Well For me its been 9 months since my heart was ripped out of my chest, set on fire, and then pissed on. My advice is to definatley stay away from the booze, this will help nothing, it just sends you deeper into a spiral of depression and misery. The best thing you can do is start doing things for yourself. Live well, take trips, even if they are small, hang with the boys, and definatley work out. Hit the gym, improve yourself and watch the ladies flock to you. Anyway brother I know how bad it hurts, and I still get a sting still every now and then but life goes on, and there is a lucky lady out there waiting for you.
Chin up
X-ray
How do you get over a girlfriend?
Moderators: sky's the limit, sepia, Sulako, lilfssister, North Shore
I feel for ya
following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
You and your opinion!....your opinion ain't worth squat OUTSIDE of the sanatorium.....inside?... you're napoleontrey kule wrote:Skywolfe wrote:
Aww im very sorry to hear that *hugs*
Ah Skywolfe, I am kind of hurt too. feeling blue, Many bad things have happend to me...and well...um....you know... he is not the only one that might like a hug.
outside?..yer a half educated geek.
Hugs Rock! Now if only I can get my English friends to stop freaking out over the double kiss hello. Also a confirmed Snugglaholic.SkyWolfe wrote:lol - Im such a sucker for hugs*hugs* for trey
JW Things will get better with time. She isn't the last girl in your life. There is no set time period for long it'll take to get over it. Letting it is one way to help and you've already started doing that. Follow the advice of others on this thread and keep on going with your life. The world has not stopped and neither should you.
The things I love are not HR approved
"I hate you so much right now." - sar
"I hate you so much right now." - sar
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Cat Driver
- Top Poster
- Posts: 18921
- Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 8:31 pm
Get yourself puppy dog, they listen to your stories, they lick your hand , they are always glad to see you...and they are loyal..
...soon you will find another woman to love.
Cat
...soon you will find another woman to love.
Cat
The hardest thing about flying is knowing when to say no
After over a half a century of flying no one ever died because of my decision not to fly.
After over a half a century of flying no one ever died because of my decision not to fly.
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superiorwhore
- Rank 3
- Posts: 155
- Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2006 10:19 pm
The ring? Keep it as A constant reminder people are evil - okay just got too personal there 
Jake, try to keep the orange veggies out of your @$$:( That'd make me cranky too! Nothing like a few needless attacks, welcome to AVCanada.
I have to agree w/cat on the puppy theory - purrrsonaly - I prefer kittens, two black cute ones - You know they wount leave or be abusive of your love! (unless they want some junk food )
Jake, try to keep the orange veggies out of your @$$:( That'd make me cranky too! Nothing like a few needless attacks, welcome to AVCanada.
I have to agree w/cat on the puppy theory - purrrsonaly - I prefer kittens, two black cute ones - You know they wount leave or be abusive of your love! (unless they want some junk food
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mellow_pilot
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AEROMONKEY
- Rank 5
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- Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:19 pm
- Location: Thunder Bay
J Dub,
My 2 cents. Hit the booze..hard, very hard. It makes you hit rock bottom, and somewhere to progress from. I've been there, best thing that ever happened to me....might sound crazy, but it worked for me. Just know when to stop the sauce when all gets back to normal.
When it comes to the ring, let her keep it. It's mental motivation to succeed. Just think...it may be easier to ask for the ring back, but to let it go, knowing that in the future she'll see it at the bottom of her jewelry box and wonder...."I wonder how he's doing?".......well, your success is you solace. The 1,2,3 grand that you spent on the ring is money well spent when it comes to motivation to succeed in life, and for saying to yourself that you took the upper ground.
I went through this twenty ......hmmmmm...four years ago. Wouldn't change a thing. I have the best wife, kids, house, life that i could ever want. Looking back 24 years ago....best thing that ever happened to me.
BTW, Cat's right. Get a dog...far more loyal.
Good luck
My 2 cents. Hit the booze..hard, very hard. It makes you hit rock bottom, and somewhere to progress from. I've been there, best thing that ever happened to me....might sound crazy, but it worked for me. Just know when to stop the sauce when all gets back to normal.
