my ex girlfriend was so fat...

wha happen · Post by **wha happen** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:58 am

When she danced she make the band skip.

Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

When I go to the zoo the elephants threw her peanuts.

Her graduation picture was a aerial photograph.

Her driver's license says picture continued on other side.

When she ran away they had to use all 4 sides of the milk carton.

When she got in an elevator it HAD to go DOWN!

I had to grease the door frames and put a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

She could have made a million selling shade.

Her belly button didn't have lint -- it had sweaters.

M4A1 · Post by **M4A1** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:54 am

. ._ · Post by **. ._** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 5:47 pm

When she sat around the house, she sat AROUND the house!

Yoyoma · Post by **Yoyoma** » Sun Jun 19, 2005 8:12 am

istp wrote:When she sat around the house, she sat AROUND the house!

I've got mo'chin, than china town!! Ham on!

. ._ · Post by **. ._** » Sun Jun 19, 2005 11:07 am

She had to "beep" when she walked backwards!

200hr Wonder · Post by **200hr Wonder** » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:22 pm

She had to use a boomarang to put her belt on

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:40 pm

She uses a VCR as a pager,

Her blood type is Ragu,

Her belt size is "Equator,"

When she tripped and cut her leg, gravy came out,

To do it with her you had to slap her thigh and ride the wave.

Flyingpusser · Post by **Flyingpusser** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 11:21 pm

Her boarding pass is a waybill.

scm · Post by **scm** » Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:44 am

When she steps on the scale it says one at a time please,

She was zoned for commercial development,

When she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

M4A1 · Post by **M4A1** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:32 am

Whenever she wears high-heels she strikes oil.

~Hollywood~ · Post by **~Hollywood~** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 8:37 pm

Shes on both sides of the family

She is the same height lying down as she is standing up

It takes a train and two buses to get to her good side

When she sat on a rainbow skittles popped out

When she wears a red dress all the kids yell "kool-aid!!"

She has a homeless family living under her

When she went on top of the St.Louis Arc she turned it into the McDonalds sign

She bungee jumped and went straight to hell

She has to iron her clothes on the drive way

After we finished having sex, I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch!

Even Bill Gates couldnt pay for her liposuction

DA900 · Post by **DA900** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 11:19 am

When she goes camping the bears hide their food.

When she crossed the street I tried to drive around her, but ran out of gas.

Her ass has its own congressman.

M4A1 · Post by **M4A1** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 9:56 pm

DA900 wrote:When she goes camping the bears hide their food.

ahhhh...good one

bezerker · Post by **bezerker** » Mon Jul 04, 2005 10:51 am

"She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered." - James Matthew Barrie

Expat · Post by **Expat** » Sat Jul 09, 2005 1:31 am

Re-trim the plane every time she goes to the lav.

low n over · Post by **low n over** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:03 am

For sex
I'd roll her in flower and F$#k the wet spot

low n over · Post by **low n over** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:13 am

afterwards she'd roll over and smoke a Ham

wha happen · Post by **wha happen** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:34 am

she made andre the giant look like an anarexic supermodel

low n over · Post by **low n over** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 9:57 am

she sat on walmart and lowered the prices

she cant even fit into a chat room

resturants have placards reading 'Max occupancy 250 patrons or your girlfriend'

wha happen · Post by **wha happen** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 12:24 pm

She put on a yellow T-shirt and walked outside and everybody yelled hey taxi!!!

she was so fat you need a truck drivers license to ride her

low n over · Post by **low n over** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 1:34 pm

She so fat

she'd walk into a restaurant, look at the menu and say "okay"

She fell in love........and broke it.

w squared · Post by **w squared** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 8:54 pm

I had to hire a rodeo clown to distract her when I was bringing the groceries home.

PatDaPilot · Post by **PatDaPilot** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 2:28 pm

last time she saw 90210 was on a scale...

jimdandy · Post by **jimdandy** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 5:37 am

She has more rolls than a french bakery.

She has bigger tits on her back than Pam Andersson does on her chest.

She don't wear clothes, she wears sheets.

I heared of bump in the trunk, but she is haulin a whole trrailer.

desksgo · Post by **desksgo** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 12:14 pm

She didn't have an hourglass figure, she had a calendar figure.
Which gave her a lot of time on her ass.