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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:12 am 
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PC: As I recall the pilot of the twin was one of your controllers and he had a long history of that sort of thing. He parked his BE-18 in front of the flying club one night and in the morning my secretary looked out the front window and remarked "Look, Norm's airplane is laying eggs"...Coors cans!

I do believe that he pulled the big moon one day with the Minister of Transport getting out of the Jetstar...and of course the controllers had nothing to do with plastering the infamous bumperstickers on the Jetstar..."English is the International Language of Aviation" with the Beaver throttling the little green animal from the swamp.

Barney



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:24 pm 
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Location: Gone sailing...
Hello Barney! I think I`ve got you now. At first I thought you were the `Barney Rubble`that was part of the “breakfast” cooked on the carpet of the RFC on a few occasions, along with our blind air traffic controller and another pilot, but a review of your previous posts straighened that out. It’s been a long time!

No, I didn’t think it was the BE-18 that did the moon job on Snowflake, but it certainly could have been the same pilot/BE-18 owner. I thought that a/c was a more reputable type such as a Cessna or Navajo, and possibly flown by another ATC (terminal) type.

I’ll pm you, but I was there for that infamous attack on the Minister of Transport’s (Otto Lang as I recall) jet that night. I don’t recall my exact duties, and don`t recall who the driver of the get-away Cherokee was!


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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 2:56 pm 
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Then there was the time the ATCer in the cojo seat arrived, dawg tired, jet lagged and hungry at customs in AU. The customs dude comes aboard, complete with moustache, military shirt, shorts, stockings, highly polished shoes and the clipboard with 400 questions.
name...,postal code...,sin...,mother's name...,purpose of trip...,money on hand...etc etc.
Gets down to "Do you have a criminal record?"

"No...didn't realize it was still a prerequisite"

oops



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:18 pm 
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I was taxiing to the active with a Dash-8 and a Caravan. Both other aircraft have very very similar callsigns and the controller had already mixed them up a few times.

"ABC... JEEEEEEESSSSUUSSS CCCHHHHRRRIIIIIIIIIIISSSTTTT! ABDC...."

A buddy and I had a good laugh while taxiing out. I can't blame the guy for getting frustrated though!



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 11:14 am 
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Deadly hazard reported on final:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9wxGRdwexg


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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 2:24 am 
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Working the Muskoka RAAS one busy summer day.

Ontario Provincial Police A-Star: "Timmins(YTS) Radio, This is XXXX, 8 N Low level southbound into the zone"
ME: " XXXX, YTS Radio, Active runway is 36 two aircraft in the circuit, and one about to depart on a local flight westbound, what are your intentions"
OPP A-Star: "Standby one"
......
ME: "XXXX PA28 airborne now heading towards lake muskoka, are you inbound for landing?...what are your intentions?"
OPP A-Star: " YTS Radio, this is XXXX, we are not landing , we are on drugs"

After I had a good chuckle I got my supervisor to save that one...

In YTS my buddy working, has a BE20 taxing for a VFR training flight:

YTS Radio:" Voyageur Trainer one, active rwy 03 Navajo on 2 mile fnl, Caravan 10 North inbound for the left downwind"
VAL01T: " roger we have the HO in site and we check the VAN inbound, holding short of 03 for now"


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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 4:52 am 
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Another one my buddy had....

working the position


Radio: "thunder 105 request you hold in position, there is a moose crossing at the intersection .....intentions unknown.."
THU105:" Roger...we aren't talking to him either so we'll hold"


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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:43 pm 
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Here' a couple out of the unofficial log of CYAM off their tower website

GABC on his way to the new hanger via Golf and Charlie stops on the apron and requests. " Ground, can I stop here and drop one!" Ground... "Sure.... Does it smell?"



" Sir was that landing intentional or were you shot down!!"



"Tower Cardinal N1234 ....I'm on my way in to CIU what are your winds in Canada?" ...Tower.." Well I can't speak for all of Canada, but in my little corner they're 240 @ 5 ."




Digging for braking action reports....

"ABC Tower, did you use the brakes at all?"

"No Tower, but the captain says that if he would have used the brakes, it would have been poor." ???



This is the best one that I've ever heard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1999

"Soo Ground, FHTU is on the ramp, request taxi to the active for some airwork at the VOR".

" FHTU, Soo ground, runway 12, winds 360/7, altimeter 2960, taxi foxtrot to runway 12".

............." Soo ground, is runway 30 plowed?, because we'd like runway 30".

" FHTU Soo ground, runway 30 is not plowed but runway 12 is!".

" Roger Soo Ground, we'll take runway 12 then."


Check out the Sault Tower website at http://members.shaw.ca/djcat/ for a few other funny transmissions and a nice tower history of CYAM.



