Flying Stories

Zatopec · Post by **Zatopec** » Sun Feb 15, 2004 7:10 pm

Flying stories

In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed." "90 knots" Center replied. "Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same." "120 knots," Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout.'

There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty." "Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison." "Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause .... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.
-------------------------------------
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!" The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table.

The pilot asked, "What's that for?"

"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

More tower chatter: Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"

Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway while a MD80 landed The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"

Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."

"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

185_guy · Post by **185_guy** » Sun Feb 15, 2004 7:40 pm

For some really good bush flying stories, read "Bush and Arctic Pilot" by Al Williams.
Its full of great stuff, makes ya wish we were 'back in the old days'!!!

Driving Rain · Post by **Driving Rain** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 11:04 am

Back in 69 the Brampton Flying Club had just moved out to Victoria north of the city. The grass field turned into a quagmire each spring and to keep operations going they would move the flight training to YYZ and operate out of Sky Charters's louge.
One day we were shooting circuits and the tower had us land short on the south end of the field and we were dreading the almost 3 mile taxi to Sky Charter. We cleared the runway and started to taxi fast so fast that we became airbourne in ground effect. The ground controller spotting us gave us a blast ... AT THIS AIRPORT WE TAXI WITH OUR WHEELS ON THE GROUND.
Cheers Pete

wollypilot · Post by **wollypilot** » Sun May 02, 2004 11:57 pm

"the dreded seven engine approach" too funny.

Cheers, wp.

MurtsAir · Post by **MurtsAir** » Tue May 04, 2004 9:46 pm

I heard this one from a couple of people so it must be true

. an F-15 was escorting a B-52 when the F-15 pilot getting bored pulls up beside the b-52 snaps it inverted and then pulls up and rolls over the B-52 coming into formation on the other wing. F-15 pilots says "lets see you do that" The B-52 driver says "i got a better one try this" a long wait and the B-52 doesnt move. the F-15 pilot puzzeled after nothing happening asks "ya what are you going to do?" "I just shut down 3 engines try that!".

scubasteve · Post by **scubasteve** » Wed May 05, 2004 9:57 am

nothing like laughing at jokes and stories that most people wouldn't understand. I dont know of any funny stories about this but my neighbour back in Ontario was a harvard driver when the Arrow was being built and tested. he was up one day and saw it going zipping past him at a much higher altitude. I'd still love to see one of those fly.

oldtimer · Post by **oldtimer** » Wed May 05, 2004 5:19 pm

Actual true story. CAF with their almost brand new CF-18,s enroute to Whitehorse above and "in formation" almost with a CP Air 737. CF-18 guy brags about performance when 737 driver says "Watch. I can do something that you can't do". Minutes pass with almost no movement so 18 guy says "What did You Do?" 737 guy says "Oh. I got up and went to the bathroom and then rang the F/A and had her bring me a sandwich."

MurtsAir · Post by **MurtsAir** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:02 pm

Another good Book is "Fait is the Hunter" by Ernest Gann. Id highly recomend reading this, fantastic stories of him flying all over the world, when airlines were just staring out. things i can recall off the top of my head flying a DC-3 out of India to aid China in WW2 taking off heavy and almost destroying the Taj Mahal. Using his HF attenna dangling below the plane to gauge his height above the water going into Greenland. I swear i read it in like 3 days (during busy season) you wont want to put it down.

FSS · Post by **FSS** » Thu May 06, 2004 7:16 am

Back in '63 (olden days), a quiet Sunday afternoon at Brandon Aeradio, I got a call from Rivers RCAF tower.
Tower. "You got a red single engine up?"
Me. "Nope, nothing that I'm aware of, why?"
Tower. "He's buzzing the tower." "Here he comes again!" (loud background roar, then fading off). "Son-of-a-bitch!"
Me. "Did you get the ident?"
Tower. "No, couldn't see it, we were laying on the floor."

As it turned out later, it was a retired RCAF pilot, giving the lads a show.

It was a different time then, like the calm wind day, a RCAF Expediter and a Shilo Army Birddog took off on conversing runways, the Birddog going over top the Ex, won't repeat the radio conversion between @%$& Army and @%$& Airforce to each other, but you can guess.

Keep alert, watch for other aircraft.