Franchise Opportunity

[ReturnoftheMike]

Are you a pilot group looking for “representation”?

There is a historic opportunity ahead for pilots and the boys from the past are looking to bring a renowned brand into the future. Armed with the experience of securing temporary gains for permanent concessions, this golf association disguised as a union is what your pilot group is looking for

We are proud to offer the services of a revamped ACPA under the rebrand of MikeACPA that will be the union franchise of the future despite it being stuck in the past


Proven Results

Under a mandate to minimize victories during forecasted labor shortages & to maximize losses during temporary crises, MikeACPA will work tirelessly for the company to ensure prosperity for shareholders


How may you ask?

Under a disciplined approach of the “Five Pillars”, MikeACPA has demonstrated incredible consistency in one spiral dive direction

Experience: With 20+ years of “union experience” and friendly company relations, MikeACPA looks to build relationships with the people who are paid to pay you less. Through a proven strategy of “asking nicely”, the team works hard until the company draws that line in the sand. Once that line is drawn, negotiations are complete. This time efficient strategy avoids dragging out negotiations and the stress involved in fighting for your members

Strategy: With an industry leading “capture the flying” philosophy, you can be assured you will end up with an industry worst contract

Relationships: With a “demonize your fellow pilot” mantra, all other pilot groups are looked down upon, even if you’re looking up at their working conditions

Global carriers: By believing that only management can compare themselves to US carriers, MikeACPA believes all airlines south of the border are non-comparables.
Disclaimer: all 3rd world countries with superior contracts are also non-comparables. 4th world countries that include tribes in the Amazon & Africa are possible comparators if they don’t have drinking water. Under this condition, the ethos “if you don’t like it here, go there” applies

Excuses: MikeACPA offers an endless supply of rationalization for poor results: “closed borders”, “ALPA just sends your money south of the border” or “we can’t do that or the flight attendants will ask for it” are just some of the infinite reasons why we can get you proven worst results


MikeACPA offers world leading:


Training: Following the philosophy “Train like you fight, fight like you train”, MikeACPA offers no training

Resources: dollar dollar bills y'all. By minimizing services for members, the philosophy “mo money, mo money, mo money” has secured a stockpile of cash. MikeACPA has managed to horde $25 million that is strictly for the optics of the books and serves no actual purpose for the membership other than bragging rights on an annual report

Culture: Under the culture of looking down to other pilot groups, MikeACPA now looks up to ULCCs for pay

Economic & Financial Analysis: Under the mindset “work till you die”, MikeACPA has proprietary rights to a 70 years old consultant as the lone capability of costing

Cost: following feedback from new hires who work at Walmart to supplement low pay, MikeACPA has adopted the mandate to “Roll Back” dues. We are proud to offer bottom of the barrel services at bottom of the barrel rates

Negotiating: a crack negotiating team of a max of 2 people with next to zero support with proven company friendly results. While every other single airline in North America secured wage subsidy and years of service for their pilots, MikeACPA follows the enshrined moto: “The Company wouldn’t go for it”

Propaganda: a highly trained team with decades of experience will build a propaganda campaign for your pilot group’s needs. Techniques include gas lighting rhetoric on date of hire for seniority list integration as well how the world’s largest pilot union with the highest paid airline pilots on the planet are going to steal your money

Social Media: while there is no formal social media, there is a highly select team of senior members that troll the membership via unofficial forums.


Interested?


Vote No to ALPA and Vote Yes to MikeACPA

One of our team members will reach out after the vote results as long as they haven’t already gone to management or are not busy negotiating against other pilot groups

Limited Time Offer:

***Vote No Today*** and MikeACPA will throw in a signed CD from the Coldplay hit “Yellow”

[NotDirty!]

Let me guess… that crack negotiating team is comprised entirely of people named Mike?

If we vote for MikeACPA, do we get to have a filibuster at every LMM with someone occupying all the mic time with the same misinformation presented slightly differently each time, and complaining any time anyone tries to respond?

But all this is an attempt to distract from the real question: who paid for the stickers???

[newcomer]

Man, you really crack me up

[khedrei]

Chat GTP is proving to be very useful!

[ReturnoftheMike]

Chat GTP is proving to be very useful!

You foolish fingerling,

This business plan masterpiece is the future of union success.

No artificial intelligence could outdo the wit of this astute ass

Move along peon

[Mr. North]

Top notch takedown!!

This Mike guy sounds like a real jerk!!

[mynameisDougnotKevin]

MikeACPA is the way to go. Alpa will just steal our seniority.

I asked the question about seniority mergers and alpa couldn't answer. The Delta pilots didn't even know what to say which I think is proof they don't know the Endeavor pilots are coming after their seniority.

I can't believe I had to figure this out for Delta pilots!!

[Crewbunk]

I can't believe I had to figure this out for Delta pilots!!

Im sure they respectfully nodded and smiled.
Thinking, (like we do), “ Who the @#$! is this lunatic?”

[flyingfool]

So no takers?



T minus 2 days

[JulietaRizas]

Wow, that's quite the pitch for MikeACPA. It's always interesting to see different perspectives and approaches, even if they come with a hint of sarcasm. But hey, we're all looking for the best fit for our pilot group, right?