When it comes to the ring, let her keep it. It's mental motivation to succeed. Just think...it may be easier to ask for the ring back, but to let it go, knowing that in the future she'll see it at the bottom of her jewelry box and wonder...."I wonder how he's doing?".......well, your success is you solace. The 1,2,3 grand that you spent on the ring is money well spent when it comes to motivation to succeed in life, and for saying to yourself that you took the upper ground.
I went through this twenty ......hmmmmm...four years ago. Wouldn't change a thing. I have the best wife, kids, house, life that i could ever want. Looking back 24 years ago....best thing that ever happened to me.
BTW, Cat's right. Get a dog...far more loyal.
Good luck
As Jimmy Buffet once said, the best revenge is living well. Do this. Go on a vacation and get a tan. Then keep it. Get into better shape. Do all these types of things. Be social. Join a couple of sports teams if you can. Don't let her know she's gotten the better of you. In fact, make it seem (if only to those around you) that you're doing waaay better without her.
You're heading down a tough road, there's no getting around it. I was in love with a girl a while back, and it has taken me one and a half years to get to the point that I don't think about her every single day. Just MOST days. And I've had the luxury of utilizing the distractions of being in a foreign, fucked up land to pry my mind from the daily occurance of wondering about her.
But whatever you do, don't stay in contact with her. Any contact you have is like a heroin addict reaching for the needle for support. This is essentially what you need to do: beat the addiction you've had to this girl. Delete her numbers from your phone. Remove her e-mail from your computer. Pull down and throw away (or at least store in some deep corner of your territory) any pictures or letters from her. Store or throw away any momentos from her... except those things that could help you score another girl (this is how my mind works, anyways!!!). For example, I kinda liked the idea that the artwork that my ex had given me could actually dazzle a girl in some small way. And I love the notion that she has somehow participated in me hooking up with another girl!
If she stops by, have this chat with her, and make it short: "I don't want to know you anymore, as it doesn't help me move on. So please, I beg you, don't phone me, don't e-mail me, don't text me, don't stop by, and don't have your friends call me to dig up information about me, if I see you on the street I'll wave and carry on. If I see you in a store, I'll leave. Bar A, B & C mine; Bar D, E & F yours. Restaurant A, B & C mine; Restaurant D, E & F yours. This Starbucks mine; that Starbucks yours. This Safeway mine; that Safeway yours. I'll shop at this mall; you shop at that one. I don't want to see you. If I'm being at all unclear here, let me know so I can clarify it with you. And if you understand, there's the door. Let me walk you to it." Then don't hug her. Just say goodbye. This is a tough conversation to have, but necessary. You kinda need to abandon any mutual friend that you had, too, if you don't know for sure that they're more on your side than hers. If you move, don't let anyone who knows both of you know where you're at. Slide right out of her life, and make sure she stays out of yours.
She's a woman, so she'll inevitably disobey what you've asked of her, because she knows it'll @#$! with you. When she phones you, don't answer. You have call display, right? And if its a number you don't recognize, let them leave a message. If there's no message, it either wasn't important, or it was her phoning you from a friends place or something, knowing that you'd see a number on your phone that wasn't hers. There's NOTHING that you need to talk about. Its over.
Avoid being in places where you might see her. Regardless, if you're living in the same city as her, whenever you're out in public, you're head is gonna be swivelling looking for her. There's that line in a Big Wreck song, where he says, "...And I always catch the back of your head in a crowd, but don't turn around. Its never you & it ruins those memories..." I can't tell you how many time that I've thought I'd seen her, and my heart started racing like crazy. But in reality, (& this will sound morbid and strange) it would be easier if she had died, rather than broken up with me. I've had people close to me die, and I can't imagine what it would be like if they had died, but the possibility still remained that I might bump into them, and not be able to pick up where we left off. You basically have to treat it like you're mourning the persons death... because in reality, she is no longer alive in your life.
