
money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. Yes," the blonde replied; "and I had paint left over, so I gave it
two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

lazionic · Post by **lazionic** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 6:01 pm

Why did the blonde crash her plane when landing?

"The runway was only 25ft long, but a mile wide"

roundenginesmakemyday · Sat Jun 12, 2004 5:01 am

5x5 wrote:A black, a Rabbi, a Pollock, a blonde, a Russian, a priest, and a nun walk into the bar.

The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

5x5 · Post by **5x5** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 5:49 pm

A man stomps into a bar, obviously angry. He growls at the bartender, "Gimme a beer", takes a slug, and shouts out, "All lawyers are assholes!"

A guy at the other end of the bar retorts, "You take that back!"

The angry man snarls, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The guy replies, "No, I'm an asshole!"