ATC encounters

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high speed exit
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by high speed exit »

ATC: Jazz 123, what are your intentions?
Jazz 123: Honorable of course, we are canceling IFR!
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Tim
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Tim »

pilot holding short of a runway curious what he was waiting for says, "tower is there a reason why im holding short?".
tower says, "i can give you about 10 reasons"
the pilot quickly replied "ready to copy number 1"
...twr was not impressed
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AlbertaBoy
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by AlbertaBoy »

Overheard @ CYEG

Controller:

"FABC Edmonton Centre, good day, International ATIS. "Vagina"

oops...
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parrot_head
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by parrot_head »

AlbertaBoy wrote:Overheard @ CYEG

Controller:

"FABC Edmonton Centre, good day, International ATIS. "Vagina"

oops...

Funny 'cause it's true!!
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Old Dog Flying
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Old Dog Flying »

During the late '60s I was teaching at the CAF ATC School a YBN and would take my students to YYZ Tower and Centre on tours. Got to know the tower controllers quite well and as I frequently flew into the "Big Smoke" in the old C150, they tagged me with the call sign "Whiskey Blue"...easier than saying the ident...and the standard clearance was "cleared to Terminal 2, 500' and wait for it".

Going up to the north end could be a taxi nightmare so..."Whiskey Blue cleared to land 32 keep the speed up and land long exit the end"

One day I got the "standard" pointed it down the runway as an AC Diesel 8 was clearing with an American 707 by the beacon...the southern drawl..."You all callin' a bit close tower"

The guy in the tower came right back with..."We know his capabilities but not to certain about yours'''continue the approach"

Of course the Air Canada guy heard this and a few other comments were exchanged but I was too busy trying to land and laugh at the same time.
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cyeg66
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by cyeg66 »

whiteguy wrote:My favorite..

ATC: "Delta 1234, say air speed."

Delta: "Air speed"

ATC: "Delta 1234, say altitude"

Delta: "Altitude"

ATC: "Delta 1234, say Cancel IFR"

Delta: "240 kts, 14000 ft"
This is probably my favourite, 'course I'd wait til he's below 12500' to say the last part.
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cyeg66
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by cyeg66 »

parrot_head wrote:
AlbertaBoy wrote:Overheard @ CYEG

Controller:

"FABC Edmonton Centre, good day, International ATIS. "Vagina"

oops...

Funny 'cause it's true!!
Yup. Know the fella. Some guys even went as far as to make a clip of that and put it on their phone as a ringtone. Priceless.
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Skymaster
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Tower confuse

Post by Skymaster »

After landing we contact the tower just to let them know that we encountered a little windshear of about +- 10 kts on final approach at about 200 ft. She then asked: '' was it 200 ft AGL or ASL ? The field elevation is 250 ' That was hilarious....I almost replied :''If it was ASL we would not have called you.......... !!!


So funny.
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high speed exit
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by high speed exit »

This one is my favorite so far:

Controller: ABC radar service is terminated, cleared enroute
Pilot: ABC thanks, have a good day
Contoller: Sorry, I’ve got other plans!

I found it here:
http://atchappenings.blogspot.com/2010/ ... tions.html
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Shark-41
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Shark-41 »

During my training/working in California (KCCR) we had a spanish student who was weak in english (ha perished in an accident later...), he was arguing with the instructor and then called Concord ground with this statement: CCR Ground, this is Helicopter 2021G with INformation f#$% you!, whereupon the INSTRUCTOR quickly keyed the mike and yelled Its FOXTROT ITS FOXTROT!!

we had a good chuckle that is for sure.

Also had apache attack helicopters call too close for misiles in the circuit with 5 schweizer 300s...
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Brad MacKay
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Brad MacKay »

To the best of my recolection an exchange between an
Air Nova pilot and female YHZ terminal controller.

"Halifax terminal Air Nova 851, we're getting some turbulence
here at one six thousand, can you do us a favor and give us
lower?"

