10 excellent reasons to Move while the Moving's good.

[Spiraldive]

I hear music. It’s playing, and pilots are starting the moving dance everywhere.

I offer ten excellent reasons to move while the moving is good.

1. You don’t ever want to have to wonder…

… how the snotty-nosed, teething and drooling noskill aviation neophyte currently sitting to your right ended up in your dream job while you are still chucking bags off the 182 and cleaning up puke in buttnorthernfucknowhere. If you have any desire to eventually fly somewhere you aren’t flying already, go now.

2. The 3000+ hours that you had last year…

… that wouldn’t even get you a 18000$/yr job in the right seat of a kingair in Nunavut (unless you had a really good talent for suppressing your gag reflex) will now buy you interviews with air carriers in Canada and all over the world. So you haven’t updated your applications because…?

3. The Golden Rule of aviation is this:

When no one is hiring, your time is never good enough.
Not enough total time, twin time, glass time, pic time, time on type, northern time, southern time, big airport time, small airport time, turbine time, piston time, down on your knees time, sucking up time, wannabe time, working as the ops manager’s wife’s sex slave time. Whatever. No current PPC on type and no 4000hrs having done exactly what they do already, no job so fargthehell off and stop calling me.

When everyone is hiring, whatever time you have will do just fine. Licence, medical, good demeanor, all your teeth, good enough. So go already while they still like you.

4. You will have to take a pay cut sometime if you want to move up.

Fact of aviation life. Do it while the hiring is still going on and you can minimize the financial impact. Get a left seat sooner, or a bigger a/c wherever you go. If you piss around and enjoy the few thousand "extra" bucks most companies will start having to pay very soon to keep any pilots at all, understand that that is all the money you will make until the music starts again a decade from now. And you will be no more qualified after 10 more years on the caravan than you are now. In fact, you will be less qualified because no larger airline in their right mind will hire anyone who has flown entirely by themselves in uncontrolled airspace for 15 years. Hmmm.

5. Geography is like money, only bigger.

A kingair job based in Saskatoon will get you a bigger house, more land, and a better life-style than a 320 job based in Toronto. So even if you don’t give two messy, constricted-sphincter, loudly trumpeting, bowl-covering chili-craps about ever being an "airline pyelot", you might need to address where you are now vis-à-vis where you’d actually like to eventually be. Locations can be as hard to get in aviation as PPC’s. Good jobs in Saskatoon are not plentiful, so go get one while they’re there if you want one. The guy who takes it before you will have a house and some land and won’t be leaving any time soon…

6. Take a really good look…

…at the people around you if you currently work in places far from civilization as we know it. There are three types of "senior" pilots in such places:
A. The people who actually want to be there. Usually the really good people with great flying skills and a wealth of aviation knowledge second to none. Kudos to this entire breed, as they are the special few that keep the north safe from type B.
B. The people who couldn’t get a job anywhere else once they got there. Usually dangerous misfits with a chip on their shoulder. Rumours of incompetence travel faster than light in this small industry, and this group are the fu*kups who probably shouldn’t have been flying for a living in the first place. They often become cp’s and ops managers.
C. The people who forgot to go when they could have, and ended up stuck when the music stopped. Usually not very happy, and divorced. Very bitter.

So ask yourself if you are thinking about moving, but putting it off, which type will you be in 10 years?

7. No other industry is as driven from the top-down.

The capital costs of starting a major airline are very high. So growth at the top end is historically irregular and unreliable. In these excellent times such growth often comes (for the pilots) complete with a sand-covered, oversized anal dildo a-la Jetsgone, or the slightly less offensive but similarly rearward-placed and now-entirely-union-free Can’tJet. Before them, good but now gone ops like Canaircargo, Epa, Greyhound, Canada3, the list goes on.
So if the top end is actually moving with established carriers (Wj, Ac) and not newcrookairlines, jobs start popping up everywhere. 4 jobs appear downline for every pilot hired in a major airline, so the math says if Wj and Ac hire a combined 300 this year, 1200 jobs open up countrywide. So again, go while the goings good.

