Pilots are selfish....

tip tank · Post by **tip tank** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 5:24 pm

So, we work hard for our jobs, or careers, but does that make us selfish to expect other people to plan around our lives? IE: better halves? Enlighten me before i go insane.

magellan · Post by **magellan** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 9:01 pm

It's called compromise, and it has to come from both sides.

Seb · Post by **Seb** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 9:02 pm

Im on my 4th pint of Guinness so the answer to this classic plunder might not seem as poetic tomorrow, however, here it is:

ahem...

You can probably be happy with the status quo, millions of people do it every day. If you think the 9-5 will be enough for you then save yourself the trouble and lock into a nice mortgage, start working on a couple of kids and make her happy. But if its not, and you do that, you will resent her and kick yourself in the chin. My advice, dont confuse selfishness with hapiness, these are mutually exclusive. Bottom line, if you are miserable, chances are she will be to. Question then is: how bad do you want it?

thank you,
yours truly

bandaid · Post by **bandaid** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:16 pm

Yours is not the only career where the spouse has to make some sacrifices. The careers that I can relate to are those of us shift workers. Four days on and four off sounds great until you realise that it means that you work a lot of weekends and miss a lot of things that are important. Weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, ect...
My wife knew coming in what my career would be like and luckily for me she has been very supportive and understanding. Our members suffer from one of the highest divorce rates in Canada (around 85%). I have been lucky enough to be married only once and it will be 25 years this May.
So what I would say to you guys/gals. Is their a secret formula? Nah, Like they say in craps "you pays your money and you takes your chances" Just make sure you spend what little time you have off with your spouse and not drinking with the boys after work. Of course a good spouse would have a cold beer waiting in the fridge when you get home and maybe something hot too

ndb · Post by **ndb** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 7:12 am

Tip Tank: From the sounds of it, you haven't been divorced even once yet. Odds are strongly in favour of you doing so.

I know one guy (pilot, obviously) he's been divorced THREE times - and yes, all with different women. I'm not sure if he's an optimist or a slow learner.

North American women simply will not tolerate a lack of constant attention from their husbands, whom they view as ambulatory fashion accessories ("You're going to wear THOSE shoes? And THOSE pants? With THAT shirt?!") that they take to browse antique stores.

Frankly, there's an entire generation of North American women who are good for one thing only, in my opinion, and it sure as heck ain't marriage.

Remember this: don't confuse being lonely with being horny. If you're lonely, get a dog. If you're horny, pay for it by the hour - it's a whole lot cheaper that way.

SplitS · Post by **SplitS** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 7:21 am

ndb, a liitle bitter are we? Your post is about as bitter as ive read.

If you're lonely, get a dog. If you're horny, pay for it by the hour

Some life....

ndb · Post by **ndb** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 8:31 am

SplitS: I don't know if you're bitter, but I'm not - just a realist

I have a great life. I have more fun than any 10 people I know. I was in a hot tub friday night with 4 naked (and drunk) women

Life just doesn't get a whole lot better than that.

It was worth every penny it cost me to get rid of my (North American) ex-wives, both of whom were whiny, complaining lead weights around my neck, whom I could never please, no matter what I did. They appeared to have devoted their lives to making my life hell on earth, and that's what Transport is for.

You're young, and naive. That's ok, you'll get over it. When you get older, you'll understand that being in a "relationship" with a North American woman is like wearing corrective underwear 24 hours a day - there's always this constant, uncomfortable pressure being exerted upon you to change.

SplitS · Post by **SplitS** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 8:53 am

Well 32 is young I guess but Im not naive. And Im not married to a north american woman.. See, I knew ahead of time what lead weights they would be.. I learnt from other guys mistakes...So instead I married a hot little south american 10 years younger. Its as sweet as you can imagine.

Too bad for you, you learnt the hard way. But glad to hear youre making up for lost time.. Enjoy yourself!!

They appeared to have devoted their lives to making my life hell on earth, and that's what Transport is for.

That was priceless!!

Cheers!

N8 · Post by N8 » Tue Mar 30, 2004 10:37 am

ndb wrote:.....I was in a hot tub friday night with 4 naked (and drunk) women.

I'll be expecting an invitation to your next party.

I'll even bring the booze.

bandaid · Post by **bandaid** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 11:00 am

Well if he lives up north, naked and drunk doesn't necessarilly mean good looking. Heck I've seen 4 drunk northern women that didn't have 3 teeth between them.

phillyfan · Post by **phillyfan** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 11:11 am

I don't know? There's plenty of fat, old, wrinkly ones he could be bobbin around naked with in a southern hot tub too.

cyyz · Post by **cyyz** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 11:13 am

magellan wrote:It's called compromise, and it has to come from both sides.

Everyone else had quality quotes. But Magellan is right. Both parties need to make the relationship work.

ndb · Post by **ndb** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 12:53 pm

Br*nt: don't worry, your mother wasn't there

phillyfan · Post by **phillyfan** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:25 pm

What's wrong too young and not wrinkly enough for ya?

