A busy day in CYYJ. Flight numbers aren't accurate

Unknown pilot accidentally transmits "sh**"
ATC "GDLB did you just say sh**?"
GDLB "Didn't say sh**, GDLB"
AC jazz "jazz 344, didn't say sh**"
United "united 180 didn't say sh**"
GGCW " didn't say sh** GGCW"
ATC "ok ok enough with the language!"

Can't really remember the exact conversation, but a center controller was telling an aircraft that they were just waiting for North Cariboo to get airborne...aircraft's response? "Huh...didn't know cariboo could fly!"

Thought it was kinda cute.

While doing a flight with a buddy of mine to build some PIC time in a C172, we were passing through a local airport that just finished an airshow as we were approaching the control zone. When I made my initial call asking for clearance through, the conversation went like this....:

Tower:C172 ABC, clear through the zone. Traffic at your 11 o'clock doing a low and over. 2 CF-18's.
Meanwhile I punch the throttle to get into the area for some pictures of the 2 F18's.
ABC: Tower, we have visual on CF-18 #1, I don't have visual on #2.
Tower: ABC, other traffic already at your 6 at 15 miles. No conflict.
ABC(noticeably upset at not being able to get some good pictures): ABC Roger, we just wanted to get some pictures of the 2 is all. Thanks!"

A moment passes by, and then:

Unknown: "To C172 ABCD, wondering if you are still taking pictures"
ABC: "No the 2 18's are long gone, barely got any."
CF-18: "No you don't understand, this is the 18 pilot. Give me 5 ill be along side your 3. Get your camera ready"
CF-18: "ABC, is that you squawking 1200?"
ABC: "Roger"
CF-18: "Heeeeeerre comes the show!"

After about 3 minutes of him showboating at slow airspeeds, he then pulls vertical and then inverted directly over us. then departs back to base.

Tower: "ABC, state your position"
ABC: "ABC currently over (fix)"
Tower: "hm... funny because I'm showing you are currently on cloud 9"

Still to this day, the flight was the best I have ever had the pleasure of flying.

teh1pilot wrote:While doing a flight with a buddy of mine to build some PIC time in a C172, we were passing through a local airport that just finished an airshow as we were approaching the control zone. When I made my initial call asking for clearance through, the conversation went like this....:

Tower:C172 ABC, clear through the zone. Traffic at your 11 o'clock doing a low and over. 2 CF-18's.
Meanwhile I punch the throttle to get into the area for some pictures of the 2 F18's.
ABC: Tower, we have visual on CF-18 #1, I don't have visual on #2.
Tower: ABC, other traffic already at your 6 at 15 miles. No conflict.
ABC(noticeably upset at not being able to get some good pictures): ABC Roger, we just wanted to get some pictures of the 2 is all. Thanks!"

A moment passes by, and then:

Unknown: "To C172 ABCD, wondering if you are still taking pictures"
ABC: "No the 2 18's are long gone, barely got any."
CF-18: "No you don't understand, this is the 18 pilot. Give me 5 ill be along side your 3. Get your camera ready"
CF-18: "ABC, is that you squawking 1200?"
ABC: "Roger"
CF-18: "Heeeeeerre comes the show!"

After about 3 minutes of him showboating at slow airspeeds, he then pulls vertical and then inverted directly over us. then departs back to base.

Tower: "ABC, state your position"
ABC: "ABC currently over (fix)"
Tower: "hm... funny because I'm showing you are currently on cloud 9"

Still to this day, the flight was the best I have ever had the pleasure of flying.

Some extra stuff added in, but close enough

teh1pilot wrote:While doing a flight with a buddy of mine to build some PIC time in a C172, we were passing through a local airport that just finished an airshow as we were approaching the control zone. When I made my initial call asking for clearance through, the conversation went like this....:

Tower:C172 ABC, clear through the zone. Traffic at your 11 o'clock doing a low and over. 2 CF-18's.
Meanwhile I punch the throttle to get into the area for some pictures of the 2 F18's.
ABC: Tower, we have visual on CF-18 #1, I don't have visual on #2.
Tower: ABC, other traffic already at your 6 at 15 miles. No conflict.
ABC(noticeably upset at not being able to get some good pictures): ABC Roger, we just wanted to get some pictures of the 2 is all. Thanks!"

