How to ensure you fail an AC interview

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CaptainPicard
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How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by CaptainPicard » Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:51 pm

With the new PML 2019 you may have seen the 90% acceptance and wondered, "How can I possibly fail this interview". It may seem like you're a shoe in and youll have no problem moving on from the regionals, but im here to give you the career ruinning tips that will help you get PFOed as quick as possible. So without further delay lets get a start in ending your career.

Lets start with preperation. First of all don't learn anything about the company, it's not important it's that simple. As for the documents they ask for print them on different colored cardboard and shuffle them up, they can't help but pay attetion to that. Ensure you exagerate you accomplishments on your resume, pad those hours and show them how you where a mentor even when you where a co-pilot doing no real traning whatsoever. Now the most important thing is how you dress, and if you're a captain making millions of dollars a year like me you have to show you have the sand to flash some cash. The most expensive shoes possible, the look doesnt matter just that they are pricey. The suit should be flashy, it should catch the eye along the line of Don Cherry. If your eyes dont bleed looking at it how will anyone else notice you? Accessorize, watches with faces as big as hockey pucks and gold jewellery around every square inch of exposed skin. For a real power play wear your captains hat to show you will settle for nothing less than direct entry 777 skipper. Now you look like a total moron and you're well on your way to not even being let into the building.

As for the day itself. Walk in confident like you own the place, puff your chest out and speak down to those low life office workers like the sky god you are. HR will love the fact you are putting them in their place and asserting your dominance. For good mesure make some offhanded comments about how AC isnt your be all end all and that you could easily have been a captain at Westjet by now. This will humble them. When they sit in the room with you take up a seat on the same side of the table as them, remember you already belong here. When the questions are asked become defensive, answer their question with questions if required until their initial inquiry is so convoluted they are confused and you hold the upper hand. If they ask you about your career you refuse, your resume and reputation should be all they need on that front. Ensure you stare them in the eyes, unblinking and unphased you should terrify their very soul at the thought of hiring you. Now at this point theyll probably cut the interview short and ask you to leave, press them for more questions but provide no answers, let them fill in the blanks with your bravado.

A quick pointer now on the psyc test.. if you haven't been tazed and wrestled out of the building like the entitled swine you are that is.... This test is not serious, be sarcastic, make some jokes no one will read it anyways.

Now that youve been escorted off the property by the local PD you think your job is well and done. But that would be a big mistake only a rookie would make, there is still a lot left to do. First post up on some forums asking why you didnt get accepted, then berate anyone that constructively criticizes you so you only get hate. Then convince yourself the regionnals are better anyways, its the only way you're avoiding a mental break down now so may as well post that online too.

Now for the years to come the work still continues. Become hard and crusty even at a young age and complain and give flak to everyone remotly associated with AC, no one desrve happiness but you. Take your frustration out on your FOs until HR is forced to take you off flying and put you on stress leave were youll find the best type to get checked out on for you.... the mahogany bomber.

I hope this helps the less delusionnal of you all become a ace pilot like me. If you have any questions, send me a message and I will only charge 5.99$ per response.
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shimmydampner
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by shimmydampner » Sun Nov 17, 2019 7:32 am

I suppose poor spelling, punctuation and grammar are fine though. :roll:
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digits_
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by digits_ » Sun Nov 17, 2019 7:50 am

I did all this at encore and still got hired.
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AirFrame
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by AirFrame » Sun Nov 17, 2019 12:43 pm

shimmydampner wrote:
Sun Nov 17, 2019 7:32 am
I suppose poor spelling, punctuation and grammar are fine though. :roll:
Well, you can't expect him to reveal all his secrets... He has to keep something in reserve. Oh, wait...
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by flyinhigh » Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:44 am

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Thats an awesome first post. Took me till the end to realize you weren't actually serious. :smt040
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by rigpiggy » Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:35 pm

Have you ever been angry enough that you wanted to beat somebody up?
Have you ever been angry enough that you had thought of killing someone?

