Must be getting near the end of the season

Boss Hawg · Post by **Boss Hawg** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 11:52 am

because I'm getting real tired of answering the same questions over and over.

How's the fishing?
What's the weather supposed to be?
Are you old enough to fly? (i'm 30 but I guess I look like I'm 12?)
What are the water levels?
What do you do in winter?
Is $100 enough for a tip? (actually I've never been asked that)
Any retarded reference (in a beaver) to where is the stewardess, what's the in flight movie, when are we serving peanuts etc. Do these people really think we've never heard these lame jokes before?
Do you want to fly commercially some day?

Anybody else ever had a front seat passenger stare at you, like full on not take their eyes off you, for the entire flight?

And what's up with these guys who pack everything in big hard sided rubbermaid totes and action packers then hand you their bread in a plastic grocery bag and say here, don't squish this. It'd almost be funny except that it happens ALL THE TIME!

Rant over. I feel better. Anybody need a cargo pilot for the winter?

What does everybody else get asked over and over?

Cat Driver · Post by **Cat Driver** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 12:13 pm

What do you do in winter?

I used to tell them I spend the winter huntin and fuckin.

They would ask me where I live and I would answer Toronto.

They would ask what do you hunt in Toronto?

I would answer, something to @#$!.

That ends the questions.

Radial · Post by **Radial** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 2:10 pm

Boss Hawg, glad to hear you're having a good season, make it a safe one. Cat driver, that may be the funniest thing I've seen on here. Huntin and fuckin.....wish I had used that reply!

Northern Skies · Post by **Northern Skies** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:24 pm

Good one cat, I'm going to use it.

The other day I was flying over the most obvious, active clearcut in the area. Skidders and trucks all over the place. Right seat passenger taps me on the shoulder and informs me with a straight, confident face: "Hey. They're logging down there."

kingeddie · Post by **kingeddie** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:50 pm

One day I slid up to a dock with 300 hours in my logbook my new raybans on feeling like the best thing since canned beer in my clapped out old 180 .. And there on the dock stood my passenger a middle aged lady named Irene . I greeted her politely and told her I would be flying her out that day .. She looked at me and said " Not likely kid I ve got stuff in my fridge older than you" Wow top that

sky's the limit · Post by **sky's the limit** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:53 pm

10.2hrs today, and I hear you Hawg, just not tourists for me though, I get the "professionals...." Whatever THAT is supposed to mean b/c as near as I can tell, none of them know anything about anything.

11days and counting... it's like a Bond movie in my head.

stl

zero · Post by **zero** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:00 pm

Got asked by a Dutchman last week what they cut the wood for, after I explained to him what a clearcut was...guess they don't use lumber and paper in Holland.

Must be getting close Boss, felt like a typical winter day on the wet coast minus the wind...rain, mist and fog.

phillyfan · Post by **phillyfan** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:53 pm

Ever had them start swinging at bugs on the Beaver windshield and catch there sleeve on the mixture 100 feet over the trees.
Damn tourists.

shimmydampner · Post by **shimmydampner** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:58 pm

I get all the standard stupid funny-guy routine questions about the in-flight movie, flight attendants, blah blah blah. The most annoying however was back in my dockhand days when we'd have to turn the prop through on the polish Otter......."Make sure ya wyand that rubber byand up good nah!" Congratu-f*ckin-lations: you're the 100th dipshit to say that to me this month!!

boozy · Post by **boozy** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:21 pm

Oh shit, Im glad I squeezed in before this one was said. Everytime you manage to dock the plane without hitting anything...either the guys in the plane or the pinstripe whistlers on the dock go...

"hooo weee...looks like yuv dun that b'fore"

I don't even know what to say to that. I can't think of anything funny for that one. Anyone have a good retort for that anyway.

Rowdy · Post by **Rowdy** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 11:15 pm

I continuously get:

So How long Ya'll beeeeeeen flyyyyyin? or "had yer licence?"

"Ummm... *strange confused look* licence?!? you don't need a licence to fly americans eh"

Ya'll see a lot of moose flyin?