A moment passes by, and then:

Unknown: "To C172 ABCD, wondering if you are still taking pictures"
ABC: "No the 2 18's are long gone, barely got any."
CF-18: "No you don't understand, this is the 18 pilot. Give me 5 ill be along side your 3. Get your camera ready"
CF-18: "ABC, is that you squawking 1200?"
ABC: "Roger"
CF-18: "Heeeeeerre comes the show!"

After about 3 minutes of him showboating at slow airspeeds, he then pulls vertical and then inverted directly over us. then departs back to base.

Tower: "ABC, state your position"
ABC: "ABC currently over (fix)"
Tower: "hm... funny because I'm showing you are currently on cloud 9"

Still to this day, the flight was the best I have ever had the pleasure of flying.

In the spirit of all things internet. . .and adding the fact that you took pictures. . .

PICS OR IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!

AlbertaBoy wrote:In the spirit of all things internet. . .and adding the fact that you took pictures. . .
PICS OR IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!

+1

Had one in class yesterday,

"*A/C Callsign*, runway 28R cleared to land, caution runway right of mower"

Timmins-Moosonee sector controller, handed off an aircraft to the Wawa sector:

"XXX contact Toronto on 1-3-4-2-7, take care."

"OK 1-3-4-2-7, thanks"

1 minute later..

"Toronto, XXX, nobody home on 1-3-4-2-7, do you have another frequency?"

-Yeah my mistake, it's actually 1-2-4-0-7

-oh ok, 1-2-4-0-7 you said?

-That's correct, one twenty four O seven...TWO-FOUR...a case of beer.

-Haha ok very good, we got it now! Good night sir!

After nearly 50 years in ATC I had many situations that called for a good retort and just a few nights ago was reminded of a goodie and it went like this...

"Boundary tower Cessna ABC 5 miles to the north of you over the river with the ATIS landing"

"Cessna ABC that river is a thousand miles long, now would you please tell me where you really are at!"

"ABC over the Dees Tunnel:

"Thank you ABC but the tunnel is 3 miles west..you are cleared straight in R12"

All in a days work

We had a lady working the FSS at Kamloops who was known to be very careful of radio etiquette and not say anything more than was required, essentially not one to chat around. This happened a few weeks before she retired recently.

A light single engine aircraft landed runway 09 and cleared on Alpha, the pilot with a confident sounding voice, "Kamloops Radio, ABC clear on Alpha. Could you direct us to the self-serve fuel please?"

Without skipping a beat, the lady at the FSS replies, "Umm, for that you will have to go about 35 miles south of the airport."

The pilot is now confused and replies, "Oh! I thought there was fuel available for sale at the field here?"

FSS - "Well, we do have fuel trucks that will serve you fuel, but no self-serve fuel on the field here. Please contact Shell or Executive for fuel on frequencies XXX or XXX"

I had just landed after a lesson with a student and taxiing back to the flight school. I got on the radio, "That was a good one!"

With loud laughter in the background, she replies, "I thought so too!"

Departing Teterboro NYC this past week.
we are a C172RG and we are positioned between large turbine private jets taking off from Runway 01.

Tower clears us to "line up and wait" after a big boy citation takes off. The three of us in the airplane are all pilots (PPL) and Tower tells us we're clear for take-off. We request an additional 2 minutes for wake turbulence to disperse from the runway, and Tower's response is that "we don't have wake turbulence on runway 1", taxi forward exit at Juliet, contact ground.

