Farm kid in the army.

[Tubthumper]

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once.. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,




Alice.

[THErampster]

haha this is awesome, "The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move"

[petite]

This joke always brings a smile to my face

[rigpiggy]

brings a new meaning to "yer Momma wears army boots"

[. ._]

Then I get my limbs blown off by an IED to make some multinational corporation rich or promote some B.S. political agenda.

[Invertago]

Then I get my limbs blown off by an IED to make some multinational corporation rich or promote some B.S. political agenda.

istp istp istp... this is a joke thread, don't make it into a serious political statement we were all getting along so nice right now

[. ._]

Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Had a few beers and started getting radical.

I still think signing a contract that says, "Your life is expendable" is a bad idea.

I did it before, and got out when I realized I made a theoretical mistake. (honourable discharge)

-Pte. ISTP

[Hedley]

istp: you joined up?

Reminds me of a friend of mine, who was an FAA Inspector ... for 3 weeks.

[Expat]

The slogan, when I was the CF:

"No life like it!"

No life like it, here now too...

[Invertago]

Back when I was CPL Invertago (Corporal, not Commercial Pilot License as I should clarify on this site) my SGT told us at the start of one course...


"Now, you have all heard of human rights, I want to set the record straight, I do not consider you human, therefore you have no rights"


And thus began a wonderful summer of military training.

[. ._]

istp: you joined up?

Reminds me of a friend of mine, who was an FAA Inspector ... for 3 weeks.

Yep. The deal was I was 17 and heard they'd let ya drink dollar beers. Pretty sweet!

Then I thought, "Hmm. I could theoretically get shot at, or be required to kill someone- both of which kind of rub me the wrong way."

So I quit.

Thus started my hippie anti-war phase which never really ended. I guess I have the Forces to thank for making me think that one through. I also got just the smallest taste of the brainwashing that goes on there. I felt proud and everything, but I also thought it would be a wonderful world if we just evolved a bit more and got rid of this tribal, hierarchical monkey thinking that we do.

It's a good thing it was just the reserves and not the reg forces. If I rebelled against the reg forces it probably would have turned me into a pothead!

-istp

[TG]

Black couple in Zimbabwe.

A black couple are huddled together under a thin blanket in a rat infested shack in the middle of Harare.
There is no water or electricity and they haven’t eaten for weeks.
They are slowly dying.
Suddenly there is a rumbling in the pipes and water starts to gush from the tap.
The light bulb flickers and then shines in the room.
They look out of the window and a truck in the street is handing out food.

“Get my AK47” shouts the guy “The bloody white men are back”

[VRC9170]

I don't understand all the anti-war hippy type enviro mother earth loving, anti population types.

On the one hand they say the world is overcrowded and should only have a population of about 100,000 or million or whatever. Then in the next breath are all anti-war, make love not war pot smoking hippies.



Make up your minds. You can't have it both ways.

[niss]

brings a new meaning to "yer Momma wears army boots"

My Momma did wear army boots.
She could kill you 15 different ways with a straw and another 5 if you let her use the wrapper.

*Not A pic of my mom

[Hedley]

Both of my parents were officers in the Royal Canadian Air Force (pre-1968).

More relevantly, my mother didn't like the hospital much at Cold Lake when my father was flying F-104's there for CEPE. So, I was actually born on the nearby Indian reserve, which had a better hospital.

I am not making any of this up.

Anyways, this begs the question: if a cat has kittens on the stove, are they cookies? Can I apply for native status and get back (with compound interest, naturally) all the taxes I have paid during my entire lifetime?

[5x5]

Yup, it's really too bad that every country in the world doesn't teach its prepubescent youth to kill other people.

istp - this song's for you Rise Against

[. ._]

Thanks 5x5, but I think this song is WAAAY funkier.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01-2pNCZiNk

Man that guy is good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6nRKvQs ... re=related

If that doesn't make your hair stand on end, you are dead inside!

-istp