Life will move on, and it will be fine. I asked the same questions to people 1 and a half years ago that you're asking now. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and one day you'll meet a girl that will be sooooo cool and perfect for you that you'll wonder why this other one tore you up so bad. Be cool. Be safe. Go have fun.
Shankdown
You're heading down a tough road, there's no getting around it. I was in love with a girl a while back, and it has taken me one and a half years to get to the point that I don't think about her every single day. Just MOST days. And I've had the luxury of utilizing the distractions of being in a foreign, fucked up land to pry my mind from the daily occurance of wondering about her.
But whatever you do, don't stay in contact with her. Any contact you have is like a heroin addict reaching for the needle for support. This is essentially what you need to do: beat the addiction you've had to this girl. Delete her numbers from your phone. Remove her e-mail from your computer. Pull down and throw away (or at least store in some deep corner of your territory) any pictures or letters from her. Store or throw away any momentos from her... except those things that could help you score another girl (this is how my mind works, anyways!!!). For example, I kinda liked the idea that the artwork that my ex had given me could actually dazzle a girl in some small way. And I love the notion that she has somehow participated in me hooking up with another girl!
If she stops by, have this chat with her, and make it short: "I don't want to know you anymore, as it doesn't help me move on. So please, I beg you, don't phone me, don't e-mail me, don't text me, don't stop by, and don't have your friends call me to dig up information about me, if I see you on the street I'll wave and carry on. If I see you in a store, I'll leave. Bar A, B & C mine; Bar D, E & F yours. Restaurant A, B & C mine; Restaurant D, E & F yours. This Starbucks mine; that Starbucks yours. This Safeway mine; that Safeway yours. I'll shop at this mall; you shop at that one. I don't want to see you. If I'm being at all unclear here, let me know so I can clarify it with you. And if you understand, there's the door. Let me walk you to it." Then don't hug her. Just say goodbye. This is a tough conversation to have, but necessary. You kinda need to abandon any mutual friend that you had, too, if you don't know for sure that they're more on your side than hers. If you move, don't let anyone who knows both of you know where you're at. Slide right out of her life, and make sure she stays out of yours.
She's a woman, so she'll inevitably disobey what you've asked of her, because she knows it'll @#$! with you. When she phones you, don't answer. You have call display, right? And if its a number you don't recognize, let them leave a message. If there's no message, it either wasn't important, or it was her phoning you from a friends place or something, knowing that you'd see a number on your phone that wasn't hers. There's NOTHING that you need to talk about. Its over.
Avoid being in places where you might see her. Regardless, if you're living in the same city as her, whenever you're out in public, you're head is gonna be swivelling looking for her. There's that line in a Big Wreck song, where he says, "...And I always catch the back of your head in a crowd, but don't turn around. Its never you & it ruins those memories..." I can't tell you how many time that I've thought I'd seen her, and my heart started racing like crazy. But in reality, (& this will sound morbid and strange) it would be easier if she had died, rather than broken up with me. I've had people close to me die, and I can't imagine what it would be like if they had died, but the possibility still remained that I might bump into them, and not be able to pick up where we left off. You basically have to treat it like you're mourning the persons death... because in reality, she is no longer alive in your life.
Life will move on, and it will be fine. I asked the same questions to people 1 and a half years ago that you're asking now. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and one day you'll meet a girl that will be sooooo cool and perfect for you that you'll wonder why this other one tore you up so bad. Be cool. Be safe. Go have fun.
Shankdown
Not to mention a dog makes you approachable, and works great as chick bait. remember a Lab puppy is cute, but an old dog that you saved from the needle is even better.Cat Driver wrote:Get yourself puppy dog, they listen to your stories, they lick your hand , they are always glad to see you...and they are loyal..
...soon you will find another woman to love.
Cat
Get the ring back, sell it, and use the proceeds to help finance a nice ski, golf, or beach vacation with some buddies.
