We took a young boy home the other day; he'd had a kidney transplant and it was time to return to normal life after months of living at the hospital. He was 13, thin and friendly, with kinda a furry face; partly due to the steroids he was taking, and partly because he hadn't needed to shave yet in his life. I told him about the relatively short flight we were about to take, then asked him if he wanted to pee. He turned to his mother and asked permission. She said "Sure" and he went off to the washrooms. His mom noticed my look, and told me "He is still getting used to the idea of peeing; he hadn't gone in 5 years before the operation" And now he can. Man, do I ever take some things for granted.
In the last month we have taken 2 different newborn infants to have anuses installed. Apparently one in 10,000 babies don't have one at birth and I guess we hit the poop jackpot. At first glance not having an anus might seem like a nifty trick, but trust me, poop finds a way and you don't wanna know where it was appearing in the 2 infants. Follow up calls reported both girls were fine after the installation surgery.
Took another nosebleed guy last week. Mostly normal guy, some heart problems in his history. He takes some meds for it, it's generally under control. Until last week when he got a nosebleed and it didn't stop. People die from this all the time by the way. They tried cauterization (burning the blood vessels closed), chemical cauterization (putting silver paste on the cut), even packing his nose with cocaine (shrinks the blood vessels, dontcha know) , but nothing worked. I guess we were taking him to get a faucet installed or something, cause the medical people said they were out of ideas.
I heard a frustrated controller last week telling a student to stop taxiing, shut down the airplane, get to a phone and call him before the student flies again so the controller can go on a coffee break. The student had forgotten to call before taxiing, resulting in a hilarious head-to-head with a turboprop on the taxiway.
Did you know that some people who live in the far north are medevac'd south a couple of times a week for routine dialysis at the cost of a few thousand bucks a pop? Now you do. I guess the initial costs of a kidney machine are too high to justify putting them in northern communities, and it makes sense to pay smaller amounts on a regular basis, even though the costs end up being far higher over time.
Hmm... when I started this post I had like 10 little vignettes, but the growling of my stomach is preventing me from thinking clearly. Time for lunch, then maybe a few more lies and exaggerations
