Why Pistons are better than Turbines...

Gramps · Post by **Gramps** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 3:33 pm

DEDICATED TO ALL OF US WHO FLEW PISTON ENGINES

We gotta get rid of those turbines, they're ruining aviation and our hearing...

A turbine is too simple minded, it has no mystery. The air travels through it in a straight line and doesn't pick up any of the pungent fragrance of engine oil or pilot sweat.

Anybody can start a turbine. You just need to move a switch from "OFF" to "START" and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a while. My PC is harder to start.

Cranking a piston engine requires skill, finesse and style. You have to seduce it into starting. It's like waking up a sexy girl friend.

On some planes, the pilots aren't even allowed to do it...

Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a lady-like poof and start whining a little louder.

Piston engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click, BANG, more rattles, another BANG, a big macho FART or two, more clicks, a lot more smoke and finally a serious low pitched roar. We like that.

It's a GUY thing...

When you start a piston engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on the flight ahead. Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan: Useful, but, hardly exciting.

When you have started his piston engines successfully your crew chief looks up at you like he'd let you kiss his girl too!

Turbines don't break or catch fire often enough, leading to aircrew boredom, complacency and inattention. A piston engine at speed looks and sounds like it's going to blow any minute. This helps concentrate the
mind !

Turbines don't have enough control levers or gauges to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to fiddle with during long flights.

Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman Lamps.

Piston engines smell like God intended machines to smell.

chillout · Post by **chillout** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 3:50 pm

Gramps, Couldn't agree with ya more!! Except after having three of them cease to function properly inflight, I can't say that I am upset starting the turbine in the morning. Cheers

Cat Driver · Post by **Cat Driver** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 3:58 pm

Yeh, turbines never fail.....

Mike Falk · Post by **Mike Falk** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:24 pm

Pistons are great, I won't deny it.
however I don't miss them, especially when it comes to winter time and the janitrol cacks out. Bleed air rules

pika · Post by **pika** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:48 pm

Only reason pistons beat turbines is because of the "piston broke/pissed and broke" joke. "Turbine broke" isn't quite so funny.

JigglyBus · Post by **JigglyBus** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 6:03 pm

I think it's funny

roscoe · Post by **roscoe** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 6:50 pm

Turbines and the "quiet, dark cockpit" give the bus drivers too much time to dick around with things best left alone. This gives rise to endless hours of wasted troubleshooting due to reports of counterrotating gimbal sprocket cage indications not normal etc.
I miss the gooey black stuff, it washed off easy, and didn't burn tender, unmentionable skin if you didn't wash it off well enough. (Skydrol anyone?)

Flaps 1 Billion · Post by **Flaps 1 Billion** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:15 pm

Blah Blah blah blah. bla blahhhh blah blas blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh blah

Big Pistons Forever · Post by **Big Pistons Forever** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:30 pm

Flaps 1 Billion.

Ah the myopia of youth

.... they will never experience the deep reasuring rumble of a big round engine, take pleasure in a clean hot start,
or know that your skill rather than some unfeeling computer will determine how well (or badly) the engine is running.

Cat Driver · Post by **Cat Driver** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:36 pm

Not to mention the feeling of actually doing something with wrenches maintaining and fixing them...

But when one has never experienced things one can not compare..

Cat

Flybabe · Post by **Flybabe** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:05 pm

I think F1B was referring to the state of your hearing after years of piston flying

Flaps 1 Billion · Post by **Flaps 1 Billion** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:06 pm

Haha, maybe you're right babe. Though apparently I'm not old enough to be deaf yet. No computers on my bird big pistons, though it sure is nice to just flick that switch, sit back and be a lazy turbine pilot, at least till next lay off, hehe

... · Post by **...** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:12 am

Gramps wrote:
Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan:

I hate ceiling fans.

W5 · Post by W5 » Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:15 pm

Ah yes; pistons. They are the ones because they "suck,squeeze, bang and blow"!!

Turbines: they whine like flight atttendants.

wingtip · Post by **wingtip** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:40 pm

At 30 west, I'll take the turbines but pistons are more fun any other time

Fork-Tailed Devil · Post by **Fork-Tailed Devil** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:45 pm

Couldn't agree more.......hey what's that thing on your avatar Gramps?!!!

Stearman · Post by **Stearman** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:05 pm

"Forked Tailed Devil" - I like the name.

Turbines - Cat Never say never- I use to think the same thing until one blew on me.

However my luck hasn't been any better over the years with the pistons.

I have to say pistons are more fun.

raven54 · Post by **raven54** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:09 pm

I'm pretty sure turbines also "suck, squeeze, bang and blow!"

Stearman · Post by **Stearman** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:13 pm

Yes they do but ya gotta like the FA and whining comparison.

Cat Driver · Post by **Cat Driver** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:14 pm

" Turbines - Cat Never say never- I use to think the same thing until one blew on me. "

My comment was toung in cheek, I have had two PT6 quit on me.

Stearman · Post by **Stearman** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 6:17 pm

Cheers to that eh.

LH · Post by LH » Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:56 pm

Cat ------ANY piston as long as it doesn't have a kauffman starter or a handle to crank the son-of-a-bitch.

Why Pistons are better than Turbines...

Why Pistons are better than Turbines...

Re: Why Pistons are better than Turbines...