Yer just buildin up yer hours to fly the jets raaaiigghhtt?

Do you fix that plane yerself?

Or my all time favorite.. some random goof of the group comes up to the pilots as we're helpin each other load and asks.. "So which way is ________ lake anyways?!?!"

we all kind of look at each other then point in different directions.

Four1oh · Post by **Four1oh** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 11:47 pm

thanks for the smile guys, brought back some memories.

Rudder Bug · Post by **Rudder Bug** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 6:30 am

Ya'll see a lot of moose flyin?

That's by far my favorite one. My answer is "So far I've always seen them on the ground but we might get lucky and see one flying today".

mikegtzg · Post by **mikegtzg** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 7:39 am

Lighten up people! Those lame jokes or wise cracks that you heard 100 times before are coming from your customers. Yes the jokes on Westjet are getting lame to the customers as well...should the customers start complaining about the flight crews jokes?

Complain about real stuff eh!

sarg · Post by **sarg** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 7:48 am

My favorite response to the inflight movie question varied between Alive or one of the Airport movies.

180 · Post by **180** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:19 am

Do you want to be a commercial pilot some day?

Beaver Driver · Post by **Beaver Driver** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:39 am

I generaly try to come up with a smart ass answer.

Q: Look's like you've done that before?
A: Hell, that's not even the first time today!

Q: What do you do in the winter?
A: Paperwork (I think I'll start using Cat's line now though)

Q: What's the inflight movie?
A: "The Edge", you know, the one where the Beaver crashes and all the passengers get eaten by a bear.

Northern Skies · Post by **Northern Skies** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 9:31 am

pax: "That was a perrdy good landing thar"

pilot: "really? you should see me when I'm sober"

shimmydampener: did you work at LSA?

Mr. North · Post by **Mr. North** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:57 am

Sure the questions get old but it gives you a chance to practice the perfect comedic response...

My favorite zinger,

"How long ya been fly'in boi?"

"Since this morning! But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!"

sky's the limit · Post by **sky's the limit** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 11:21 am

mikegtzg wrote:Lighten up people! Those lame jokes or wise cracks that you heard 100 times before are coming from your customers. Yes the jokes on Westjet are getting lame to the customers as well...should the customers start complaining about the flight crews jokes?

Complain about real stuff eh!

The jokes on WJ were lame from DAY ONE.... Enough said.

When you hear enough of the same shit coming from customers day in, and day out, it gets old regardless who's paying. And on THAT subject, when the "customers" start paying about 150% of current Charter rates, MAYBE then I'll put up with a bit more. But until then, nope. Most of these guys will will take the cheapest machine in the air, and in my opinion that doesn't buy the rights to smartass comments.

My only saving grace these days is that I can throw them all in net and sling them.... OK, maybe not, but I sure wish I could!

stl

MUSKEG · Post by **MUSKEG** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:18 pm

Question. How many hours ya have there pard?
Answer. Including this flight.
Instant silence,
Sorry the intercoms broken.

phillyfan · Post by **phillyfan** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 6:00 pm

I tried a new one this season. I tell them before we even start loading that "Transport Canada regulations prohibit passengers from distracting Flight crew members on duty, whether it be verbally or physically." I also don't provide headsets to anyone. Just earplugs.

cloudrunner · Post by **cloudrunner** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 7:10 pm

Whenever they ask "So how long you been doin this...?"

I always start counting on my fingers saying" let's see.. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday....."

The Other Kind · Post by **The Other Kind** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:06 pm

If someone commented about one of the younger looking pilots on the dock, I used to tell them;

"Don't worry if he holds his licence out the window during the flight, he's just tryin' to get the ink to dry."

Meecka · Post by **Meecka** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:07 pm

Not a Pilot here, but when I used to work on a plane at the dock, or now for that matter since we seem to have an "open door" policy for any shmo that wants to waddle in the hangar doors... they love to ask me "You fix airplanes?" with a look of utter shock on their faces. Response: Fiiiiixxxx? Oh is that what I'm supposed to be doing with these shinny things... I was just looking for my nail file!