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:11 pm 
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ACA516: Any ride reports this morning?

Controller: Nope, no complaints at all.

ACA516: Can we start?

C: I'd kinda rather you didn't!



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:16 pm 
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The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty--do a complete circle, a move normally used to provide spacing between aircraft.
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Don't you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make even a one-eighty in this airplane?"
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars' worth."
======
Billund ATC: Gliders 82 and D5, state position and altitude?
82: Overhead Coal Lake, 6400 feet.
D5: Same position, same altitude.
ATC (cool, dry voice): So should I go get my collision report form ?
======
Several planes were running up and waiting to take off, many Cessna's including a 337. With all the students and several similar call signs, the controllers were getting a tad confused. The controller finally asked: "Cessna 123YZ, are you the Skymaster?"

A slightly confused voice with an indeterminate accent replied, after a moment, "Well, my instructor says that I am very good, but I do not think that I would yet be considered the 'Skymaster.'"
======
A crew in a Baron was taxiing at LAX back in the sixties and encountered one of the (then) new 747's. Both pilot and co- were all eyes as both aircraft approached the same intersection.
Baron: Uh, ATC, verify you want me to taxi in front of the 747.
ATC: Yeah, it's OK. He's not hungry.
======
A C152 pilot was asked to report his height prior to clearance to enter the zone, replied: "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred", upon which the Controller very smartly replied, "Roger, prepare to fire retro-rockets and re-enter the atmosphere!"
======
C-150: Tower this is N-1234 can you give us a ground speed please?
Tower: Roger N-1234 we show you at 110 knots
Mooney: (Showing off a bit) tower this is N-5678 can you give US a ground speed please?
Tower: Roger that N-5678 we show you at 201 knots
F-18: (Showing off a lot and said with a Texas drawl). Heh Heh.. tower how about XXXX, can you give US a ground speed please?
Tower: Roger XXXX we show you at 580 knots.
... then in a distant crackly voice,
"Tower, we'd like a ground speed too please..."
Tower: Ummmm ahhh .... must be something wrong with our equipment here, I show you at 1500 knots sir.
"No sir, this is a SR-71. Thank you for the reading."
======
Another student, a not too bright woman, was coming in for a landing. The radio in the FBO was set to the ground freq. It seems that she landed on the taxi way.
The ground controller told her, "please call 555-9876 after you park the plane".
She answered, "No thank you sir, I'm already married."
======
Cessna: Bay Approach, Cessna 12345 over South County Airport at four thousand feet, request permission to land at San Jose.
Bay Approach: Cessna 12345, Squawk 4567, and do you have Hotel? (the current SJC ATIS)
Cessna: Negative, we're going to stay with my sister-in-law.
American 123: Does your sister-in-law have any extra rooms?
======

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:27 pm 
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ATC: Jazz 123, what are your intentions?
Jazz 123: Honorable of course, we are canceling IFR!



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:23 pm 
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pilot holding short of a runway curious what he was waiting for says, "tower is there a reason why im holding short?".
tower says, "i can give you about 10 reasons"
the pilot quickly replied "ready to copy number 1"
...twr was not impressed



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 9:37 am 
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Overheard @ CYEG

Controller:

"FABC Edmonton Centre, good day, International ATIS. "Vagina"

oops...



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 3:35 pm 
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AlbertaBoy wrote:
Overheard @ CYEG

Controller:

"FABC Edmonton Centre, good day, International ATIS. "Vagina"

oops...



Funny 'cause it's true!!



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 5:27 pm 
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During the late '60s I was teaching at the CAF ATC School a YBN and would take my students to YYZ Tower and Centre on tours. Got to know the tower controllers quite well and as I frequently flew into the "Big Smoke" in the old C150, they tagged me with the call sign "Whiskey Blue"...easier than saying the ident...and the standard clearance was "cleared to Terminal 2, 500' and wait for it".

Going up to the north end could be a taxi nightmare so..."Whiskey Blue cleared to land 32 keep the speed up and land long exit the end"

One day I got the "standard" pointed it down the runway as an AC Diesel 8 was clearing with an American 707 by the beacon...the southern drawl..."You all callin' a bit close tower"

The guy in the tower came right back with..."We know his capabilities but not to certain about yours'''continue the approach"

Of course the Air Canada guy heard this and a few other comments were exchanged but I was too busy trying to land and laugh at the same time.



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:22 am 
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Location: of my mind is in gutter.
whiteguy wrote:
My favorite..

ATC: "Delta 1234, say air speed."

Delta: "Air speed"

ATC: "Delta 1234, say altitude"

Delta: "Altitude"

ATC: "Delta 1234, say Cancel IFR"

Delta: "240 kts, 14000 ft"


This is probably my favourite, 'course I'd wait til he's below 12500' to say the last part.


