VFR diversion?

Snowking · Post by **Snowking** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:42 am

Just wondering if anyone out there has any funny stories of bathroom emergencies while being stuck in the airplane. (pilots or pax)

The other day we had just levelled off at cruise and it hit me. I would say it was about an 8 out of 10. I was lucky after about 10 minutes it subsided, but if it had gotten much worse I wouldve had a serious problem on my hand. We wouldve had to divert with a bunch of passengers on board. That wouldve been a good one to explain to the bosses, and the pax for that matter.

bizjet_mania · Post by **bizjet_mania** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:49 am

Natural Gas leak

Tell them u got it all under contro.l, that should cover ur ass and even make u look good

Right Seat Captain · Post by **Right Seat Captain** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:52 am

Always bring a plastic bag with some toilet paper, and an empty water bottle with you on long trips!

dangerous · Post by **dangerous** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:58 am

I had to take a whiz once while flying SP IFR. The only think I had was my nalgene bottle full of water. So I emptied it, then filled it. Luckily there was absolutely no turbulence while I was doing my business. Had to buy a new nalgene bottle, but it was worth it. From then on, I always brought an emptly bottle with me!

Out of Control · Post by **Out of Control** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 11:00 am

I find the sick sacks work great, as for number 2, your f----d

Bede · Post by **Bede** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 11:17 am

Flying a navajo in the arctic, peed in a sick bag and threw it out the storm window. Bag opens in flight and I get frozen urine streaks all down the fuselage.

dxprguy · Post by **dxprguy** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 11:26 am

If you want a continuation of this topic visit:
http://www.avcanada.ca/forums2/viewtopic.php?t=1291
I am still laughing at some of these a year later....!!

fanspeed · Post by **fanspeed** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 12:03 pm

Bede Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:17 am Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flying a navajo in the arctic, peed in a sick bag and threw it out the storm window. Bag opens in flight and I get frozen urine streaks all down the fuselage.

Lost a good watch out of one of those windows once. Live and learn!

fanspeed · Post by **fanspeed** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 12:10 pm

Back on topic-was in a floatplane witha bunch of buddies once-had to piss real bad, but managed to hold it til we hit the water. Got out while the pilot was taxiing in to piss-prop still turning. I'm about 3/4 into it, look back and see that one of my buddies has the same idea, only right behind me-needless to say, I was at the point where I couldn't stop peeing, and it blew all over him in the propwash...............got some on me as well, while trying to avoid pissing on him. Call up the girlfriend and ask her to come get me, and please bring two pairs of clean pants...................

Aviatard · Post by **Aviatard** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:31 pm

Two words: venturi effect. Sometimes Bernoulli is your friend.

broompusher · Post by **broompusher** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 7:26 pm

Everyone says bring a bottle, just make sure it a BIG ENOUGH bottle....learned that one the hard way.......besides once you start you cant stop.....it stings! (was doing x-country build up at the time)

Not easy to explain to the CFI why the plane smelled like piss, and not fun cleaning it either.

(highly recomend no less than 1L bottles)

Scuba_Steve · Post by **Scuba_Steve** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 7:41 pm

Flying from Yellowknife to Diavik once, in a twin otter had about 15 pax in the back, a slight, rather attractive female comes to the cockpit about 30 mins into the flight and says she has to 'go', we say 'ummm can you hold it for another 45 mins or so?" she says no, so we do a quick ' Nearest USER" on the ole' trimble 2000 and come accross a old mining strip halfway between us and diavik, so we told her best we can do is 20 mins. She manages, we land on the strip no problems, shut down one engine while I get her out and she runs behind some barrels.

Another story. Flew out of Port Radium (a few weeks after this particular event) again with the same pilot in the Twin Otter, had a few popele in the back and some gear, chain saws, a Quad, generators etc. we get back and I notice some liquid on the floor, thinking it was gasoline or diesel I take a sample of it with my fingers, and yep you guess it, raised it to my nose to take a wiff.....it wasn't either, some (now horrified) ladie has pissed into a back which had leaked all over the back and I now had a nosefull of her piss, not to mention some very dirty hands.. had a good laugh over that one after I cleaned up.

Cheers

oldtimer · Post by **oldtimer** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:03 pm

It never ceases to amaze me how 10 oz. of coffee can turn into 2 quarts of urine. Try vibrating across Saskatchewan in an old Metro banging the knees together. If ATC would have given us a hold, it would have been a disaster.

stuckmike · Post by **stuckmike** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:13 pm

Another one floating around YZF...

Twin Otter
Spring Ski Season.
Captain forced to make an Emergency landing on a lake.
Jumps back into the cockpit after baking his cake.
Notices a slight aroma in the cockpit as the bleeds come on.
Winter flight suit.
Has a hood.

I love that one.

Cheers.

pontius · Post by **pontius** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 4:21 am

Some people are their own worst enemies. I was ferrying a Cheyenne from Calgary to Cairo one sunny June day. The heater quit on the leg from The Pas (social diversion) to Frobisher.
I was dressed for the time of year and chose to remain at high altitude for the range.
I began to freeze and tried to keep warm by drinking lots and lots and lots of coffee.
Well, believe it or not,I soon began to feel a little uncomfortable and by the time I landed in Frobisher I was seeing double.
I parked the airplane and ran to the nearest building, into the washroom, only to find the one and only can occupied.
I ran yelling obscenities around the building and found an empty office with an empty trash can and......heaven!
I believe we got the heater fixed while we were in Frobisher, anyway, no more problems until we got to Cairo when the same problem affected the air conditioning, but my bladder can deal with plus 45 better than minus 45.

switchflicker · Post by **switchflicker** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 4:53 am

Heard a good one in YTH on the FSS freq. yesterday

American registered King air of some sort intended to clear customs in Churchill (imagine the stage length from the USA!!) did a missed approach there and proceeded to the alternate of CYTH. The RCMP does the emergency customs I guess because the FSS lady said for the King air people to shut down and wait with the door closed. The pilot on the radio replied NEGITIVE, WE HAVE PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS

FREEFALL · Post by **FREEFALL** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 5:18 am

switchflicker wrote:Heard a good one in YTH on the FSS freq. yesterday

American registered King air of some sort intended to clear customs in Churchill (imagine the stage length from the USA!!) did a missed approach there and proceeded to the alternate of CYTH. The RCMP does the emergency customs I guess because the FSS lady said for the King air people to shut down and wait with the door closed. The pilot on the radio replied NEGITIVE, WE HAVE PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS

They requested a port-a-pottie first.

VFR diversion?

VFR diversion?

VFR diversion.