low time pilot with a baby on the way

[tsukubacpe]

hello everyone,

My name is john and I am currently working on my CPL. by the end of April or May, hopefully, I can be finished with group 1 IFR and a TT of 250 to 300. my mentality has always been to move north and tough it out to get a seat on an airplane as fast as possible. Everything changed when I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. She is 10 weeks right now and the baby is due at the end of May of next year which is approximately when I'll be finishing all my training. Ever since I found out she was pregnant, my mind has been all over the place. I don't know what to do or to think anymore. I don't want to leave them as soon as I'm done my training but I don't think staying in southern Ontario and instructing is my thing either. My plan was to drive all over Canada, looking for all SE operators until I found a job. Now, I'm not sure if I'm able to do that. I don't think i have the strength to leave my new born. I can't get my thoughts straight and I would like some of you to help me with my options. I have been researching some companies in Ontario that seem promising, for example Air Creebec. I could work the ramp for some time and be upgraded. CYTS is only 7 hours away from home, so the distance wouldn't be too bad to go see my family every once in a while or for them to take the trip. I want to stay close to home as possible but I understand there aren't many jobs in Ontario for new low time pilots. I would be devastated if I have to move away 2 or 3 provinces away from them and be able to see them one or twice a year. I know I have about 6-8 months to think about it, but I would love some of your input in this.

Thank you very much

[North Shore]

Can you move with your partner and the child?

Tough row to hoe..

[tsukubacpe]

I don't think she is willing to move. I wouldn't be enough support her mentally and emotionally. She needs her mom. Also, she would have someone to help her at all times while if she moved with me I would only be able to help her when able to so I'm not expecting her to say " I'll come with you "

[DanWEC]

If you're inclined to instruct, especially at the school you are currently at, you would spend maybe 2 years working at home, then figuring out where to jump too next. Money isn't great but you can always get a side job, uber is popular.

[tsukubacpe]

I don't think instructing is my thing. I want to move up the ladder as fast as possible. I do uber right now haha. Extra money and easy for me since my schedule is all over the place.

[cdnpilot77]

I did the move while wife was pregnant with twins. We found out she was pregnant quite literally days after I was offered an amazing job. It was a few weeks after that when we found out we were having twins. She did almost her entire pregnancy with me gone. Then when the kids were about 3 months old, we were finally living together. I was home for their birth but To say it was hard to be away through the pregnancy and first few months is a severe understatement.

Further to that, one of the twins was born with a small birth defect. It was treatable but required a lot of hospital visits in the first 2years. Where I moved them too was a 3hr drive in North western Ontario to the nearest hospital that could accommodate them. After the better part of a year of that, we just couldn't do it anymore. We needed the family support and the local facilities to take care of our sons needs.

I thought it would be a piece of cake and that there would be nothing we couldn't handle. Boy was I wrong. Don't underestimate the needs of your wife and children, especially if they're your first. It's very easy to do. I like to think I did the best we could have and made the most of our experience, but at the end of the day, the stress and pain was just too much.

Would it be like that for everyone...nope, of course not. Everyone is different. However, if there is a way to stay close to home ie: instructing like Dan suggested or find a short rotational position, do it. The going away for work not knowing when the next time you will be back loses its novelty very quickly and it gets harder and harder everytime.

Lastly, the company you work for makes all the difference in the world. The one I was with can probably be categorized as one of the best in Canada. They were beyond supportive and understood fully when I had to make the move back closer to family. I can easily imagine, had they not been as amazing as they were that my time there would have been absolutely miserable.

[Ki-ll]

Don't underestimate the needs of your wife and children, especially if they're your first.

This is probably the best advice on this topic. They will need you big time. There is a million things that can go sideways during pregnancy and after birth with healthy kids, much more so with any kind of a health issue.
Air Georgian in Toronto used to hire people who worked ground positions, some corporate operators would put their flight coordinators into a right seat of a turboprop. Instructing can be more fun than you think too. All of this is probably slower than going further North, but even that depends on particular operator.

[phillyfan]

I use to think airplanes mattered. I now have 3 kids under 5 years old. It would never matter to me if I never sat in another airplane as long as I lived. Aviation is a life sucking, family wreaking racket. If you choose tin over your kid you will be very sorry.

[tsukubacpe]

wow. You guys have good advice but it makes me think twice about things. I am so lost right now, and probably will be for a very very long time.

[Aviatard]

Aviation is a life sucking, family wreaking racket. If you choose tin over your kid you will be very sorry.

Mr. Fan is right. And you know the right thing to do. Now go do it.

[skypirate88]

Aviation is a life sucking, family wreaking racket. If you choose tin over your kid you will be very sorry.

Mr. Fan is right. And you know the right thing to do. Now go do it.

I have to disagree. Aviation has provided me many great things. I have 2 young boys (4 and 2 years old), a nice house and a job I love. I am 28 and have been at this for over a decade already.

To make it work, sacrifice must be made, and it must be made by both partners. My wife has put my career ahead of hers. I have only taken jobs that keep us around where we grew up.

I suspect that if you gave up flying, there would be resentment towards your partner. That said, you can't go chase tin and leave them behind. You can never get the time back that you miss with your children.