I drove the 401 to the interview, i answered truthfully to both yes........
I dont work at air canada
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by dialdriver » Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:42 pm

"Have you ever heard voices?"
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by goldeneagle » Tue Nov 19, 2019 7:32 am

dialdriver wrote:
Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:42 pm
"Have you ever heard voices?"
I hear voices a lot. After I put on a headset and say 'clearance, abc', invariably I start to hear voices, and they go on and on telling me where I'm allowed to go and how I should get there.
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by EPR » Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:47 pm

digits_ wrote:
Sun Nov 17, 2019 7:50 am
I did all this at encore and still got hired.
:lol:
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CaptainKirk
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by CaptainKirk » Tue Nov 19, 2019 5:27 pm

Or you can ask me, I’ve bombed an AC interview already. It was supposed to be a 90% success rate. Right fellas? LOL...

In all seriousness, not the end of the world. You only loose if you don’t get back up again.
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ayseven
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by ayseven » Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:02 pm

Lose. L O S E

Loose. Different word.
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by Oxi » Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:51 pm

CaptainKirk wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 5:27 pm
Or you can ask me, I’ve bombed an AC interview already. It was supposed to be a 90% success rate. Right fellas? LOL...

In all seriousness, not the end of the world. You only loose if you don’t get back up again.
Yes this is the Captain I would want to fly my company's employees, family or friends out of YUL. In all seriousness making fun of yourself now?
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by Antique Pilot » Tue Nov 19, 2019 10:18 pm

I apologize for the thread drift but this is how I failed an interview at PWA in Edmonton in 1972:

At the time of my interview I had been moving around a bit and had recently gone to Watson Lake from Prince Rupert. I was interviewed by Capt Kees Fransbergen, Capt Miles, and a Mr. Jarvis from HR. Capt Fransbergen asks me: “So how do you go from Prince Rupert to Watson Lake? I says “I got in my car and drove up the Alaska Highway. How the hell else would I get there?” Capt Miles and Mr. Jarvis burst out laughing and Capt Fransbergen got red in the face. My interview was over shortly thereafter.

AP
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Eric Janson
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by Eric Janson » Sun Nov 24, 2019 4:29 pm

Don't forget to park your car on the pavement right outside the office entrance.

It's important to create the correct first impression! :wink: :wink:
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dialdriver
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by dialdriver » Sun Nov 24, 2019 7:25 pm

Doesn't hurt to ask the HR lady out for a date!
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by ant_321 » Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:18 am

dialdriver wrote:
Sun Nov 24, 2019 7:25 pm
Doesn't hurt to ask the HR lady out for a date!
I have a friend who did this. He got the job and is now married to her with kids :lol: ballsy move regardless.
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by Jumbo744 » Mon Nov 25, 2019 7:46 am

flyinhigh wrote:
Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:44 am
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Thats an awesome first post. Took me till the end to realize you weren't actually serious. :smt040
I think you're not too bright...
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by rookiepilot » Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:20 am

Forget to bring your framed, gold-embossed degree on parchment paper?
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by simplicity » Sun Dec 01, 2019 7:04 pm

CaptainPicard wrote:
Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:51 pm

A quick pointer now on the psyc test.. if you haven't been tazed and wrestled out of the building like the entitled swine you are that is.... This test is not serious, be sarcastic, make some jokes no one will read it anyways.

Sounds like someone who never got called for an interview, let alone PFOd.

Everyone knows the psyc test is before the interview. :rolleyes:
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Re: How to ensure you fail an AC interview

Post by mixturerich » Mon Dec 02, 2019 3:44 am

CaptainKirk wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 5:27 pm
Or you can ask me, I’ve bombed an AC interview already. It was supposed to be a 90% success rate. Right fellas? LOL...

In all seriousness, not the end of the world. You only loose if you don’t get back up again.
Your wording makes it sound like you thought you had a 90% chance.
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