R580XD · Post by **R580XD** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 6:05 pm

bandaid wrote:Well if he lives up north, naked and drunk doesn't necessarilly mean good looking. Heck I've seen 4 drunk northern women that didn't have 3 teeth between them.

Would ya like a gum-mer there pi-lot

just another pilot · Post by **just another pilot** » Tue Mar 30, 2004 11:42 pm

Maybe NDB was naked too, still want the invite? AIDS can apply to many careers.
I think NDB hit the nail with his comments on North American women. Just like Eddie Murphy did years before. Save yourself the grief, find a women you hate...then buy her a house.

gelbisch · Post by **gelbisch** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 6:03 am

does compromise, in anyone else's experience, seem to mean give in to what she wants or life will be miserable?

bandaid · Post by **bandaid** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:07 am

I think that their should be no need for comprimise. You have gone away for 2-4 years, paid and large sum of money to get into a career. This is really no different from any other training that you would get or career that you would enter. You go where the jobs are or you starve. I wouldn't put $50,000.00 into a flying career to become a steel worker just to make someone else happy.
I would like to think that a person would sit down with his potential significant other and discuss the future of your life together as a commercial pilot. Your's is not the only job that requires you to be away alot. Their are two realities to marraige, some work, some fail, you can't always blame it on a career. If you think that you are going to go through life in the honeymoon phase than stay single. If you find the right one, great, but don't pull the plug after the first argument. Having a spouse is like having a best friend (sappy I know) but I thank my lucky stars that my best friend is at home to vent to whan I have a bad day at work.

ndb · Post by **ndb** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:24 am

Bandaid: help me understand this "relationship" stuff. You have a "bad day at work", where presumably you make the effort to be pleasant to people you don't like very much. Then you go home a "vent" at your supposed "best friend", which doesn't sound very pleasant.

Summary: you spent the day being nice to people you don't like, and unpleasant to someone you claim you like.

You wouldn't happen to be female, would you?

bandaid · Post by **bandaid** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:52 am

It's a two way street. She works too and can bounce her bad days off me. Unlike some of you pilots who seem to be in permanent whine mode, I have very few really bad days. Sure is nice to have someone to go home to, sit and have a glass of wine with, maybe a hot tub, and just unwind. Try it some day.
Who said that I never liked the people that I treat. I have met some really great people through my job. Every job has aspects within the job that you dislike. More often than not I think you will find that it is the people that you work with more than the ones you meet along the way. I only have to be nice to my patients for maybe 20 minutes, and if I can't do that than I am in the wrong job. The guys and gals I work with however, I have to be nice to for 11 hours. A partner (in your case co-pilot) can make a 11 hour shift fly by or make it feel like an eternity. I digress. You haven't sat at work and vented to another pilot that you consider a close friend. Maybe a close friend that you socialise with away from work has heard the wrath of ndb about a problem at work.
Your spouse should always be involved with your life otherwise she may think that she is to blame for your really bad mood. They are not idiots, and they will sense that you have problems. Hey, but what do I know. I have only known my wife for 27 years.

SplitS · Post by **SplitS** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:52 am

Ouch!!! ROTFLMAO!!

bootyshake

bandaid · Post by **bandaid** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 10:02 am

I re-read my post a realised that I refered to pilots as whiny. I don't mean this as a blanket statement towards all you guys/gals. Some of the pilots I see here on a regular basis seem to have the glass half empty philosophy of life. I am however, a rather pragmatic person. To right off relationships because of a bad experience is to sentence yourself to a long and lonely life. I guess that I have been lucky so far.

bandaid · Post by **bandaid** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 10:03 am

Opps, got the time out thing and thought that my post never went through.

lifegoeson · Post by **lifegoeson** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 10:39 am

When I was getting the divorce, I asked my ancient grandmother her theory of why there are so many divorces. She just said, very matter-of-factly, "People don't need each other anymore."

I replied, "Oh. I just thought women were all controlling C*NTS!"

(Just joking on the reply. I only thought that.)

Think about it. If you don't do everything they want, you f^*king pay big time. Or you get a divorce. Those are your options.

Then there's this whole brainwashing thing you do, too. "Oh, this is waaay better than being single." BULL$HIT!! You have to tell yourself that as a coping mechanism.

Some of my friends are married, and the only ones that are happy are slaves, who have an incredible appetite for eating sh1t . I don't know how they do it.

Women are fucking b1tches, and they're fatter than us too.

Boy that felt good. Bitterness rules!!

ndb · Post by **ndb** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 10:57 am

A lot of negativity here, which is understandable.

I think the problem a lot of people have is that they try to treat women as normal people - you know, reason with them, or expect rational, logical or consistent behaviour from them. Of course, anyone that's been married will tell you that just isn't true.

In my opinion, I think women are fantastic. I dearly love scr*wing them. I just don't want to talk to them after, or for that matter, before.

Anyone know of a woman that doesn't talk too much? Me neither. I think that's why so many men like bl*wjobs. It feels good, with the added incredible bonus that she can't talk for a while. Who can resist that combination?

Once more, don't confuse being lonely with being horny. A woman is a great solution to being horny, and a nightmare solution for being lonely.