Male Sex Test
Gentlemen Please Take the Following TEST
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the
last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at
the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered "a" more than 7 times,
check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered "b" more than seven times,
check into therapy, you're still a little confused.
If you answered "c" more than 7 times,
"YOU DA MAN!"
Male sex test inside this thread...please answer honestly.
Moderators: sky's the limit, sepia, Sulako, lilfssister, North Shore
Male sex test inside this thread...please answer honestly.
"FLY THE AIRPLANE"!
http://www.youtube.com/hazatude
http://www.youtube.com/hazatude
Re: Male sex test inside this thread...please answer honestl
I suffer from ejaculatio praecox mesself ....but the broadshazatude wrote:Male Sex Test
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter
are always STILL frisky after 18.5 seconds of combination foreplay and full penetration.....
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Naughty Catholic
- Rank 3
- Posts: 176
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:35 am
so whats wrong w/ masturbating on the bus? as long as you keep your mess to yourself we wont have a problem Re: Male sex test inside this thread...please answer honestl
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
(although we both know there's no love going on when you're humping like Bonobo monkeys. Why they call it that beats me. I say rename it to monkey love)
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
you've both shared:
c) five tequila slammers.
I like to deal with the fall out of my actions later on.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
Theres nothing like looking into your partners face of total surrender of her body during her orgasm.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
d) Boring...common Haz...turn this up a notch!!!
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
sex with is:
b) the second best part of the experience (calling your buddies and telling them you just nailed that not chick everyone was taking about BUah hahah)
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the
last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
d) "I didn't even notice...you're crazy!!! That's crazy talk!! Let's sex like Bonobo monkeys!!!!"
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
d) Has been pussified by the 80's and 90's.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at
the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
No comment.
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
...why is she watching you masterbate? I don't think you got the full scope of the situation...there a woman in your room most likely ready to sex you...and you feel the need to masturbate?!? By yourself?!
a) lovemaking
(although we both know there's no love going on when you're humping like Bonobo monkeys. Why they call it that beats me. I say rename it to monkey love)
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
you've both shared:
c) five tequila slammers.
I like to deal with the fall out of my actions later on.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
Theres nothing like looking into your partners face of total surrender of her body during her orgasm.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
d) Boring...common Haz...turn this up a notch!!!
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
sex with is:
b) the second best part of the experience (calling your buddies and telling them you just nailed that not chick everyone was taking about BUah hahah)
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the
last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
d) "I didn't even notice...you're crazy!!! That's crazy talk!! Let's sex like Bonobo monkeys!!!!"
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
d) Has been pussified by the 80's and 90's.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at
the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
No comment.10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
...why is she watching you masterbate? I don't think you got the full scope of the situation...there a woman in your room most likely ready to sex you...and you feel the need to masturbate?!? By yourself?!