8. No, you don’t owe them anything.

Very few companies in Canada have paid a red cent in the last five years for training costs when it comes to initial PPC’s. No one has been moving. It is in good form to offer a year of your service in exchange for a fresh ppc, but if you already spent 5 years in the right seat waiting for it, 6 months might be good enough as they got their money out of you already . Screwing people who have treated you well is never a good idea, but every company should have been keeping the training budget in the bank for the time when the music starts. The only ones who didn’t do this are the type B’s, above, who made themselves look good at what they want now to be at your expense. Play it by ear, but don’t give in to misguided loyalties.

9. You don’t have to run uphill, for a change.

Everyone you know who has gone somewhere else can speak for you. When things are moving, there’s a way better chance that someone knows someone who knows you, wherever it is that you want to go. Don’t underestimate the potential of a good reference if you want to move on. Just pray you haven’t been an idiot, or you can expect to be a type B, above, for the rest of your career. And you’ll probably deserve it.

If you have any questions, have your people call my people, and they can do lunch and talk about it.

10. An expensive, but comfortable, chair.

So you buy out a bond, take a 30 grand a year pay cut, pay to move, sell the 52 inch plasma screen that was your entire life in Squealikeapig Alberta, go on milkweed detox, start reading the sections of the AIP about crossing the pond ‘cause that’s where you’re going next, rent a storage space because your 200 sq foot apartment in Calgary can’t hold the ATV and the Sled, or the dogs, put your wife on a diet, trade the Ram 3500 for an hybrid Pinto, learn online how to tie a tie again, buy an iron, some starch, bleach, KD, ky, shoes that don’t go bleep in the metal detector, and a book on "dealing with stress in modern society" , lose some of your few remaining hairs, and, finally, go on your initial aircraft course.

Then…

…During the first v1-cut in the sim, just after rotation, when you finally "get" that its no different than anything else you’ve ever flown except, maybe, easier, you’ll think, "yep, - I can get used to this. This chair is very comfortable. Expensive, but comfortable." Then you’ll make a terrible, but unavoidable, mistake..

You’ll look, just for a second, to your left, and think-

"that chair looks better".


Happy moving everyone, and all the best in the New Year.

[gowest]

awsome read!
thanks spiral dive.

[alpha1]

Beyond brilliant! Bravo!!

[KAG]

I'd clap, but but I can't so this will have to do...

[xsbank]

Spiraldive, you have managed to sum up this industry in one post. Never stop looking, honour your commitments then get moving.

Rule No.1: Apply for any job you are interested in - ignore the "requirements" or the "minimums" and apply/phone /visit anyway. They may want 5000 hours in a jet but you're standing right there and you know the other FO and they need to fill the course today 'cause the next one's not for 8 months so pack and get your butt to Teterboro/Witchita/Toronto now!

Rule No.2: See Rule number 1 - read it again and get moving!

Rule No.3: Have all your ducks set up - hand 'em a resume that a moron could digest in 30 seconds, 'cause they won't even look at it let alone read it if it takes longer than that.

Don't miss out - the economy is deteriorating in the US so they are thinking of escalating the war to get things moving again. Canada has had three months of no-growth! This ("music") could all be over by the summer, so don't miss out! Don't waste your life on a PC12 being grateful!

Rampies, if you have been on the ramp longer than 3 months and you are not actively being checked out, and you haven't sent off 100 resumes or phone calls by the end of next week, be prepared to stay put for 4 years. Or five.

Spiraldive nailed it - great post!

[LuckyPilot]

This should be posted on the bullentin board of every flight school in the country, BRILLIANT!!

[. ._]

A classic post that will be referred to for years to come!

-istp

[. .]

I thought the origional spiraldrive the top 10 for air sprint was unbeatable. I was wrong. truly amazing posts.

[Spiraldive]

I was looking around for that "original" top 10 post, but it must have vanished a while ago. Shame, I didn't keep a copy either.

[. .]

what year would it have been? there's probably a backup somewhere.

2003?

[bigsky]

You could not say it any better.

Combine what you said with this link http://www.avcanada.ca/forums2/viewtopic.php?t=273 and anyone with more than a private lic. should be up and flying in no time flat.

