A very young French FA was doing her first line indoc flight on a dash 8. During the crew briefing she was asked if they taught her about the manual flush override in ground school. After replying no the crew explained to her that the lav doesn't flush properly all the time. In order to make sure the lav is working properly she had to enter the cockpit and push the manual flush override switch. After hitting the switch she had to wait for a horn to sound signaling the lav was clear.
For three days of line indoc, with the same crew every time she noticed someone come out of the lav she entered the cockpit and hit the manual flush override switch. Fast forward to her next pairing with a different crew. Upon seeing pax leave the lav she walked into the cockpit to hit the manual flush override then turned and walked out. On her third attempt the captain grabbed her arm and asked what the hell she was doing? Picture a cocky 19 year old French FA answer "I'm hitting the manual flush override." No, your turning off the autopilot!!
A very young French FA was doing her first line indoc flight on a dash 8. During the crew briefing she was asked if they taught her about the manual flush override in ground school. After replying no the crew explained to her that the lav doesn't flush properly all the time. In order to make sure the lav is working properly she had to enter the cockpit and push the manual flush override switch. After hitting the switch she had to wait for a horn to sound signaling the lav was clear.
For three days of line indoc, with the same crew every time she noticed someone come out of the lav she entered the cockpit and hit the manual flush override switch. Fast forward to her next pairing with a different crew. Upon seeing pax leave the lav she walked into the cockpit to hit the manual flush override then turned and walked out. On her third attempt the captain grabbed her arm and asked what the hell she was doing? Picture a cocky 19 year old French FA answer "I'm hitting the manual flush override." No, your turning off the autopilot!!
In examining the journey log following an engine change on the Beech 18 I had been flying, I noticed the engineer had incorrectly assigned the serial number and engine change details to the right engine, instead of the left - which was the one they had been working on for several days. There was intense pressure to get the aircraft operational and the task hadn't gone smoothly so people were understandably on edge. I pulled the straightest face I could muster and charged into the DOM's office exclaiming "OMG this is a nightmare! Your guys have pulled the wrong engine! I can't believe this is happening!" The DOM, who had been preoccupied with other things, and not following the engine change too closely, leaped out of his chair in horror, grabbed the logbook and after checking the entry, exploded out the door in a panic - cursing and swearing as he left. We all had a good laugh over that one.
Cheers,
Kirsten B.
Was this the engine you changed in after the catastrophic engine failure near Red Lake? I'd be pissed too.
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no sig because apparently quoting people in context is offensive to them.
Working the ramp at an FBO in YYC. These all happened to the same girl (she was the only M&M in a bowl of Smarties)
1. This girl, let us call her Sally, was a CSR at the time. It was a quiet night and we were bored. A few weeks earlier she screwed up on not notifying us of an incoming flight and we were caught playing catch up with all the requirements they needed. So with the help of a few fantastic mechanics in our hangar they allowed us to use the radio in one of their aircraft. My accomplice put on a thick heavy southern American twang and called up on the UNICOM that he was a GV N123YZ inbound in 15 mins on a quick turn. He needed to confirm that the 2 limos would be waiting as well as the catering for the crew and passengers continuing on.
Well there is a slight pause and she then asks confirmation again of this plane. My accomplice explains it all again. She appologizes that we do not have anything in the books for said request and then asks if they have the right FBO.
"Of course we have the right FBO. Why would a Shell aircraft go anywhere else other then a Shell FBO?" Again another pause. She then asks when the request was called in and to whom. "Ahhhh stand by...." says my accomplice. "Ahhhh... my captain says he talked to a Sally. Called last Monday to arrange everything." (She was on shift of course)
Well by this time (we are listening to the conversation in the back) I go to the front desk and ask what is going on. She is in tears, literally, saying she did not get this call and what is she going to do. Well we cannot let the poor girl bawl her eyes out so I get on the radio and say the jig is up.
She never spoke to us for a very long time.
2. Sally is now working the ramp as a helper. Her and I are walking through the hangar I have a stroke of shear brilliance. I swear and say I forgot to get a tenant of ours a case of K9P turbine oil for their jet. I mention we are all out and she will have to run to the other FBO on the field to go get some. As she is going over there we call and give them the heads up. Well they of course do not have any either so they send her down to Kenn Borek for a case. Someone there must of put her straight as she came back cursing and swearing at us (again) of how we sent her for dog piss.
