Air Canada, food, and security.

[Meatservo]

I enjoyed my latest flight on Air Canada. I like the movie thingie in the seat backs, I managed to make it almost all the way through "Iron Man II" before the plane left the gate. You see, there was a problem with the pilot. They didn't say what the problem was but it resulted in an AME unscrewing the pilot and then installing a new one (the two meatbags up front kept calling it "Navigation Equipment" on the PA, interrupting the movie every two minutes for no reason; I don't understand why the pilot can't make PA announcements itself; it does everything else, doesn't it?) Anyway, the flight attendant was attractive and polite, and the plane itself seemed pretty safe (I think they should paint eyes on the front of the automatic ones like the one I was in; it would make them seem even friendlier), it smelled nice too and I really enjoyed the flight once it got going. My first beer was on the house, even, because the plane was late. I like to think it was the pilot who bought me that beer, but since computers don't really have feelings I didn't bother to thank it. The meal was terrific too, chicken with some kind of blueberry sauce, and then that beautiful flight attendant gave me cookies and THEN asked me if I would like ice cream with them. You bet I would. The only thing I didn't like about it was how the dirty people in the back behind the curtain kept coming up to use our washroom. Well, you can't control the behaviour of people who don't know any better I suppose. One thing I was curious about, though. When the meal came I was astounded that it had real cutlery. After years of traveling I have coached myself to avoid carrying any metal pointy things through security. I mean you even get treated like a criminal for having a metal belt buckle. Anyway, my meal came with a full set of pointy metal things. Well to be honest I don't know what kind of mischief you could really cause with a table knife, but I do know for sure they wouldn't let you carry one through security. I suppose that, like me, the airline recognizes that anyone who shows the good taste to travel in the "executive" class would never be so crass as to cause trouble on an airliner. I mean, how gauche would that be? I'm surprised they even make us go through that horrid X-ray thing along with all the economy-class rabble. It makes my skin crawl.

Well, anyway, well done, Air Canada. I thought it was a great plane ride, and especially that flight attendant (the one with the ice cream), she was really something.

[modi13]

It's quite obvious why you were provided with metal cutlery: only the filthy proletariat would ever consider hijacking a plane. Those in first class are too civilized to entertain such ideas. On a side note, I suggest you carry something to throw at those disgusting labourers who are too indecent to be born into money, but insist on using your facilities. I would recommend diseased rodents of some kind, although they may use those to produce some kind of peasant stew.

[Old fella]

I enjoyed my latest flight on Air Canada. I like the movie thingie in the seat backs, I managed to make it almost all the way through "Iron Man II" before the plane left the gate. You see, there was a problem with the pilot. They didn't say what the problem was but it resulted in an AME unscrewing the pilot and then installing a new one (the two meatbags up front kept calling it "Navigation Equipment" on the PA, interrupting the movie every two minutes for no reason; I don't understand why the pilot can't make PA announcements itself; it does everything else, doesn't it?) Anyway, the flight attendant was attractive and polite, and the plane itself seemed pretty safe (I think they should paint eyes on the front of the automatic ones like the one I was in; it would make them seem even friendlier), it smelled nice too and I really enjoyed the flight once it got going. My first beer was on the house, even, because the plane was late. I like to think it was the pilot who bought me that beer, but since computers don't really have feelings I didn't bother to thank it. The meal was terrific too, chicken with some kind of blueberry sauce, and then that beautiful flight attendant gave me cookies and THEN asked me if I would like ice cream with them. You bet I would. The only thing I didn't like about it was how the dirty people in the back behind the curtain kept coming up to use our washroom. Well, you can't control the behaviour of people who don't know any better I suppose. One thing I was curious about, though. When the meal came I was astounded that it had real cutlery. After years of traveling I have coached myself to avoid carrying any metal pointy things through security. I mean you even get treated like a criminal for having a metal belt buckle. Anyway, my meal came with a full set of pointy metal things. Well to be honest I don't know what kind of mischief you could really cause with a table knife, but I do know for sure they wouldn't let you carry one through security. I suppose that, like me, the airline recognizes that anyone who shows the good taste to travel in the "executive" class would never be so crass as to cause trouble on an airliner. I mean, how gauche would that be? I'm surprised they even make us go through that horrid X-ray thing along with all the economy-class rabble. It makes my skin crawl.

Well, anyway, well done, Air Canada. I thought it was a great plane ride, and especially that flight attendant (the one with the ice cream), she was really something.

If this is your first attempt at satire then I give it hands down........

[RVgrin]

I enjoyed my latest flight on Air Canada.....

I enjoyed your post. Thanks for writing.

[huff'n'puffdriver]

I enjoyed my latest flight on Air Canada.....

I enjoyed your post. Thanks for writing.

HAHAHA!!!! RVgrin that's an epic WIN.

Meatservo...read some of Henri's posts before trying a story of your own.

Cheers

[Meatservo]

Ha! I just read Henri's story. I will defer to him from now on. I wasn't actually attempting satire, though, I actually did accidentally get put in first class (or whatever it's called) recently and the autopilot did break, I did get an excellent meal, the flight attendant was attractive, and there really was metal cutlery. And I really did enjoy the flight. I still think the metal knives and forks are weird considering the fact that the airside restaurants aren't even allowed to use them.

[RVgrin]

And I really did enjoy your post!

[mduffy]

Actually, you can get metal cutlery on the secure side. ie. Molson bar T1 Trx border. Sometimes you get a metal knife and a plastic spoon!?

[flyinhigh]

Don't worry, I am a pilot with the company and that still boggles my mind.

I can't come through security with a pair of nail sissors, however I can fly 300 passengers with a crash axe, and get my meal served with metal cutlery.


mmmm, makes sense. NOpe but this is aviation