Coming clean with TC

[waciwo6371]

Years ago, I was flying as a junior FO. On the surface, things were fine. But privately, I was dealing with depression. I hid it well, but life was taking a toll—fatigue, sadness, insomnia. I finally went to a walk-in clinic, was diagnosed, and started on an SSRI.

I didn’t report it to Transport. I was scared of losing my medical, my career, everything. So I kept flying. The medication helped. Therapy helped. I stabilized, got better, and eventually tapered off the SSRI under supervision. I never missed a day of flying, and I’ve never felt unsafe or impaired in the cockpit. Under todays rules I'd be allowed to fly restricted.

Fast forward to today: I’m a Captain with a scheduled operator, and still haven’t disclosed. I know that technically I violated the rules and do every medical. I’ve carried that guilt with me for years.

I’m thinking about coming clean. Owning up to it. I believe in safety, but I also know the fear that pilots face when dealing with mental health.

I hope the system is evolving to allow for honesty without career-ending consequences.

If you've never suffered pain like this then take a second before you hit enter...

What should I do? What will TC do?

-Wac

[goingnowherefast]

If you're a Captain with a scheduled operator, then I'm assuming you have ALPA resources at your disposal? (Unless your Porter, then wait a few weeks while things get set up).

Ask one of your reps to put you in contact with an aeromedical expert. Have this chat with someone who is more knowledgeable than strangers on the internet.

You're also not alone. Tons of pilots hide mental and medical information from their CAME and TC out of fear for their jobs and ability to feed and provide for their families. It's a legitimate fear. As your post also suggests, it's not the correct course of action. TC is also realizing this and is getting better. Are they at the stage you need them to be? That's a conversation for an ALPA aeromedical expert.

[rotorspeed]

Unfortunately people who were honest got screwd by medical officials. Initially reporting completely controlled issues . Get legal advice

[ZBBYLW]

Treat your medical as a snap shot in time. It's this year, what ever happened in the past was in the past.

Being honest with TC is important, and if you're currently on meds it's best you be honest. I honestly don't see any productive reason to bring up the past.

In the last year (or 6 months) have you seen a doctor about it? If not, then the answer is no.

If you're struggling with lifes challenges and you feel like the clutch is slipping a bit, it's nice to know that TC is more open to helping people with mental health challenges than in the past.

[altiplano]

What ZBB said.

Remember that TC medical is a bureaucratic exercise that we have to tolerate every year. That's all. Let sleeping dogs lie and don't open yourself up to a vindictive, jealous pencil pusher in Ottawa getting their hooks in you. It will probably fall off a desk and take years to sort out.

Manage your health as a professional with a doctor that works for you, not your company and Transport. Don't fly if you're not fit, there's no shame in stepping back and self managing.

[mmm...bacon]

You’re sorted now, yes? In that case, as Ralph Klein once famously said, “shoot, shovel and shut up.” Nothing good can come of coming clean now - as Alti mentioned, you could run afoul of some officious bureaucrat who would yank your medical and tie you up in paperwork for months. Keep quiet, suffer your burden of guilt ( c’mon - it’s not like you were drowning kittens!) and go on with your life.

[digits_]

If you want to come clean, talk to an aviation lawyer familiar with medicals and preferably your local regional authority (or whatever the name may be).

I know of a colleague who had a similar situation (albeit a physical issue and not a mental issue) who came clean a couple years after the fact without an issue.

Personally I think it could go either way. It might not be in your best interest to do so.