Family Issues: What is the effect on your aviation career?

[Liquid Charlie]

So you have to ask yourself is it aviation or personality types. There are a lot of professions out there where people travel and work away from home and yes likely for more extended times than pilots. I know aviation had nothing to do with my marriage break down -- simply put I was a confirmed bachelor who went on an 8 year sabbatical - I think there as as many marriages go south when you are home every night -- damn u just get sick of looking at each other -- lol -- sometimes it just boils down to misery likes company -- lots of people pretend they have a good marriage - most don't -- don't get me wrong -- I'm by no means bitter -- just observations of many people I know and have known over the years --

[SkyWolfe]

Good post and advice El Comat. If I had waited for my career to blossom before having kids, they would have had an aged father.

I know that feeling too - the sooner you start the healthier your baby will be as well - The longer you wait the more chances you can have that things will go wrong...

But my boy is so young I don't think he will remember these days anyway

[pw308]

You definately need someone with a lot of patience and understanding to stand by you. I can say that just getting through my flight training while working full time was a testament to my families.

[Flybabe]

Honestly, I think "waiting until the time is right" is a pretty lame excuse. It boils down to priorities. If you aren't interested in a relationship, admit it. There certainly isn't anything wrong with that. If flying is your immediate #1 concern, that's fine. Just be honest with yourself.

I wish people took more responsibility in their lives instead of sugar coating things or blaming it on someone else.

Not meant to offend, folks! I'm single because I want to be and my work is more important at the moment. That, and I haven't met anyone that can put up with me

[N2]

Myself, I put much more emphasis on my relationship than I do any job!

[bandaid]

Though I can't really relate to the life of a pilot I can shed some light on working a career where you are away or called away on a seconds notice. I have been a paramedic now for 29 years full time. Due to the schedule we worked I missed a lot of the more important events in my families life. Even now with the children all grown up and on there own I can still go weeks where I don't see a lot of my wife (some might say wedded bliss but I love spending time with her). Over the years it has lead to some tension in our marriage but many more times she has been my sounding board after a particularly bad day and picks me up, dusts me off, and reminds me why I am in this career.
I think that the bottom line is that it is so much easier to just give up and run to lawyers then it is to remember what brought you together in the first place. Life is too short and it is definitely too short to be in a bad marriage. I remember saying almost those exact words to my then fiance ( I think the exact words were "life is too short for bitchy women"). She married me anyways and despite my often absence from my family at very important times during which I am sure she would have loved to have me around (see I was the disciplinarian in the family) and we have been married 30 years in May.
If I could offer any advice (and I think I have earned the right after 30 years), chose carefully, be honest and spend as much of your off time together as you can. Don't blink, it will be over and you will be like me, wondering where the years went.

[iflyforpie]

I met my future wife two weeks into my PPL training. I finished my CPL the year after we got married and I flew my first job one month after the birth of our son and two months after buying our first house.

Looking back I can't believe what I managed to accomplish in those three short years but I also gave up a lot in the last five. Having a family to support on a single income made it impossible for me to pick the first low-paying pilot job that came along. I did mostly maintenance for a couple years (ironically the 'boom' years). I did have a few delusions of grandeur of flying up north with through the various contacts I made through doing maintenance, but decided that would be too much to ask of my growing family. We endured a few separations while I worked various places before we moved and after the last one I decided I really don't want to 'advance' in my aviation career further unless it is an easy or necessary step. Besides, this job is too much fun!

So here I am at 30, my youngest just turned 3 today, I am home every night and I have lots of time off to spend with family the rest of the year other than June, July, and August.

[mattedfred]

i've been with my partner since before i got my PPL so she doesn't know any different. although we were educated in different cities for a time and have moved around alot, we have been able to live together since the second semester of our first year of post secondary school. we just made it a priority. i even convinced my first boss to hire her so we could stay together. i think if your wife is your best friend then it is easy to decide what your priorities are.