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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:24 am 
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Location: of my mind is in gutter.
parrot_head wrote:
AlbertaBoy wrote:
Overheard @ CYEG

Controller:

"FABC Edmonton Centre, good day, International ATIS. "Vagina"

oops...



Funny 'cause it's true!!


Yup. Know the fella. Some guys even went as far as to make a clip of that and put it on their phone as a ringtone. Priceless.


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Turn right/left heading XXX, vectors for the hell of it.


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 Post subject: Tower confuse
PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:55 am 
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After landing we contact the tower just to let them know that we encountered a little windshear of about +- 10 kts on final approach at about 200 ft. She then asked: '' was it 200 ft AGL or ASL ? The field elevation is 250 ' That was hilarious....I almost replied :''If it was ASL we would not have called you.......... !!!


So funny.



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 3:37 pm 
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This one is my favorite so far:

Controller: ABC radar service is terminated, cleared enroute
Pilot: ABC thanks, have a good day
Contoller: Sorry, I’ve got other plans!

I found it here:
http://atchappenings.blogspot.com/2010/ ... tions.html



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:26 am 
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During my training/working in California (KCCR) we had a spanish student who was weak in english (ha perished in an accident later...), he was arguing with the instructor and then called Concord ground with this statement: CCR Ground, this is Helicopter 2021G with INformation f#$% you!, whereupon the INSTRUCTOR quickly keyed the mike and yelled Its FOXTROT ITS FOXTROT!!

we had a good chuckle that is for sure.

Also had apache attack helicopters call too close for misiles in the circuit with 5 schweizer 300s...



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:51 am 
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To the best of my recolection an exchange between an
Air Nova pilot and female YHZ terminal controller.

"Halifax terminal Air Nova 851, we're getting some turbulence
here at one six thousand, can you do us a favor and give us
lower?"

"Air Nova 851, the last time I did an Air Nova pilot a favor
I was on pennicillin for 2 weeks, but your cleared to six thousand."



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:39 am 
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Some of you older YYZ types will remember CKEY traffic reporter/pilot Bob Rice who flew a bright red C337 years ago. I was in the YYZ tower one day in the late 70s doing some kind of B.S. survey for my former employer, Transport Canada. Bob was well known to the Toronto tower staff; one day he calls in on tower freq and requests a low approach on runway 32 (now 33R). Traffic is slow and he he gets the clearance. We are all looking to the south and finally pick up his brightly coloured airplane visually. As he approaches Hwy 401, it is apparent that he is not lined up on runway heading, but is headed straight for the tower. The controller working tower freq (perhaps the chief) sees what is about to happen, leaps up onto the console, drops his pants and underwear and positions his 'moon' as close to the glass as he can. Seconds later, Bob's airplane passes by the tower, at cab level, his left wingtip not more than 50 feet from the glass.

We all had a good laugh about that one, except for the poor female ATC assistant working the 'strips' at her position in close proximity to the tower controller. Ah, the good old days !!



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 10:30 am 
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Happened 2 years ago in canadian airspace, shitty wx. One of those days where its all over the place with deviations.
Was behind Speedbird 747 going into a major canadian airport (won't name it).

Arrival: Speedbird123 descend to 9000 expect ILS 23 speed 240 knots.
Speedbird: Roger cleared to 9000 speed 240 (with the usual perky british accent)

Few minutes later

Speedbird (getting concerned): Level at 9000 requesting lower sir.
Arrival: Yes sir speedbird123 won't be long.
1 minute later
Arrival: Speedbird123 decend 4 thousand
Arrival: Speedbird123 cleared ILS 23, contact tower.
Speedbird: (Clearly angered) Speedbird123 going around... go ahead chap pull up (speaking to his f/o still with the keyed mic)

Arrival: Speedbird123 i realize you were only slightly above glide slope don't you have spoilers for that?
Speedbird: (promptly) Yes we do but they're for our mistakes not yours!!

Quiet on the radio for 30 seconds, I couldn't stop laughing. Only that since I've started flying heavy aircraft do I understand his frustration now. Won't forget that radio chatter though.



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 10:28 pm 
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Location: Around
KD414: "Vancouver kd414 over X 2,000ft inbound"

YVR:" kd414 don't have you on radar yet, we just changed the monitures to new rectangular screens so we cant see out as far in your direction call at Y"

KD414 "touch screen or buttons and nobs still?"

Pasco I think. " ... all the nobs are in airplanes"



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 Post subject: Re: ATC encounters
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 9:47 am 
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Really hot, humid summer day at CYKZ.

CYKZ Tower: "Hot enough out there for ya?"
C172 Pilot: "Too hot! Up at 5000' it's not bad though"
CYKZ Tower: "Ya, I bet. 50' with an air conditioner isn't bad either"



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