Things You Will NEVER Hear A Pilot Say...

[Doc]

This airplane is too fast.
This tail wind is too strong.
These engines are too powerful.
This beer is too cold.
That chick is too hot.
This cockpit is too roomy.
That runway is too long.
That ceiling is too high.
That steak is too big.

Expecting some good ones here, kids.

[Keenflyer]

I'm too modest

[CFR]

The money is too good.
The schedule is fantastic.
The uniform is a chick magnet.

[Big Pistons Forever]

"There is a possibility that I may not be the greatest pilot in the world"

"I love sitting in the FBO waiting for the passengers who are already 4 hrs late"

[carbeerater]

Getting paid only for flight time is awesome

[Heliian]

anything worth listening to.

[Beefitarian]

Someone from Transport Canada wants to talk to me? Oh good.

[frozen solid]

"Hey, NICE landing there, copilot!

[Mr Ed]

Runway is too long at ex military bases. Eleven thousand feet for a 172! I have said it, others have said too.

Never say never.

[Big Bird]

-No boss I'm not interested in a raise.
-The Caribbean sucks, especially in the winter time
-I'm not interested in a schedule that offers lots of days off
-Thank you kindly for the bonus, but I think we should re-invest it back into the company
-Five star hotels suck
-Can I pay for my type rating
-I wish my per-diems were lower....its too much for me
-I'm NOT a Pilot

[PilotDAR]

Well, I thought I had not heard it all... Two days ago, flying out of Paris, on Air France, after an hour long departure delay, I hear a pilot say:

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to apologize for the delay, it was entirely my fault. I thought I was flying a later flight today, so I arrived late to the airport."

I was not too happy about the delay, but you gotta like the no nonsense honesty!

[AuxBatOn]

Shit fighter pilots don't say

http://www.ishpeoplesay.com/ish-fighter ... -dont-say/

[CFR]

Sorry, the weather is below my personal minimums.
Gold bars are cool and command respect from students.
Damn you interrupted me! Now I have to start the checklist all over again!
I'm glad I'm not fighter pilot, I can tell my amazing flying stories using only one hand.

[schnitzel2k3]

'Oh that Twin Otter/Cessna 1xx or 2xx is X miles closer - ok we'll plan number 2'
'Oh man, that onboard coffee is GREAT'
'Boy that GFA sure was useful and accurate'
'Boy that TAF predicted the weather perfectly'
'I sure wish that AWOS would issue more SPECI's'
'I love embedded TCU/CB's'
'Northern winter ops, I'm lovin' it'
'Sure is smooth down low'
'Management sure has my back'
'Yeah, this instructing job pays well'
'Yeah this 703 op pays well'
'Yeah this 704 op pays well'
'Regional pay scales are very respectable, despite the lack of risk and experience they ask of the pilots'
'Flight attendants definitely deserve more pay than me'
'I want to fly piston singles instead of multi turbines'
'Why don't they give clearances and/or traffic alerts in english and french'
'Let's take the delay on taxi/departure to wait for traffic and complete our checklists in reasonable time'
'That vfr guy with the strong accent, yeah I totally understood his 26.7 traffic report'
'I slept great and feel awake and rested'
'That Hornet should stop doing low and overs as I would like to depart'

[GyvAir]

This tail wind is too strong.

Pretty sure I've heard a pilot say (or maybe it was print) this somewhere recently.

[Colonel Sanders]

I like to take off heavier than this.
The density altitude is too low.
I wish we had less fuel.
The wx is too good at the destination.
I love a short icy runway with a howling crosswind.
I haven't been married enough times.
Could you arrange for more tax to be taken off my pay?

[reality check]

Yeah, I'd like to go through another divorce, seem to be getting the hang of it now.

[shitdisturber]

Could you arrange for more tax to be taken off my pay?

Actually, I've always done that; so that at the end of the tax year, they owe me instead of the other way around.

[shitdisturber]

Gee that lightning is pretty, let's go closer for a better view.

[frozen solid]

... just put those used earplugs in the seat back pouch. I'll pick them out later. Here you go, here's a barf bag to spit tobacco juice into as well. Just leave it on the floor or in the seat back with your earplugs. There you go. I hope you enjoy the flight.

[sidestick stirrer]

I liked that written exam so much that I took it twice...

[digits_]

I think I'll need another 10 hours of instruction to get checked out on this airplane type.

Nah, I won't buy that airplane, it's just too cheap.

Oh boy, a glass cockpit, cool !

[xysn]

Shouldn't gas be more expensive than this?

[KAG]

Let me grab the cheque

[digits_]

I have no remark or any comment on how you fly.

There is absolutely no way you could improve your airplane, it is perfect as it is.