Dear Aircraft Operators:
There are two things that we hard working ATS personnel appreciate and need from you. They are pilots who are either handsome or have a genuinely nice personalty. We do not require them to be Brad Pitt, but that their overall weight is less than that of John Goodman. After a long shift, talking to Andrew Dice Clay is most distressing. When they have three chins and an *ss the size of a standard African hippo, it takes away your will to live. If they also had a personality that would be a bonus. We NAVCANADA employees are happy to accept a "heavy" if he exudes happiness and a genuine effort to help us. Unfortunately, most of the pilots hired in Canada look like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, plus they have the personality of a troll. Please rectify this situation in your future hiring. If needed, I am sure that you could find a willing FSS or ATC to "prescreen" all pilot applicants.
PS: If you are planning on flying into an airport served by NAVCANADA personnel, please send a photograph of every pilot in your employ to the affected site when filing your flight plan.
An open letter to the FBO's of Canada
Moderators: North Shore, sky's the limit, sepia, Sulako, lilfssister, I WAS Birddog
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lilfssister
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Northern Girl
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Cat Driver
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How in f.ck did I get brought into this conversation, my main reason for being here is to give advice about flying and fixing airplanes.....
...But now that I have mentioned in this, here are my thoughts on the subject.
Orville and Wilbur Wright started this flying thing, so when faced with a challenge interfacing with the opposite gender after exiting one of the Wright Brothers inventions we then look to the invention that was given to us by Thomas Edison...what I do is just turn it off and I can't tell the difference between them...
There, how did I do girls???
Cat
...But now that I have mentioned in this, here are my thoughts on the subject.
Orville and Wilbur Wright started this flying thing, so when faced with a challenge interfacing with the opposite gender after exiting one of the Wright Brothers inventions we then look to the invention that was given to us by Thomas Edison...what I do is just turn it off and I can't tell the difference between them...
There, how did I do girls???
Cat
The hardest thing about flying is knowing when to say no
After over a half a century of flying no one ever died because of my decision not to fly.
After over a half a century of flying no one ever died because of my decision not to fly.
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Takeoffpower
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I love these women. They are the spirit to my flying. There Sweaty camel toes and ingrown hairs make me just wan't to soar to the sky as fast as i can. Where you really have to watch them is when you have gone to Tims' in the morning to pick up your donuts for the day and you are cover in the scent of lard. They are likely to mistake you for a cream filled long john and pounce on you like a horny elephant seal....I find that a good shot of Prist to the face usually keeps them at bay....
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southbound
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it's important to understand that having an attractive CSR gal is as much a safety concern as it is customer service concern. Picture this......a lonely handsome pilot comes into the airport after flying all night, braving the harshest wx for the sake of humanity. He gets out of his a/c and wearily walks in to the FBO...at this time all he wants to do is be greeted by a cute little vixen behind the counter....saying " welcome to our sweet little FBO, how can we make your stay more enjoyable sir" The handsome pilot looks at her and thinks..."ya I'll stay, I am feelin' a little tired". At this time folks a tragedy has been averted because of a cute little vixen that may not have been very smart but was very sweet.
Now, picture the same scenario but the handsome young pilot meanders into the FBO and sees the big ole' girl behind the counter with a boston cream in one hand and big slice of pepperoni pizza in the other. After she tells him that the taxi service in town has stopped for the night and that she would more than happy to drive him to the KFC for dinner because they have the 22 piece on special. He looks at her and says but havent you already eaten?????? Her eyes widden with anticipation as she describes the taste of the 11 herbs and spices, how she can feel the sopping wet greasy chicken skin slid past her lips and down her throat. At this point her forhead begins to bead with sweat as she becomes very focused on her KFC fantasy......her eyes glass over as she fantasizes about each fry being dipped into the gravy.
The handsome pilot realizes that if he doesn't get back into his a/c and launch into the nasty wx from wenst he came that she may have her way with him before sun up.
This folks is why the caliber of FBO CSR'S is so important.......please, we are begging you, consider our safety first.
Southbound
Now, picture the same scenario but the handsome young pilot meanders into the FBO and sees the big ole' girl behind the counter with a boston cream in one hand and big slice of pepperoni pizza in the other. After she tells him that the taxi service in town has stopped for the night and that she would more than happy to drive him to the KFC for dinner because they have the 22 piece on special. He looks at her and says but havent you already eaten?????? Her eyes widden with anticipation as she describes the taste of the 11 herbs and spices, how she can feel the sopping wet greasy chicken skin slid past her lips and down her throat. At this point her forhead begins to bead with sweat as she becomes very focused on her KFC fantasy......her eyes glass over as she fantasizes about each fry being dipped into the gravy.
The handsome pilot realizes that if he doesn't get back into his a/c and launch into the nasty wx from wenst he came that she may have her way with him before sun up.
This folks is why the caliber of FBO CSR'S is so important.......please, we are begging you, consider our safety first.
Southbound
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tailgunner
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Girls,Girls,Girls..
When i first expressed my concerns, my intenet was not to insult the FINE female pilots, ATS, FSS, girls.My intenet was to insult CSR girls!!
(whom,as luck will have it, do not often get on this site!!)
I appreaciate your concerns about the average male pilot. We are generally nerds! Our biggest dates in High School were with the palm sisters! Our idea of a blind date was to pull a touque down over our eyes and switch grips!!
But pilots are not supposed to be hired for our looks ( that is why there are cockpit doors on A/C), CSR girls should be!!
Generally our CSR girls could all fit that famous East German mantra--"thighs like rhino, Strong like Bull'.
I have flown to places all over the US and Europe, and their CSR girls are, quite frankly and depressingly, a step above what we get in Canada. As Southbound pointed out, our CSR girls could double as an A/C tug! If we took 5 Average CSR girls each from CANADA, US and Europe ours would place 10th,11th,12th,13th,14,and15!,however our girls unibrow would be unrivalled!!
When i first expressed my concerns, my intenet was not to insult the FINE female pilots, ATS, FSS, girls.My intenet was to insult CSR girls!!
(whom,as luck will have it, do not often get on this site!!)I appreaciate your concerns about the average male pilot. We are generally nerds! Our biggest dates in High School were with the palm sisters! Our idea of a blind date was to pull a touque down over our eyes and switch grips!!
But pilots are not supposed to be hired for our looks ( that is why there are cockpit doors on A/C), CSR girls should be!!Generally our CSR girls could all fit that famous East German mantra--"thighs like rhino, Strong like Bull'.
I have flown to places all over the US and Europe, and their CSR girls are, quite frankly and depressingly, a step above what we get in Canada. As Southbound pointed out, our CSR girls could double as an A/C tug! If we took 5 Average CSR girls each from CANADA, US and Europe ours would place 10th,11th,12th,13th,14,and15!,however our girls unibrow would be unrivalled!!
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lilfssister
- Rank Moderator
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Cat:
I'll give you 7 out of 10 for your post.
tailgunner:
Okay, remove all my cut and paste regarding looks...leave in the personailty bits, being cheerful and helpful...that's all we have to go by anyway, since we rarely see a pilot these days. You could all look like Brad Pitt for all we know.
Makes it sort of like Cat turning out the lights: you all look the same through the radio.
I'll give you 7 out of 10 for your post.
tailgunner:
Okay, remove all my cut and paste regarding looks...leave in the personailty bits, being cheerful and helpful...that's all we have to go by anyway, since we rarely see a pilot these days. You could all look like Brad Pitt for all we know.
Makes it sort of like Cat turning out the lights: you all look the same through the radio.
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Mitch Cronin
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- Location: Right beside my dog again...