Sally never spoke to us for a very much longer time.
3. Picture a cold winter day. It had been snowing all day. Now our de-icing equipment was a 50gal drum with a gas powered pump to deice smaller aircraft. Anything bigger then a G-string would be pushing the limits of this thing. UPS was, at that time, parking just south of the FBO and they were driving the 757. 1hr prior to their departure we told Sally that UPS needed deicing as their deicing truck broke down (they had a several hundred gallon boom truck for said operation) and needed us to give them a spray. So we bundled her up in the goggles, the deicing suit, the mask, etc etc etc, hooked up the little gas powered deice cart to the tug and sent her on her way to the 57. Told her we will be along shortly with the ladder to assist her but to go ask where they want us to start and she could get the hose out and such. She came back, once again, cursing our names till she was blue in the face of how we embarrassed her.
Sally has never spoken to us since.
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Kowalski: Sir, we may be out of fuel.
Skipper: What makes you think that?
Kowalski: We've lost engine one, and engine two is no longer on fire.
we bundled her up in the goggles, the deicing suit, the mask, etc etc etc
This reminds me of a prank my cousin told me about during his Navy Submarine days.
Pranks that also involve visual humiliation are the best I think.
They tell the new guy they have to retrieve the mail from the mail buoy that had been dropped nearby. He is to swim out to the buoy but first needs to slather a thick coat of grease all over himself to prevent hypothermia.
As the victim greases himself up friends discretely come up asking can they have his Walkman tape player etc in the unlikely event something goes wrong.
As the now grease covered fellow sits psyching himself up for the cold water swim in the North Atlantic he is gradually let in on the joke with bizarre instructions such as the hand signals for "am drowning require assistance vs am drowning. save yourselves" or "package marked postage due".
I don' think the stories about Sally are particularly funny. In fact I think they serve to illustrate just how low-brow the aviation industry has become. Pilots used to be a gentlemanly lot; now they seem to be just another bunch of low-class troglodytes. For shame.
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If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself
If I were Sally, I would pee in Darkwing Ducks gloves.
Anyone ever dump a bottle of nice, clean, cold water in a persons lap? or down the front of a shirt?
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The average pilot, despite the somewhat swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring.
These feelings just don't involve anyone else.
A guy on my crew in the Squadron in Germany was always leaving his line gloves lying around where I could get at them. Following a stream of minor pranks with them that I don't remember came my piece de resistance. When he came after me wondering where his glove was this time, I cheerfully showed him. Sitting opening up in a can that I'd filled with water then stuck in the freezer.
Meatservo, grab a little bit of reality. These were all SILLY HARMLESS PRANKS. They were all played in fun and in months later she did laugh about them. In fact Sally is quite a nice girl. Dim yes, but very personable and outgoing. She could also take a joke. I added the statements that she did not talk to us for a while, which is true, but only for a day or so. Oh there a lots I could tell. Sally just happened to be the brunt of some of my best and most prolific. The reason she took it so good is I can be known to pull the wool over someone's eyes from time to time. It is just a matter of time before you Meatservo, are my target. And if you are, it is a SILLY HARMLESS PRANK.
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Kowalski: Sir, we may be out of fuel.
Skipper: What makes you think that?
Kowalski: We've lost engine one, and engine two is no longer on fire.
In retrospect I'm really glad they didn't do that. Would have been a week later the first time it rained and I would have flipped on the wipers probably at 2 am on my way to a medevac...driving down the street...HONK...HONK...HONK! It was confusing enough when I pushed the brake to back up and I heard someone honking at me.
This thread is the best!! TTJN, you are the MAN dude!!! Permit me to steal that one day if you may!
Not aviation related, but when I worked at Starbucks I would get the newbies to take the 4 gallon pitcher and have them "empty" the hot water-after about 20 minutes of trying to get all the hot water out of the tap, we would usually stop them and tell them to get some real work done.
Or my personal fav-the espresso brownie. The grinds from the espresso machine were packed into tight pucks about an inch or so in diameter and dischared into a drawer that could be pulled out and dumped out. I would take some of the pucks that had not crumbled, put a dabble of whipped cream and some chocolate drizzle on top and serve to friends. Bon appetite!
@#$!, this forum is getting serious....nobody can take a damn joke anymore....
Johnny would probably be working at walmart by now, not talking to us here on Avcanada! 
And if you are, it is a SILLY HARMLESS PRANK.
