Best -Family Guy- quotes

Blue_Rider · Post by **Blue_Rider** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:11 pm

I can t get enough of the show.

Lois: Peter, what is your problem

Peter: You know what my problem is.... I love to much!!!!
Dance with me Lois, Dance the dance of life

-dances into the bookshelf-

... makes me laugh every time

Main Gear · Post by **Main Gear** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:18 pm

"Damn you broccoli"-Stewy

"Holy crip, it's a crapple"-Peter

hazatude · Post by **hazatude** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:18 pm

"Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn teether sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!"

- Stewie

cyyz · Post by **cyyz** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:36 pm

Scuba_Steve · Post by **Scuba_Steve** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:59 pm

'You fetch me a copy of the walstreet journal, you two....fight to the death!' - Stewie

" Of course a man made that louis, its a comercial not a delicious thanksgiving dinner!" - Peter

" Smoke"

"tabaco killed my father, and raped my mother!"

" Smoke"

"these are mine, this is where my babies come from!" - Louis

" Oh Ass ahoy!" - Brian

"Are you smokin' yet?"

" DAMN YOU! DAMN BROCCOLI AND DAMN THE WRIGHT BROTHERS!"

umm yeah ok as you can tell I've seen em all...multiple times.

. ._ · Post by **. ._** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 8:05 pm

"BOW DOWN TO ME!!" - Stewie on yet another power trip

mellow_pilot · Post by **mellow_pilot** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 8:11 pm

"... it feels like I did KISS too, and it feels good." -Peter

"Tell your wife to come over later for some boom-shakalaka, boom-shakalaka, boom-shakalaka, boom." - Steven Hawking

scm · Post by **scm** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 8:17 pm

"giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity ... "

Flying Low · Post by **Flying Low** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 9:22 pm

Just look at my signature below!

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 10:52 pm

"Thanks for the update, Big Ben"

"You can't eat all those hamburgers, you ridiculous fella"

"Sir, I found what was blocking your vacuum. It was an old meatball"
"Did you keep it?"
"No."
"You bastard."

"Chris, I just got us on welfare! Help me scatter car parts on the lawn."

SkyKing · Post by **SkyKing** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 12:24 am

Quagmire....

"Hey Meg, ya eighteen yet?"

duplicate2 · Post by **duplicate2** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 2:37 am

In court (I think this was the series premiere) after things go bad for Peter:

Peter: Oh no!
Lois: Oh no!
Kool-Aid Man (bursting through the wall): Oh yeah!

CarbIce · Post by **CarbIce** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 5:11 am

Peter says "Hmmm, how did these get here?"

Grabs his chin, removes it and stuffs it in his crotch.

VeRmiLLioN · Post by **VeRmiLLioN** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 6:43 am

"Sir, you can't park you van on the diving board." - Conceirge at Hotel

"That not my van, that my son" - Peter

------

"Hey everybody..look what I'm doing....!!" - Peter (as he licks his nipple)

-----

BTD · Post by **BTD** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 8:14 am

Peter "I think i read a book about this once"

Brian "Are you sure it was a book, are you sure it wasn't nothing?"

Peter "Oh yeah thats it"

And the one where meg says we can't go back to that one horse town.

Then it cuts to the horse,I can't remember what the horse said, but i was crying cuz i was laughing so hard.

Yoyoma · Post by **Yoyoma** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 8:51 am

"Peda... " - Lois

" Mother, my food hasn't cut itself " - Stewie

themilkguy · Post by **themilkguy** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 2:29 pm

BTD wrote:Then it cuts to the horse,I can't remember what the horse said, but i was crying cuz i was laughing so hard.

"Shutup! No, you shutup! No, YOU shutup! NO, YOU SHUTUP! All right - EVERYBODY just shut up! What was that? I don't know... (little gasp and a whisper:) The wind!"

Looooooooooooove that quote!

Craig

Blue_Rider · Post by **Blue_Rider** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:24 pm

Louis - Peter, I care as much about the size of your penis as you care about the size of my breasts-

Peter - OOO -
(bursts into tears)

BTD · Post by **BTD** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 6:29 pm

Thx milkguy. I knew the jist but not word for word. Probably one of the best family guy scenes

JayVee · Post by **JayVee** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 8:52 pm

Peter: Hey Lois....diarrhea!
Lois: Oh Peda, (chuckling)I'm carryin' iced tea!

Stewie: Victory is mine!
(while instructing Lois to clean his bum and change his diaper) ..AND DON'T FORGET THE TAINT!!
What the deuce?!

mellow_pilot · Post by **mellow_pilot** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 9:25 pm

Stewie to Brian (while getting his diaper changed)- "How does that smell, Dog? Does it smell like servitude?"

fanspeed · Post by **fanspeed** » Fri Aug 26, 2005 7:15 am

glenn honey.....i have a question for you...........

(quagmire) I have a question for you too-what are you still doing here?

Mostly Harmless · Post by **Mostly Harmless** » Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:36 am

“Quagmire, what are you doing here?” – as he emerges from a cell at the women’s prison.

“You know I can’t resist doing a chick in the can! Giggidy, giggidy!” – Quagmire.

“Damn you! Damn you all to hell!” - Stewie

“For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.” - Stewie

“Good news Flappy. I’ve decided not to kill you.” - Stewie

“Gee Peter, I’d like to help but, I have to go out in the hallway and chew on my ass for the next five minutes.” – Brian.

The list is Endless.

Rowdy · Post by **Rowdy** » Fri Aug 26, 2005 2:33 pm

Peter -theres a message in my alphabets is says "oooooooooooooooo"

Brian - Peter, those are cheerious!

lazy · Post by **lazy** » Sat Aug 27, 2005 8:45 am

Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.

Peter: Well, i guess you dont have to toilet train, i should give you some beer eh? That stuff runs right through ya
Stewie: (Sarcastc) Oh great while we do that we can smoke a doobie and watch some porn
Peter: Y... Yea?

My God wouldn't it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?