[groundpilot]

Excellent post...particularly enjoyed the type's A-B-C

[Spiraldive]

Endless,

I think it was 2002. Damn that seems like a long time ago now, but I guess it wasn't really. The original post got trashed after two days- with the still-standing record of evoking at least one death threat per day.

The second version I sooo considerately put up lasted quite a while longer, and was funnier anyway. If you do find a copy, please send it to me. I'm not on here as much as I used to be, but I do lurk every now and then.

[TopperHarley]

I think the old top-ten airsprint post was from the old avcanada (the original forums).

[Swerved]

D, D, D...another classic. We miss you, man. Come back up and visit sometime. We need spares for curling Saturday...you around?

Oh, and maybe it's time for a top ten of some sort in our company forum...I'm sure you can figure out something appropriate. Top ten Captains who won't be here next month?

Happy New Year, buddy.

[Nightflight]

NICE! Very nice!

[Pie Lot]

Classic Buddy a Classic.

You are just trying to make me reconsider my options aren't you...lol. Anyway, looking at a couple of things. Will call soon. Next time in YWG let me know. Talk soon.

[Spiraldive]

Pie lot,

Pardon? Hehe. Call me, mutt. We'll go out next time I'm "enjoying" the ambiance at the elephant. How ya gonna get the mountie off my couch so I can sleep?

[CaptainHaddock]

I hope all the guys above in seniority me read that, and take it to heart.

[Spiraldive]

Swerved,

No curling for me. No head for my broom (hmm) , and its + 30 down here, anyways. Find a good tourney and I might have to get a new one and come up. Visiting team in the BBQ bonspiel, perhaps? That would be fun.

And tell that deep-throated woman of yours (in preparation) that her hands are nice, but that take-out power actually comes from the legs, not the bicept. And that being liquored is a much better excuse for falling over.

But really, a good northern women should have known that already.

I'd post on the other forum, but are there even ten captains left?

Hehe.

[/i]

[newfycontrol]

Found on a previous post:


One fine hot Summer's afternoon saw a Cessna 150 flying in the
>>pattern at a quiet country airfield. The Instructor was getting
>>quite bothered with the student's inability to maintain altitude in
>>the thermals and was getting impatient at sometimes having to take
>>over the controls. Just then he saw a twin engine Cessna 5,000ft
>>above him and thought "Another 1,000 hrs of this and I qualify for
>>that twin charter job! Aaahh.. to be a real pilot..going
>>somewhere!"
>>
>>The Cessna 402 was already late and the boss told him this charter
>>was for one of the Company's premier clients. He'd already set MCT
>>and the cylinders didn't like it in the heat of this Summer's day.
>>He was at
>>6,000ft and the winds were now a 20kt headwind. Today was the 6th
>>day straight and he was pretty damn tired of fighting these
>>engines. Maybe if he got 10,000ft out of them the wind might die
>>off... geez those cylinder temps! He looked out momentarily and saw
>>a B737 leaving a contrail at
>>33,000ft in the serene blue sky. "Oh man" he thought, "My interview
>>is next month. I hope I just don't blow it! Outa G/A, nice jet job,
>>above the weather... no snotty passengers to wait for.. aahhh."
>>
>>The Boeing 737 bucked and weaved in the heavy CAT at FL330 and ATC
>>advised that lower levels were not available due traffic. The
>>Captain, who was only recently advised that his destination was
>>below RVR minimums had slowed to LRC to try and hold off a possible
>>inflight diversion, and arrange an ETA that would helpfully ensure
>>the fog had lifted to CATII minima. The Company negotiations broke
>>down yesterday and looked as if everyone was going to take a damn
>>pay cut. The F/O's will be particularly hard hit as their pay
>>wasn't anything to speak of anyway. Finally deciding on a speed
>>compromise between LRC and turbulence penetration, the Captain
>>looked up and saw Concorde at Mach 2+. Tapping his F/O's shoulder
>>as the 737 took another bashing, he said "Now THAT'S what we should
>>be on... huge pay ...super fast... not too many routes... not too
>>many legs... above the CAT...yep! What a life...!"