There is no east answer here. All you can do is make a decision you feel is best for you and your family.

Good luck

[EPR]

Suck it up and instruct until you get your 1000 hours, by then you will be in a better position to make a career decision. Phillyfan is right, except for the Phillyfan part...I know he's a closet Sens fan!

[Saxub]

Suck it up and instruct until you get your 1000 hours, by then you will be in a better position to make a career decision. Phillyfan is right, except for the Phillyfan part...I know he's a closet Sens fan!

Yeah, OP.. even if it's not "what you want" sometimes in life you have to make concessions on what you want and choose the thing that may be opposite of what you expected or want.. Sounds like this might end up being one.

[SuperchargedRS]

So with all that you have going on, with where you a are, or rather aren't, in you career, no one thought about birth control?

And I take it y'all are going to be raising this kid with the same forethought into the future?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YwZ0ZUy7P3E

[Roar]

Aviation is a life sucking, family wreaking racket.

OP be careful listening to advice such as the quoted above. If a pilot says aviation is life sucking and such my first thought is not to believe him but rather question his decision making when it comes to his aviation career choices. I'm 20 years in now and have had a great and fun filled career so far. I'm not saying you won't have challenges but IMHO it's worth it.

[MrTurbine]

I don't think instructing is my thing. I want to move up the ladder as fast as possible. I do uber right now haha. Extra money and easy for me since my schedule is all over the place.

In terms of instructing, i don't think you have much of an option. I have had lots of friends who have been through the same thing. I have watched some of them make good choices, and some bad.

Just keep in mind, no matter what stage you are in life, whatever choices you are going to have to make, family always comes first. I did the instructing thing earlier in my career, and it was a lot of fun and a lot of hard times. The money doesn't start great, but it usually does go up. I was even able to get a fair bit of multi engine PIC time instructing, which eventually helped me land a great gig in a turbine.
Yes, not many people want to start off instructing. They would rather fly right seat on a turbine to begin with. But not everyone is that lucky. I think you should just take what you can get closest to your family, even if it is an instructing job, and get those hours up until you can get a few more feasible and fun flying options, with half decent pay.
I do wish the best for you and your family!

Ps. Spending most nights home with family is something I wouldn't trade for the world.

[Full Deflection]

First of all, congratulations!

With children your life will change forever -and for the better I think. It's a lot harder than you can imagine but also a whole more rewarding too. Having flown commercially for 30 years and two children (20 & 18) I am still blessed with a woman who has always moved with my jobs and home schooled in between all the packing and unpacking.

I assume that your lass is a top quality gal, otherwise she wouldn't be going out with a bloke like you who is genuinely concerned for her and baby. You've received some pretty good advise here and I can add very little. Things aren't as bad as you think.

Sometimes planning a flight from destination to your point of departure is the smartest way of organising STARs, airways and SIDs. Life is the same I think. I don't expect any of the 1000s of passengers I've flown to come to my deathbed but I know my children will.

I suggest you buy the mother of your baby the nicest wedding ring you can afford, skip the expensive wedding celebrations stuff you see on the telly and each give it 100 %, in sickness and in health, with a flying job or not.
If I was chief pilot that would tell me that you have your priorities right and can be a trusted pilot.

I suspect your girlfriend would feel the same...

Let us know how you get on.

[Monorail Conductor]

Instruct - that'll keep you home most nights, and it'll give you the chance to get PIC time, and have a side gig, like UBER to help pay the bills when the season slows down. Do that until you can get multi PIC and your ATPL. That should bring you and the family to about 3 years. Research some companies and find out which ones work best for you - if you missed the boat on them cause they only hire FOs off the ramp, move on. 3 years will make a huge difference in the landscape in this business. But seriously consider the regionals for the stability, but most importantly the benefits (health, dental, travel) for your family.

[tsukubacpe]

thanks to everyone for the advice. I am fighting a battle everyday in my head and I'm still stuck, but I know I will do the right thing once it comes down to it.

[MrTurbine]

thanks to everyone for the advice. I am fighting a battle everyday in my head and I'm still stuck, but I know I will do the right thing once it comes down to it.

I'm sure you will make the right choice, or already what you think is. But try to think of it this way. Which choice is going to leave you with the least amount of regrets in the long run. You only live once, chasing metal for most of it might not give you as many wonderful memories as being with your family.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love everything about aviation and flying, and just like a Bunch of people that commented above, it runs deep in my blood. sometimes, you might feel a little crappy at first choosing family over a perfect flying career. And you might even think you will regret it later. But trust me. At first when I chose to stay 704/703 while all my friends got into the majors, I was pretty bummed. I was making more money at the time and got to be home every night with the weekends off, great for family life. But I craved to travel the world and experience all that the majors have to offer. But I can Guarantee you that I have a lot more happy memories with my family since I made that choice, and debatably a better marriage too. Now I might eventually join a regional and settle down or even consider taking a direct entry Captain job and stick it out for the pension. There's no best choice in aviation. You just make the best choice you can with the eggs that are given to you, and hope the best one hatches. Like I said, I am sure that you will make the right choice.