ATC encounters

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taylor498
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by taylor498 »

Witnessed this one as a pilot, one of the funniest I've heard myself.
A busy first 15 minutes of "night" at a flight training airport...


Ground, GABC, on the apron looking for taxi instructions for circuits, information Echo.

GABC, Ground, The circuit is full, I can wait list you if you want, you'll be number one.

Ground, GABC Roger.

--- A pour soul is left to control both twr/gnd frequencies, clearly doing his best in a busy circuit (already full) ---

Ground, GABC, can I do my run-up?

GABC, Ground, roger, the apron is uncontrolled, run-up at your discretion...

--- (A bunch more calls are made to accommodate the busy circuit) 2 minutes later ---

Ground, GABC...

GABC, Ground, standby...

(pilot pauses 30 seconds, chirps in at first short break)

Ground, GABC, How much longer do you think it will be?!?

GABC, Sorry I'm not a fortune teller, I will CALL YOU when a space opens up!

---silence from the pilot then on, unfortunately I departed and missed the rest of the exchanges, if any :-D
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Raydar
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Raydar »

AAL checking in off ocean in YVR FIR enroute to KJFK...

Center any chance of more direct? My wife is planning on getting pregnant later today and i was hoping to be there for it.

We cut a tape and listen to it often.
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Big Pistons Forever
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Big Pistons Forever »

Back in the old one runway days the YVR guys really pushed the tin when they could. One day right in the middle of the friday evening rush I was cleared to position on 26 just after a 737 went by. Right behind him was a 747 on final. It was just getting dark so with all his lights on the 747 looked both huge and close. I quickly went to position and had to wait for the 737 to exit. Knowing that 747 has got to be getting close, I start bringing the power up. The off in cleared for takeoff was barely out of the controllers mouth and I was rolling. I guess the controller saw this because he added "guess you thought you were going to be squashed like a bug ehh" :lol:
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Old Dog Flying
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Old Dog Flying »

"Barney ...Barney...In the tower...what is the runway for this hour?"

"Oh little fella with wings on your jacket, it's runway 10 right...if you think you can hack it!"

The pilot instructor was John Hackett, deputy flight commander, "A" Flight, Moose Jaw...and it got me a brew after night flying finished
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young grasshopper
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by young grasshopper »

I took off in YZF a couple of days ago and as we rotated I saw a seagull which had been slaughtered on the runway from a previous departing A/C. Once we dealt with centre (I totally forgot about mentioning it to tower on departure), my FO put the #2 radio back to YZF tower and here goes the conversation...

FO: "Tower, looks like there's a dead seagull about 1/2 way down runway 09."
Tower: "OK, I'll let someone know and they'll have it picked up"
***Suddenly I have a brainwave***
Me: "Request you call YK-Inflight for pick-up." (They do our catering)
Tower: "Say again?"
Me: (Trying to contain my laughter) "Request you call YK-Inflight for pick-up."
Tower: "FAB 857, I'm sorry - we're quite busy...you're going to have to ask company to make that phone call sir."

It was quite busy with only one guy manning ground/tower frequencies...so I think he missed my humour...but on that note - hats off to the YZF guys and gal for the excellent job they do on a regular basis. Gonna try to stumble up there one of these times to meet everyone, but all those stairs are quite intimidating!
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by flyingdan »

CYKZ this morning talking to a helicopter

CYKZ:"[HELI], can I get you to land on 21"
HELI:"Winds are favouring 33 though"
CYKZ:"250 at 7, that's closer to 21"
HELI:"Still seems better if I take 33, but your choice"
CYKZ:"Take 21 please"
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IFRATC
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by IFRATC »

Years ago in YYC.... (This while CDN were still around flying 737's as ZIP call sign). An ACA heavy waiting to depart clearly getting annoyed with the line up wait. ZIP on short final. The gal in the tower clearly getting frustrated with ACA persistance.....
ACA...Tower we've been holding short for quite some time now, are we ever going to get off?
Tower(really pissed off)... "Sir I'll get you off as soon as I get my Zipper down!"
SILENCE

IFRATC
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Edo
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Edo »

From a really old thread on here:

quoting Thump:

Actually overheard this on YVR Terminal:

"Zip 450 through 12000 for fl280" (well don't remember #)
atc "roger..."

looooong pause (not busy)

atc " so, you in the hot pink today?"
......... (no answer)

someone else replies with a nice slow lisp (as feminine as a man could sound): "it's salmon"
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Freddy_Francis
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Freddy_Francis »

