The divorce thread

[KAG]

Since the running joke with flight crew is the divorce rate, just wondering who on here is, or has gone though this.
Any advice to pass along as many on here will be in need of it at some point.

Thanks.

[ahramin]

If you want to stay married, pick a good one and make your relationship with your spouse a priority. I don't think there's anything particular to aviation. I suspect the majority of divorced couples are happier off divorced.

[pelmet]

Except for those monthly payments. I believe that they are taxed differently as well.

[Heliian]

AIDS

Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome

[TeePeeCreeper]

Suffice to say, my ex finally agreed to sign off on our divorce exactly one week ago today. It was a relief after a 2 year long (expensive!) legal battle!

As a wise "Tim Bit loving" co-worker once recounted...

"You know why divorces cost so damn much? Because they are worth every penny!"

My advice is that if your matter can't be mediated in short order, do not delay or pussy foot around. Seek legal representation and spend the bucks to hire a good lawyer. Fight for what is in your children's best interest (if you have kids) and don't back down. Don't doubt yourself!

To those whom might read this post, finding themselves in a similar position as I once did... Keep your chin up!

All the best,
TPC

PS: A wise mentor once told me that "the best revenge is to be happy". As simple as it may seem it is very true.

[JasonE]

Love is grand, divorce is a 100....

[Old fella]

In my older age, am unable to impart any advice on this subject. Been married to the same broad for 37 yrs.

[Eric Janson]

I'm not going to get married again, I think I'll just find a woman that hates me, then buy her a house.

- Willie Nelson ( also attributed to Rod Stewart and others )

[Mach1]

Suffice to say, my ex finally agreed to sign off on our divorce exactly one week ago today. It was a relief after a 2 year long (expensive!) legal battle!

As a wise "Tim Bit loving" co-worker once recounted...

"You know why divorces cost so damn much? Because they are worth every penny!"

My advice is that if your matter can't be mediated in short order, do not delay or pussy foot around. Seek legal representation and spend the bucks to hire a good lawyer. Fight for what is in your children's best interest (if you have kids) and don't back down. Don't doubt yourself!

To those whom might read this post, finding themselves in a similar position as I once did... Keep your chin up!

All the best,
TPC

PS: A wise mentor once told me that "the best revenge is to be happy". As simple as it may seem it is very true.

Everything he said. Make that good lawyer a woman... they are better sharks than the men.

Also: A hunting accident is far cheaper. (That's humour for those who might take that seriously)

[golden hawk]

AvCanada might need a bigger server for this thread......

[fish4life]

Haha, if you aren't married yet make sure she makes more than you do and it will make your divorce much cheaper.

[Flybabe]

If you want to stay married, pick a good one and make your relationship with your spouse a priority. I don't think there's anything particular to aviation. I suspect the majority of divorced couples are happier off divorced.

That ^

[rigpiggy]

Haha, if you aren't married yet make sure she makes more than you do and it will make your divorce much cheaper.

I have a friend that tried to make his wife happy by working more to buy her things. When the day came around that she left, he was working 60-80 hr weeks. Her Lawyer went after support based on his last years T4, Now he still works 60-80 hrs to buy her things. If your going to divorce, don't take overtime or drafts to lower your income, spend as much time with her as you can, and document it pictures, texts, receipts etc...."your the Good Husband " Lawyers don't like to work for free, the less you have the less they'll take.

I know a guy who got appraisals on everything, and drew up 2 lists equal in assets. He put a bunch of things she wanted in one, and things he wanted in the other. She could pick one list, with the proviso that she would sign off without lawyers. Because, "Do you want to put our Kids through college, or the Lawyers"

[EPR]

I can add my one and a half pesos to the subject (that's about all I have left):
1) It's cheaper to keep her, and
2) the fucking you had is never as good as the fucking you get!
3) If it floats, flys or fucks....rent it!

