My first thought about this is: Follow Laura's advice.
My next thought is:
I understand this is a substantial investment!!!
Yes, but not just the money, that's actually the easy part. Flying is a substantial investment in your effort to learn, focus your attention, and commit to keeping current with the skills you learn. From the time you arrive to the airport for the purpose of flying, you have to invest yourself in what you're doing. Though a delightful recreational activity, it is not something you can succeed at if you just dip you toe in, you'll have to immerse yourself. Your extra capacity for thinking and learning must be devoted to it.
When I learned to fly, computers were hardly known, and TV had six channels, so books about flying were my distraction. Now I see so much distraction available, I wonder how people could focus at all - but you must! That's not to say that we don't use computers, certainly, they provide excellent access to things like the regulations (which you gotta know), weather and flight planning information, and formal ground school resources. And... these chat groups, which contain some useful advice, when used with wise moderation!
Commit yourself to the airport for the day, stay around and watch landings and takeoffs. Read the magazines, and chat with pilots if they have time (pilots love to be asked about the plane they just flew in!). To become absorbed in aviation, you will have to be where the planes are! When I learned to fly, I would spend the day at the airport (Brampton), and listen, chat (if I had anything of remote value to add), offer to help wash planes, and help pump gas. I met excellent people. Last fall I flew there for lunch, on a beautiful, though breezy day. As I joined the circuit overhead, I saw nearly all of the training fleet parked on the ramp. I landed, and went into the restaurant - crickets! Apparently it was too windy to fly - well... not really, I flew in. But I met a student pilot, had lunch, and he and I chatted about flying for a while. He had come just to be around the airport, even though he would not fly that day after all. Go and absorb aviation, and give it more than a fleeting chance to draw you in!
My final thought for this post: You gender has zero to do with anything in piloting airplanes, and anyone telling you otherwise deserves less of your attention. Just go and do it...