I do believe that he pulled the big moon one day with the Minister of Transport getting out of the Jetstar...and of course the controllers had nothing to do with plastering the infamous bumperstickers on the Jetstar..."English is the International Language of Aviation" with the Beaver throttling the little green animal from the swamp.
No, I didn’t think it was the BE-18 that did the moon job on Snowflake, but it certainly could have been the same pilot/BE-18 owner. I thought that a/c was a more reputable type such as a Cessna or Navajo, and possibly flown by another ATC (terminal) type.
I’ll pm you, but I was there for that infamous attack on the Minister of Transport’s (Otto Lang as I recall) jet that night. I don’t recall my exact duties, and don`t recall who the driver of the get-away Cherokee was!
name...,postal code...,sin...,mother's name...,purpose of trip...,money on hand...etc etc.
Gets down to "Do you have a criminal record?"
"No...didn't realize it was still a prerequisite"
"ABC... JEEEEEEESSSSUUSSS CCCHHHHRRRIIIIIIIIIIISSSTTTT! ABDC...."
A buddy and I had a good laugh while taxiing out. I can't blame the guy for getting frustrated though!
Ontario Provincial Police A-Star: "Timmins(YTS) Radio, This is XXXX, 8 N Low level southbound into the zone"
ME: " XXXX, YTS Radio, Active runway is 36 two aircraft in the circuit, and one about to depart on a local flight westbound, what are your intentions"
OPP A-Star: "Standby one"
ME: "XXXX PA28 airborne now heading towards lake muskoka, are you inbound for landing?...what are your intentions?"
OPP A-Star: " YTS Radio, this is XXXX, we are not landing , we are on drugs"
After I had a good chuckle I got my supervisor to save that one...
In YTS my buddy working, has a BE20 taxing for a VFR training flight:
YTS Radio:" Voyageur Trainer one, active rwy 03 Navajo on 2 mile fnl, Caravan 10 North inbound for the left downwind"
VAL01T: " roger we have the HO in site and we check the VAN inbound, holding short of 03 for now"
Glider Instructor Pilot
ACGP Standards Pilot
working the position
Radio: "thunder 105 request you hold in position, there is a moose crossing at the intersection .....intentions unknown.."
THU105:" Roger...we aren't talking to him either so we'll hold"
Glider Instructor Pilot
ACGP Standards Pilot
GABC on his way to the new hanger via Golf and Charlie stops on the apron and requests. " Ground, can I stop here and drop one!" Ground... "Sure.... Does it smell?"
" Sir was that landing intentional or were you shot down!!"
"Tower Cardinal N1234 ....I'm on my way in to CIU what are your winds in Canada?" ...Tower.." Well I can't speak for all of Canada, but in my little corner they're 240 @ 5 ."
Digging for braking action reports....
"ABC Tower, did you use the brakes at all?"
"No Tower, but the captain says that if he would have used the brakes, it would have been poor." ???
This is the best one that I've ever heard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Soo Ground, FHTU is on the ramp, request taxi to the active for some airwork at the VOR".
" FHTU, Soo ground, runway 12, winds 360/7, altimeter 2960, taxi foxtrot to runway 12".
............." Soo ground, is runway 30 plowed?, because we'd like runway 30".
" FHTU Soo ground, runway 30 is not plowed but runway 12 is!".
" Roger Soo Ground, we'll take runway 12 then."
Check out the Sault Tower website at http://members.shaw.ca/djcat/ for a few other funny transmissions and a nice tower history of CYAM.
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Don't you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make even a one-eighty in this airplane?"
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars' worth."
Billund ATC: Gliders 82 and D5, state position and altitude?
82: Overhead Coal Lake, 6400 feet.
D5: Same position, same altitude.
ATC (cool, dry voice): So should I go get my collision report form ?
Several planes were running up and waiting to take off, many Cessna's including a 337. With all the students and several similar call signs, the controllers were getting a tad confused. The controller finally asked: "Cessna 123YZ, are you the Skymaster?"
A slightly confused voice with an indeterminate accent replied, after a moment, "Well, my instructor says that I am very good, but I do not think that I would yet be considered the 'Skymaster.'"
A crew in a Baron was taxiing at LAX back in the sixties and encountered one of the (then) new 747's. Both pilot and co- were all eyes as both aircraft approached the same intersection.
Baron: Uh, ATC, verify you want me to taxi in front of the 747.
ATC: Yeah, it's OK. He's not hungry.
A C152 pilot was asked to report his height prior to clearance to enter the zone, replied: "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred", upon which the Controller very smartly replied, "Roger, prepare to fire retro-rockets and re-enter the atmosphere!"
C-150: Tower this is N-1234 can you give us a ground speed please?
