Best "Simpson's" Quote

FREEFALL · Post by **FREEFALL** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 4:53 am

There is no ONE person that can ever watch too much SIMPSONS. The SIMPSONS has become a way for people to converse with eachother. Just like how quoting Monty Python used to be!

Magnanimous · Post by **Magnanimous** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 5:05 am

Homer: "Taxes, I paid those over a year ago."

Scientists: "We're not here to play god."
Homer: "I think your octo-parrot would dissagree."
Octo-parrot: "RAW. Polley shouldn't be."

Homer: "Linguo dead?"
Linguo: "Linguo IS dead"

lazy · Post by **lazy** » Sun Jul 31, 2005 9:49 am

Lisa, If the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that
girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and
foxy boxing and such and such.

-- Homer Simpson

Bushed · Post by **Bushed** » Sun Jul 31, 2005 3:32 pm

Homer: Kids are great, they practicaly raise themselves.

desksgo · Post by **desksgo** » Sun Jul 31, 2005 5:23 pm

From tonight's new simpson's episode (one of the best one's I have ever seen).

Smithers: Oh Mr. Burns you know I was out on a date (enters with woman)
Bart: Mr. Smithers? I thought you were....
Smithers: No as long as I take these injections, I remain stright (shoots needle in arm)... I LIKE BOOBIES!!!

TenForTwelve · Post by **TenForTwelve** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:45 am

Homer to Lisa:

"You need to bottle up your rage and release it at an appropriate time, like when daddy hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember honey, when daddy hit the referee?"

TenForTwelve · Post by **TenForTwelve** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:46 am

Homer to Lisa:

"You need to bottle up your rage and release it at an appropriate time, like when daddy hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember honey, when daddy hit the referee?"

lazy · Post by **lazy** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 2:50 pm

Bartender: Uh, sorry you gotta be a pilot to drink here.
Homer: Uh, but I am a pilot.
Bartender: Where's your uniform?
Homer: Um, I stowed it safely in the overhead compartment.
Bartender:Well you talk the talk. Here's a loaner.

Man: We need a pilot, pronto! Who wants to fly to the Windy City?
[pilots all go, "Oh, I'll go!", "Me", "I'm your man", etc.]
Man: Conditions are a little windy.
[pilots all go, "Well", "I dunno", "Never mind", etc.]
Man: [to Homer] You!
Homer: [now dressed as a pilot] But I --
Man: Hey...you're not just impersonating a pilot so you can drink
here, are you?
Homer: Yeah. That's exactly why I'm here.
Man: [laughs] You fly boys, you crack me up.
Homer: [being pushed into the cockpit] But I keep telling you I'm not a
pilot!
Man: And I keep telling you you fly boys crack me up!

Alan: Hi, I'm Alan. I'm your copilot.
Homer: Uh, yeah, uh, hmm. Er, uh, as a change of pace, I'm going to let
you do most of the work. I think you're ready for it, Alan.
[Alan makes a face]
And, um, I'll just get us started.
[flips a switch randomly]
Alan: Uh, we'll need that to live.
[Homer flips another switch; the wheels retract and the plane
smashes into the runway]

Stewardess: [over PA] Attention passengers. Due to our policy of
overselling flights, this flight has been oversold. In
accordance with FAA rules, the first two people to the front
will be upgraded to first class.

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the key pad with your palm, now."

desksgo · Post by **desksgo** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 6:32 am

"I quit, I'm going to Nav Canada"

Anyone remember that episode?

Elliot Moose · Post by **Elliot Moose** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 5:09 pm

Chief Wiggums "Ralphie remember, if your nose bleeds it means you're picking it too much......or not enough...."

Cool Rythms! · Post by **Cool Rythms!** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 6:52 pm

Homer to Bart: "Why you little......" (sound of strangling)
Bart: Yahkchuuuk!!

Guido · Post by **Guido** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 7:08 pm

Best ever:

Connie(Lisa):Mom! Dad! Look what I found!
Homer:Oh, boy! Buffalo testicles!
(he bites onto a pair)
Connie:No dad they're apples
Homer:Yuh! Blahhh! Yuck!

scubasteve · Post by **scubasteve** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 9:11 pm

Oh I get it. I get jokes

No tv and no beer make Homer something something

Go Crazy?

Dont mind if I do (homer goes crazy and I dont know how to spell his noises)

Shtinky · Post by **Shtinky** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:38 pm

Ralph Wiggum "Daddy I'm so scared I can't pee my pants"

Chief Wiggum "That's okay Ralphy. Just relax and it'll come"

Homer get's on a health kick. He goes out for a walk and reads a sign above a fitness club that says "Gym"

Homer "Guy-m"?!?! What's a "Guy-m"???

Homer walks into the gym, looks around

Homer Oh... a "Guy-m"

Flying Low · Post by **Flying Low** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:41 pm

I'm not not licking toads.

J.P.WISER · Post by **J.P.WISER** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 3:11 pm

"I don't have to be carful I got a gun"

CommSpaz · Post by **CommSpaz** » Wed Aug 10, 2005 6:31 am

(covered in slime) "I came out of the elephant's MOUTH, right??"

scm · Post by **scm** » Wed Aug 10, 2005 10:43 am

LENNY: So now you've got two wives? They say the happiest man is the man with two wives.

KARL: That's two knives, you idiot.

MOE: (brandishing two large knives) I gotta tell you, this is pretty sweet.

Highflyinpilot · Post by **Highflyinpilot** » Wed Aug 10, 2005 7:18 pm

Homer: "Fuel for me mule, Gas for me Ass"

Highflyinpilot · Post by **Highflyinpilot** » Wed Aug 10, 2005 8:40 pm

Homer: "the kids at school can call you HOJU"

penishero · Post by **penishero** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 11:55 am

J.P.WISER wrote:"I don't have to be carful I got a gun"

Homer - "3 day waiting period??? I'd kill you if i had my gun!!"
Gun Salesman - "Ya, well you dont."

spoiler · Post by **spoiler** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 12:18 pm

Bart: "how do they taste Ralph?"

Ralph: "Taste like burning......"

duplicate2 · Post by **duplicate2** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 2:25 pm

After Lisa announces her intention to build a perpetual motion machine:

Homer: "Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of Thermodynamics!"

jumperdumper · Post by **jumperdumper** » Sat Aug 13, 2005 6:43 pm

Lisa the vegitatian...
Homer: "it a little airbourne ..it ok..it ok.." when the BBQ pig went flying off the bridge...