FL590 was not what he wanted anyway and considered
>>FL570. Already the TAT was creeping up again and either they would
>>have to descend or slow down. That damn rear fuel transfer pump was
>>becoming unreliable and the F/E had said moments ago that the
>>radiation meter was not reading numbers that he'd like to see.
>>Concorde descended to FL570 but the radiation was still quite high
>>even though the Notam indicated hunky dory below FL610. Fuel flow
>>was up and the transfer pump was intermittent. Evening turned into
>>night as they passed over the Atlantic. Looking up, the F/O could
>>see a tiny white dot moving against the backdrop of a myriad of
>>stars. "Hey Captain" he called as he pointed. "Must be the Shuttle.
>>"The Captain looked for a moment and agreed. Quietly he thought how
>>a Shuttle mission, while complicated, must be the be all and end
>>all in aviation. Above the crap, no radiation problems, no damn
>>fuel transfer problems... aaah. Must be a great way to earn a
>>buck."
>>
>>
>>
>>Discovery was into its 27th orbit and perigee was 200ft out from
>>nominated rendezvous altitude with the commsat. The robot arm was
>>virtually U/S and a walk may become necessary. The 200ft predicted
>>error would necessitate a corrective burn and Discovery needed that
>>fuel if a walk was to be required. Houston continually asked what
>>the Commander wanted to do but the advice they proffered wasn't
>>much help. The Commander had already been 12 hours on station
>>sorting out the problem and just wanted 10 minutes to himself to
>>take a leak. Just then a mission specialist, who had tilted the
>>telescope down to the surface for a minute or two, called the
>>Commander to the scope.
>>
>>"Have a look at this Sir, isn't this the kinda flying you said you
>>wanted to do after you finish up with NASA?" The Commander peered
>>through the telescope and cried "Ooooohhhhh yeah! Now THAT'S
>>flying! Man, that's what its all about! Geez I'd give my left nut
>>just to be doing THAT down there!"
>>
>>What the Discovery Commander was looking at was a Cessna 150 in the
>>pattern at a quiet country airfield on a nice bright sunny
>>afternoon.
>>

Get to the next job as soon as u can and don't waste time.........don't worry about anything else in your life....it should be priority number 1 and should recieve 110% effort.....

[Dockjock]

The Perfect Post. Your keyboard will be raised to the rafters at the appropriate time.

[sprucemonkey]

I hear music. It’s playing, and pilots are starting the moving dance everywhere.

6. Take a really good look…

…at the people around you if you currently work in places far from civilization as we know it. There are three types of "senior" pilots in such places:
A. The people who actually want to be there. Usually the really good people with great flying skills and a wealth of aviation knowledge second to none. Kudos to this entire breed, as they are the special few that keep the north safe from type B.
B. The people who couldn’t get a job anywhere else once they got there. Usually dangerous misfits with a chip on their shoulder. Rumours of incompetence travel faster than light in this small industry, and this group are the fu*kups who probably shouldn’t have been flying for a living in the first place. They often become cp’s and ops managers.
C. The people who forgot to go when they could have, and ended up stuck when the music stopped. Usually not very happy, and divorced. Very bitter.

"Uh, where'd the airport go?"
"Its hiding behind the ISLAND in front of US!!"
"Oh sh!t."

Category 'B'.

I'll never let this one go......


Category 'B'.

[Dark Helmet]

3. The Golden Rule of aviation is this:

When no one is hiring, your time is never good enough.
Not enough total time, twin time, glass time, pic time, time on type, northern time, southern time, big airport time, small airport time, turbine time, piston time, down on your knees time, sucking up time, wannabe time, working as the ops manager’s wife’s sex slave time. Whatever. No current PPC on type and no 4000hrs having done exactly what they do already, no job so fargthehell off and stop calling me.

When everyone is hiring, whatever time you have will do just fine. Licence, medical, good demeanor, all your teeth, good enough. So go already while they still like you.

Man, that is sooo true!! Good post.

[Spiraldive]

Spruce,

Hehe. Type b. for sure.