DO NOT do most of what Shankdown recommends, other than living well and not seeking or entertaining social contact with her. But at the same time, do not modify your life just to avoid her. It will be a rainy day in hell before I don't go to a certain bar, restuaunt, or other place so as to avoid running into someone. It's over, accept it, and from the moment you get your ring back, start disciplining yourself to not give a shit what she does. You didn't and don't own her, nor her you, hence, neither has the right to tell the other where they can and can't go, what they can and can't do.
If she phones or contacts you, be polite and show some sympathy for her. She is obviously not moving on herself and feels some need to maintain a connection, or a perverse need to harass you. Either way, she would be acting like a first rate loser. Take the high road and let her go without trying to "get back" or speaking poorly of her.
Feel sorry for her, not yourself. She doesn't realize yet what sort of big fish she let get off the line. Her loss will be some other women's gain.
DO NOT do most of what Shankdown recommends, other than living well and not seeking or entertaining social contact with her. But at the same time, do not modify your life just to avoid her. It will be a rainy day in hell before I don't go to a certain bar, restuaunt, or other place so as to avoid running into someone. It's over, accept it, and from the moment you get your ring back, start disciplining yourself to not give a shit what she does. You didn't and don't own her, nor her you, hence, neither has the right to tell the other where they can and can't go, what they can and can't do.
If she phones or contacts you, be polite and show some sympathy for her. She is obviously not moving on herself and feels some need to maintain a connection, or a perverse need to harass you. Either way, she would be acting like a first rate loser. Take the high road and let her go without trying to "get back" or speaking poorly of her.
Feel sorry for her, not yourself. She doesn't realize yet what sort of big fish she let get off the line. Her loss will be some other women's gain.
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Maritimeclipper
- Rank 0
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2006 7:19 am
- Location: Calgary
I think you should sleep with her sister..... only if she is not heavier then her. Well actually you should probably sleep with ther any way.
Seriously, things get better, but it may 6-9 months. Enjoy those sundays when you can watch football and drink beer, and not have to go to the mall so she can spend money.
Cheers
Seriously, things get better, but it may 6-9 months. Enjoy those sundays when you can watch football and drink beer, and not have to go to the mall so she can spend money.
Cheers
I'm not speeding I'm qualifying
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Maritimeclipper
- Rank 0
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2006 7:19 am
- Location: Calgary
I think you should sleep with her sister..... only if she is not heavier then her. Well actually you should probably sleep with ther any way.
Seriously, things get better, but it may 6-9 months. Enjoy those sundays when you can watch football and drink beer, and not have to go to the mall so she can spend money.
Cheers
Seriously, things get better, but it may 6-9 months. Enjoy those sundays when you can watch football and drink beer, and not have to go to the mall so she can spend money.
Cheers
I'm not speeding I'm qualifying
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Naughty Catholic
- Rank 3
- Posts: 176
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:35 am
Im sorry to hear that *hugs* but trust me i know how you fell I have had a bad breakup from experience recently, your just lucky you didnt marry her and now need a divorce 
ahh well, I know it hurts and i know it sucks but you will meet someone knew and the pain will eventually subside and you will be ok,
Someone said this to me when i was going through my breakup (still am i guess) " you take all the things you liked about your ex and you take them to the next relationship example, she was sweet, understanding, intelligent! so these are things you will want in the next person and then you take all the things you disliked example: Lazy, no goals, rude, etc) and you MAKE sure the next person is NONE of those.....You know it actually works...I know i wont date a drinker or smoker or someone who is lazy.....I guess its true what Parents say you learn from your mistakes....KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON
ahh well, I know it hurts and i know it sucks but you will meet someone knew and the pain will eventually subside and you will be ok, Someone said this to me when i was going through my breakup (still am i guess) " you take all the things you liked about your ex and you take them to the next relationship example, she was sweet, understanding, intelligent! so these are things you will want in the next person and then you take all the things you disliked example: Lazy, no goals, rude, etc) and you MAKE sure the next person is NONE of those.....You know it actually works...I know i wont date a drinker or smoker or someone who is lazy.....I guess its true what Parents say you learn from your mistakes....KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON
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mellow_pilot
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Dust Devil
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