[bezerker]

If you are ready to unplug and see the world for what it really is:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/

[Shady McSly]

[noon_crue]

My ex was with me for as long as I have been flying/ working in the industry (about 10 years, married for 2) she was all for "follow your dream" until the time came. I left for the summer to work the dock. And she instantly regretted say that. She told me several times that she didn't want to be married to a "part time husband." I threw the idea out there for her to move up north with me the next season. She laughed at that idea. And pretty much made me choose between her or my career..... So after being home for 2 months, and many arguments about this. I now have joined the Navy others affected by A.I.D.S and live in NWO with my dog, doing what I love. Lol

Moral of the story, single or dating is better, and cheaper than getting married

[bobm]

After 2 divorces I finally got smart and married another pilot. Been almost 30 years now...

[digits_]

http://www.airlinepilotforums.com/forei ... rline.html
post number 8

Kudos Berzerker, I swallowed the Married Red Pill and now see it all for what it truly is.
Canadian men, best educate yourselves.

FOD

Even if you don't marry, isn't there that family law that considers that couples living together for 3 years are automatically considered to be common law with the same rights/spousal support consequences as non-married couples?

http://www.legalline.ca/legal-answers/c ... -break-up/

So what do you do about that, change partner every 3 years

[Mostly Harmless]

It's sad when a relationship goes FUBAR.

Fucked Up By A Ring.

[5x5]

If this thread represents the feelings of a broader group, then I am truly depressed. In the example above there are a number of things that are expressed as though they are common. First, why would each person in a supposed union manage their money independently? They're supposed to be in it together. And even if they choose to, why would they not discuss the behaviour of each other and work toward common goals? A marriage is supposed to be much more than just being roommates.

Should there be a joint decision that one person stays home to look after the children it has to be viewed that they are contributing just as much, if not more, than the person that makes money.

Job relocation, promotions, career changes have to be joint decisions and can only be effective if there is a true commitment to a life-long partnership. This takes a lot of work, a lot of give and take and a willingness on both sides to give as well as take.

So many people these days seem to enter marriage as something that is temporary and only really committed to until something disappoints them or they feel stifled in some way. Marriage is all about shared success - both yours as well as your partner, and also shared commitment to overcome the disappointments - together. So many people say "You're so lucky" when they hear someone has been married 40 years. It's not luck - it's hard work and commitment. Which I guess is the real problem for so many people these days.

[lazyeight]

If you look only for your partner to fulfill you, your relationships will fail. Humans are inherently selfish people and you can't find your satisfaction in others. It's sad to see so many people I've known end their relationships because they never understood this.

[cncpc]

If this thread represents the feelings of a broader group, then I am truly depressed. In the example above there are a number of things that are expressed as though they are common. First, why would each person in a supposed union manage their money independently? They're supposed to be in it together. And even if they choose to, why would they not discuss the behaviour of each other and work toward common goals? A marriage is supposed to be much more than just being roommates.

Should there be a joint decision that one person stays home to look after the children it has to be viewed that they are contributing just as much, if not more, than the person that makes money.

Job relocation, promotions, career changes have to be joint decisions and can only be effective if there is a true commitment to a life-long partnership. This takes a lot of work, a lot of give and take and a willingness on both sides to give as well as take.

So many people these days seem to enter marriage as something that is temporary and only really committed to until something disappoints them or they feel stifled in some way. Marriage is all about shared success - both yours as well as your partner, and also shared commitment to overcome the disappointments - together. So many people say "You're so lucky" when they hear someone has been married 40 years. It's not luck - it's hard work and commitment. Which I guess is the real problem for so many people these days.

Nicely said, but probably an unwelcome intrusion of reason into this thread. LOL.

[beaverbob]

Well, I have been a full time working pilot for 45 years. I have been married to the same understanding and loyal wife for nearly 44 of them. However, I passed up any flying that would take me away from home for longer terms and some years in the 70's and 80's I was away for a maximum of two or three days at a time in a logging camp. We are still happily married and I am still, at 66, flying full time. So yes, it can be done.
Bob

[digits_]

So many people say "You're so lucky" when they hear someone has been married 40 years. It's not luck - it's hard work and commitment. Which I guess is the real problem for so many people these days.

You're so lucky your partner wants to work on it and commit to it as much as you want.