Funny Email...

[Pilot_adam]

I got this email today, i think it is funny so i thought maybe u guys will like it ...

After every flight, Quantas Airline pilots fill out a form, called

a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the


aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs


on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next


flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.


>


>Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by


Quantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded


(marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


>


>By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has


never had an accident. Enjoy!


>


>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.


>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


>


> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.


>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


>


>P: Something loose in cockpit.


>S: Something tightened in cockpit.


>


>P: Dead bugs on windshield.


>S: Live bugs on back-order.


>


>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet


per minute descent.


>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


>


>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.


>S: Evidence removed.


>


>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.


>S: DME volume set to more believable level.


>


>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.


> S: That's what they're for.


>


>P: IFF inoperative.


>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


>


>P: Suspected crack in windshield.


>S: Suspect you're right.


>


>P: Number 3 engine missing.


>S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


>


>P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)


>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be


serious.


>


>P: Target radar hums.


>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


>


>P: Mouse in cockpit.


>S: Cat installed.


>


>And the best one for last...


>


>P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds


like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.


>S: Took hammer away from midget

[hazatude]

ADAM DO YOU FLY AT PENINSULAIR?

[Pilot_adam]

Yes indeed

[hazatude]

Why haven't you PM'd me for access to the Peninsulair forums?

[bee tee]

Why haven't you PM'd me for access to the Peninsulair forums?

Active recruitment!!!

[hazatude]

NICE!

[logicaldisaster]

I think i like her smiles the best....

[TI-ANB]

LOL.....

[Redwine]

Quantas....Qantas...he, he, he

[CID]

Hey Pilot_Adam! 1998 called. They want their joke back.

[wha happen]

Hey Pilot_Adam! 1998 called. They want their joke back.