From a really old thread on here:

quoting Thump:

Actually overheard this on YVR Terminal:

"Zip 450 through 12000 for fl280" (well don't remember #)
atc "roger..."

looooong pause (not busy)

atc " so, you in the hot pink today?"
......... (no answer)

someone else replies with a nice slow lisp (as feminine as a man could sound): "it's salmon"
LOL! :prayer: So far that takes the first prize! :lol:
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Hoov
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Hoov »

Edo wrote:From a really old thread on here:

quoting Thump:

Actually overheard this on YVR Terminal:

"Zip 450 through 12000 for fl280" (well don't remember #)
atc "roger..."

looooong pause (not busy)

atc " so, you in the hot pink today?"
......... (no answer)

someone else replies with a nice slow lisp (as feminine as a man could sound): "it's salmon"
haha, thats a good one
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FSS002
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by FSS002 »

After departure GABC advises Radio he will be diverting west for a moment to check something.
30 seconds go by....

GABC- "we are turning on course, we had a bit of trouble getting the gear up but everything looks good now."

Radio- "Roger"

GABC- "I suppose its better not being able to get it up then the opposite!"

Not able to resist...

Radio- "Not Always!"
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GilletteNorth
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by GilletteNorth »

Two airlines that fly out of La Ronge, TransWest and Westwind. One day Westwind flight calls up for departure advisory:

WEW: Prince Albert radio, Westwind 702"

Radio quickly responds: "Transwest 702 La Ronge radio"
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Edo
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Edo »

A co-worker once told me this one:

Vancouver Tower to a Traffic Patrol Helicopter:

Twr: Helicopter FABC, Traffic is a Shorts 360, short Final Runway 26 and A Beaver turning final for the Water, cleared to land avitat ramp.

Helicopter: Roger I have the Shorts down low and the Beaver in sight.
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graVT NME
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by graVT NME »

A British Airways 757 and a USAF C-5 Galaxy were flying in the same aerospace.

The cocky C-5 pilot, in an attempt to belittle the airliner's crew, keyed his mike and in a macho voice said: "Speedbird 309, what's your gross?"

BA Captain replied: "A little under 200 000 pounds a year, whats yours?"
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Stevo226
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Stevo226 »

ATIS in Windsor:

wind ### @ ##.... etc.
inform ATC you have information Echo
Echo
Echo
....echo
............echo
.....................echo

In YXU:

A/C#1 - ABC 20 miles north inbound for landing
A/C#2 - DEF holding short Alpha ready for takeoff
Tower - ignoring #2 for interrupting: ABC fly heading 120 turn final from there
A/C#2 - Turn final from here, DEF

no reply from the tower, i assume they were either laughing or thinking of a career change
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ypamcvey
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by ypamcvey »

GilletteNorth wrote:Two airlines that fly out of La Ronge, TransWest and Westwind. One day Westwind flight calls up for departure advisory:

WEW: Prince Albert radio, Westwind 702"

Radio quickly responds: "Transwest 702 La Ronge radio"
Hahah that's great. They call us La Ronge radio quite a bit as well. It's nice being called "Prince Albert Tower" by some of the yankees that fly here though.
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grimey
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by grimey »

ypamcvey wrote: Hahah that's great. They call us La Ronge radio quite a bit as well. It's nice being called "Prince Albert Tower" by some of the yankees that fly here though.
I got called Thompson approach. I swear it didn't go to my head. :) Was kinda worried if he knew something about the upcoming traffic that I didn't, though. :wink:
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roger.roger
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by roger.roger »

A controller in montreal responed in Quebec french to Air France.

The response from Air France was "as long as your not going to speak french neither are we, english only please"
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Braun
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Braun »

roger.roger wrote:A controller in montreal responed in Quebec french to Air France.

The response from Air France was "as long as your not going to speak french neither are we, english only please"
English or French they still don't understand anything.
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hovergirl
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by hovergirl »

This happened at the FSS station where I work. We routinely check for landing gear of aircraft on final, and a co-worker was looking for the gear of a Rockwell Turbo Commander, a bird dog returning from a forest fire. They have very short nose gear, and since he was landing on the far end of the runway, even with binoculars, it was pretty hard to see.
After the guy landed, she said "I almost had to ask you to pull up, your gear was so short, I couldn't see it."
He replied "oh, I didn't even know you check for landing gear."
And from pilot of the tanker, still 10 miles out, "You're not the first woman to tell him his gear was too short."

We laughed about that for a while! :lol:
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