"Air Nova 851, the last time I did an Air Nova pilot a favor
I was on pennicillin for 2 weeks, but your cleared to six thousand."
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skibum777
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by skibum777 »

Some of you older YYZ types will remember CKEY traffic reporter/pilot Bob Rice who flew a bright red C337 years ago. I was in the YYZ tower one day in the late 70s doing some kind of B.S. survey for my former employer, Transport Canada. Bob was well known to the Toronto tower staff; one day he calls in on tower freq and requests a low approach on runway 32 (now 33R). Traffic is slow and he he gets the clearance. We are all looking to the south and finally pick up his brightly coloured airplane visually. As he approaches Hwy 401, it is apparent that he is not lined up on runway heading, but is headed straight for the tower. The controller working tower freq (perhaps the chief) sees what is about to happen, leaps up onto the console, drops his pants and underwear and positions his 'moon' as close to the glass as he can. Seconds later, Bob's airplane passes by the tower, at cab level, his left wingtip not more than 50 feet from the glass.

We all had a good laugh about that one, except for the poor female ATC assistant working the 'strips' at her position in close proximity to the tower controller. Ah, the good old days !!
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sanjet
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by sanjet »

Happened 2 years ago in canadian airspace, shitty wx. One of those days where its all over the place with deviations.
Was behind Speedbird 747 going into a major canadian airport (won't name it).

Arrival: Speedbird123 descend to 9000 expect ILS 23 speed 240 knots.
Speedbird: Roger cleared to 9000 speed 240 (with the usual perky british accent)

Few minutes later

Speedbird (getting concerned): Level at 9000 requesting lower sir.
Arrival: Yes sir speedbird123 won't be long.
1 minute later
Arrival: Speedbird123 decend 4 thousand
Arrival: Speedbird123 cleared ILS 23, contact tower.
Speedbird: (Clearly angered) Speedbird123 going around... go ahead chap pull up (speaking to his f/o still with the keyed mic)

Arrival: Speedbird123 i realize you were only slightly above glide slope don't you have spoilers for that?
Speedbird: (promptly) Yes we do but they're for our mistakes not yours!!

Quiet on the radio for 30 seconds, I couldn't stop laughing. Only that since I've started flying heavy aircraft do I understand his frustration now. Won't forget that radio chatter though.
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x-wind
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by x-wind »

KD414: "Vancouver kd414 over X 2,000ft inbound"

YVR:" kd414 don't have you on radar yet, we just changed the monitures to new rectangular screens so we cant see out as far in your direction call at Y"

KD414 "touch screen or buttons and nobs still?"

Pasco I think. " ... all the nobs are in airplanes"
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MCB
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by MCB »

Really hot, humid summer day at CYKZ.

CYKZ Tower: "Hot enough out there for ya?"
C172 Pilot: "Too hot! Up at 5000' it's not bad though"
CYKZ Tower: "Ya, I bet. 50' with an air conditioner isn't bad either"
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RadicalRadial
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by RadicalRadial »

A busy day in CYYJ. Flight numbers aren't accurate

Unknown pilot accidentally transmits "sh**"
ATC "GDLB did you just say sh**?"
GDLB "Didn't say sh**, GDLB"
AC jazz "jazz 344, didn't say sh**"
United "united 180 didn't say sh**"
GGCW " didn't say sh** GGCW"
ATC "ok ok enough with the language!"
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Tango5
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Tango5 »

Can't really remember the exact conversation, but a center controller was telling an aircraft that they were just waiting for North Cariboo to get airborne...aircraft's response? "Huh...didn't know cariboo could fly!"

Thought it was kinda cute.
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teh1pilot
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by teh1pilot »

While doing a flight with a buddy of mine to build some PIC time in a C172, we were passing through a local airport that just finished an airshow as we were approaching the control zone. When I made my initial call asking for clearance through, the conversation went like this....:

Tower:C172 ABC, clear through the zone. Traffic at your 11 o'clock doing a low and over. 2 CF-18's.
Meanwhile I punch the throttle to get into the area for some pictures of the 2 F18's.
ABC: Tower, we have visual on CF-18 #1, I don't have visual on #2.
Tower: ABC, other traffic already at your 6 at 15 miles. No conflict.
ABC(noticeably upset at not being able to get some good pictures): ABC Roger, we just wanted to get some pictures of the 2 is all. Thanks!"