Tower: Roger N-1234 we show you at 110 knots
Mooney: (Showing off a bit) tower this is N-5678 can you give US a ground speed please?
Tower: Roger that N-5678 we show you at 201 knots
F-18: (Showing off a lot and said with a Texas drawl). Heh Heh.. tower how about XXXX, can you give US a ground speed please?
Tower: Roger XXXX we show you at 580 knots.
... then in a distant crackly voice,
"Tower, we'd like a ground speed too please..."
Tower: Ummmm ahhh .... must be something wrong with our equipment here, I show you at 1500 knots sir.
"No sir, this is a SR-71. Thank you for the reading."
Another student, a not too bright woman, was coming in for a landing. The radio in the FBO was set to the ground freq. It seems that she landed on the taxi way.
The ground controller told her, "please call 555-9876 after you park the plane".
She answered, "No thank you sir, I'm already married."
Cessna: Bay Approach, Cessna 12345 over South County Airport at four thousand feet, request permission to land at San Jose.
Bay Approach: Cessna 12345, Squawk 4567, and do you have Hotel? (the current SJC ATIS)
Cessna: Negative, we're going to stay with my sister-in-law.
American 123: Does your sister-in-law have any extra rooms?
tower says, "i can give you about 10 reasons"
the pilot quickly replied "ready to copy number 1"
...twr was not impressed
Going up to the north end could be a taxi nightmare so..."Whiskey Blue cleared to land 32 keep the speed up and land long exit the end"
One day I got the "standard" pointed it down the runway as an AC Diesel 8 was clearing with an American 707 by the beacon...the southern drawl..."You all callin' a bit close tower"
The guy in the tower came right back with..."We know his capabilities but not to certain about yours'''continue the approach"
Of course the Air Canada guy heard this and a few other comments were exchanged but I was too busy trying to land and laugh at the same time.
This is probably my favourite, 'course I'd wait til he's below 12500' to say the last part.whiteguy wrote:My favorite..
ATC: "Delta 1234, say air speed."
Delta: "Air speed"
ATC: "Delta 1234, say altitude"
ATC: "Delta 1234, say Cancel IFR"
Delta: "240 kts, 14000 ft"
Yup. Know the fella. Some guys even went as far as to make a clip of that and put it on their phone as a ringtone. Priceless.parrot_head wrote:AlbertaBoy wrote:Overheard @ CYEG
"FABC Edmonton Centre, good day, International ATIS. "Vagina"
Funny 'cause it's true!!
Controller: ABC radar service is terminated, cleared enroute
Pilot: ABC thanks, have a good day
Contoller: Sorry, I’ve got other plans!
I found it here:
http://atchappenings.blogspot.com/2010/ ... tions.html
we had a good chuckle that is for sure.
Also had apache attack helicopters call too close for misiles in the circuit with 5 schweizer 300s...
Air Nova pilot and female YHZ terminal controller.
"Halifax terminal Air Nova 851, we're getting some turbulence
here at one six thousand, can you do us a favor and give us
"Air Nova 851, the last time I did an Air Nova pilot a favor
I was on pennicillin for 2 weeks, but your cleared to six thousand."
We all had a good laugh about that one, except for the poor female ATC assistant working the 'strips' at her position in close proximity to the tower controller. Ah, the good old days !!
Was behind Speedbird 747 going into a major canadian airport (won't name it).
Arrival: Speedbird123 descend to 9000 expect ILS 23 speed 240 knots.
Speedbird: Roger cleared to 9000 speed 240 (with the usual perky british accent)
Few minutes later
Speedbird (getting concerned): Level at 9000 requesting lower sir.
Arrival: Yes sir speedbird123 won't be long.
1 minute later
Arrival: Speedbird123 decend 4 thousand
Arrival: Speedbird123 cleared ILS 23, contact tower.
Speedbird: (Clearly angered) Speedbird123 going around... go ahead chap pull up (speaking to his f/o still with the keyed mic)
Arrival: Speedbird123 i realize you were only slightly above glide slope don't you have spoilers for that?
Speedbird: (promptly) Yes we do but they're for our mistakes not yours!!
Quiet on the radio for 30 seconds, I couldn't stop laughing. Only that since I've started flying heavy aircraft do I understand his frustration now. Won't forget that radio chatter though.
YVR:" kd414 don't have you on radar yet, we just changed the monitures to new rectangular screens so we cant see out as far in your direction call at Y"
KD414 "touch screen or buttons and nobs still?"
Pasco I think. " ... all the nobs are in airplanes"
CYKZ Tower: "Hot enough out there for ya?"
C172 Pilot: "Too hot! Up at 5000' it's not bad though"
CYKZ Tower: "Ya, I bet. 50' with an air conditioner isn't bad either"