He eventually gets us lined up again and has us sitting on the centre line of 01 for probably 8 minutes (making a point i guess), clears us to take off. We take off and during the climb we communicate with Tower again and ask him whom we should contact for flight following until we can get to Boston Center. ATC tells us, "nobody wants to talk to you". Literally, we're flying blind through NY airspace for about 45 minutes calling different New York Centre frequencies until we get to Boston Centre who finally talks to us!

Light twin doing circuits at a busy training airport.

PLO: Tower PLO right downwind 25 touch and go.

TWR: PLO Tower you're cleared to land runway 25.

PO: PLO

*PLO DOES A TnG despite being cleared to land.

TWR: PLO you just took off without a clearance! In the future if you're looking for a TnG and I clear you to land remind me so I can clear you for a TnG.

PLO: Ma'am, consider yourself reminded.

CYOO circa 2006.

Student pilot: Oshawa tower C-G*** entering the zone from Port Perry descending FL1500.

Tower: C-G*** standby.....

Tower: C-G*** NASA has cleared you for re-entry.

Best ATC Response I’ve had in a while...
The other day while departing IAD...

http://archive-server.liveatc.net/kiad/ ... -2330Z.mp3

Starts at 04:21 in the recording...

Twr: Speedbird 6W Heavy Dulles Tower good evening runway 30 line up and wait

BAW 6W: Ok ah runway 30 Line up and wait via Zulu, um we just have to ah, we just had a minor technical issue that’s just cropped up, can we just ah, hold position for a couple minute or do you want us to taxi up to the holding point?

Twr: alright I’ll tell you what, Speedbird 6W Heavy hold your position there, and let me know when you are ready to move.

BAW 6W: wilco Speedbird 6W Heavy, thank you, we’ll hold our position here.

SKW 61: and tower SkyWest 61 with you.

Twr: SkyWest 61 good evening Dulles Tower, wind 180 @ 6, runway 19 center clear to land

SKW 61: 19 center, clear to land, SkyWest 61

Twr: Porter 728… it appears… that a passenger on the Heavy British didn’t like his Chivas Regal… so your going to go in front of him… so don’t hit him and continue to 30…

POE 728: Broken Response (believe it was avoid the 747 and line up 30 Porter 728)

Twr: just continue, I’ll have line up and wait for you in a moment.

POE 728: Broken Response

Horizon has a flight YVR to SEA with the flight number 2222. Heard the departure controller call him "Horizon Air too many two's" cleared on course.

If ever looking for some ATC/ Pilot entertainment, do a youtube search of "Newark tower angry controller".

co-joe wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 5:49 am Horizon has a flight YVR to SEA with the flight number 2222. Heard the departure controller call him "Horizon Air too many two's" cleared on course.

Similar to the old Jazz 7777 YYZ-YYB. At one time or another, I've been called:

- Jazz Quad Seven
- Jazz Triple Seven Seven
- Jazz Seven Triple Seven
- Jazz Seventy Seven Seventy Seven
- Jazz All Sevens
- Jazz Double Seven's
- Jazz Seven Thousand Seven Hundred and Seventy Seven

I'm sure I'm missing some others in there as well.

I always enjoy listening in when "Grumpy" is working YWG Centre 119.9/126.4/133.9...LOL

Bavros wrote: ↑Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:53 am Light twin doing circuits at a busy training airport.

PLO: Tower PLO right downwind 25 touch and go.

TWR: PLO Tower you're cleared to land runway 25.

PO: PLO

*PLO DOES A TnG despite being cleared to land.

TWR: PLO you just took off without a clearance! In the future if you're looking for a TnG and I clear you to land remind me so I can clear you for a TnG.

PLO: Ma'am, consider yourself reminded.

I was conducting multiple touch-and-gos at CYHM a few years ago. After about the third or fourth circuit I get this:
"ABC, Tower, I've now conferred with my colleague and you actually need to get approval for multiple touch and gos."
"Hamilton Tower, this is ABC, request multiple touch and gos."
"ABC, Hamilton Tower, that's approved!"