A moment passes by, and then:

Unknown: "To C172 ABCD, wondering if you are still taking pictures"
ABC: "No the 2 18's are long gone, barely got any."
CF-18: "No you don't understand, this is the 18 pilot. Give me 5 ill be along side your 3. Get your camera ready"
CF-18: "ABC, is that you squawking 1200?"
ABC: "Roger"
CF-18: "Heeeeeerre comes the show!"

After about 3 minutes of him showboating at slow airspeeds, he then pulls vertical and then inverted directly over us. then departs back to base.

Tower: "ABC, state your position"
ABC: "ABC currently over (fix)"
Tower: "hm... funny because I'm showing you are currently on cloud 9"

Still to this day, the flight was the best I have ever had the pleasure of flying.
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Cessna driver
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by Cessna driver »

teh1pilot wrote:While doing a flight with a buddy of mine to build some PIC time in a C172, we were passing through a local airport that just finished an airshow as we were approaching the control zone. When I made my initial call asking for clearance through, the conversation went like this....:

Tower:C172 ABC, clear through the zone. Traffic at your 11 o'clock doing a low and over. 2 CF-18's.
Meanwhile I punch the throttle to get into the area for some pictures of the 2 F18's.
ABC: Tower, we have visual on CF-18 #1, I don't have visual on #2.
Tower: ABC, other traffic already at your 6 at 15 miles. No conflict.
ABC(noticeably upset at not being able to get some good pictures): ABC Roger, we just wanted to get some pictures of the 2 is all. Thanks!"

A moment passes by, and then:

Unknown: "To C172 ABCD, wondering if you are still taking pictures"
ABC: "No the 2 18's are long gone, barely got any."
CF-18: "No you don't understand, this is the 18 pilot. Give me 5 ill be along side your 3. Get your camera ready"
CF-18: "ABC, is that you squawking 1200?"
ABC: "Roger"
CF-18: "Heeeeeerre comes the show!"

After about 3 minutes of him showboating at slow airspeeds, he then pulls vertical and then inverted directly over us. then departs back to base.

Tower: "ABC, state your position"
ABC: "ABC currently over (fix)"
Tower: "hm... funny because I'm showing you are currently on cloud 9"

Still to this day, the flight was the best I have ever had the pleasure of flying.

Some extra stuff added in, but close enough
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AlbertaBoy
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Re: ATC encounters

Post by AlbertaBoy »

teh1pilot wrote:While doing a flight with a buddy of mine to build some PIC time in a C172, we were passing through a local airport that just finished an airshow as we were approaching the control zone. When I made my initial call asking for clearance through, the conversation went like this....:

Tower:C172 ABC, clear through the zone. Traffic at your 11 o'clock doing a low and over. 2 CF-18's.
Meanwhile I punch the throttle to get into the area for some pictures of the 2 F18's.
ABC: Tower, we have visual on CF-18 #1, I don't have visual on #2.
Tower: ABC, other traffic already at your 6 at 15 miles. No conflict.
ABC(noticeably upset at not being able to get some good pictures): ABC Roger, we just wanted to get some pictures of the 2 is all. Thanks!"

A moment passes by, and then:

Unknown: "To C172 ABCD, wondering if you are still taking pictures"
ABC: "No the 2 18's are long gone, barely got any."
CF-18: "No you don't understand, this is the 18 pilot. Give me 5 ill be along side your 3. Get your camera ready"
CF-18: "ABC, is that you squawking 1200?"
ABC: "Roger"
CF-18: "Heeeeeerre comes the show!"

After about 3 minutes of him showboating at slow airspeeds, he then pulls vertical and then inverted directly over us. then departs back to base.

Tower: "ABC, state your position"
ABC: "ABC currently over (fix)"
Tower: "hm... funny because I'm showing you are currently on cloud 9"

Still to this day, the flight was the best I have ever had the pleasure of flying.
In the spirit of all things internet. . .and adding the fact that you took pictures. . .

PICS OR IT NEVER HAPPENED!!! :smt026 :smt026 :smt026
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