Spouse Afraid of Flying?

[Phantomwray]

Does anyone have a spouse who is afraid of flying? My wife is scared of flying even on a big airliner, but she will do that. But for her, the mere thought of getting in a small Cessna is absolutely terrifying. I've shown her a video of a student and an instructor doing a simple circuit to try to show her what it looks like to fly in a small plane but this did nothing to ease her fears.

Any suggestions as to how to help her overcome her fear? She says she is willing to try, but she doesn't know how she'll ever do it.

[small penguin]

My ladyfriend was afraid of flying in a small airplane as well. To be honest I think any video I could have shown her would probably have made the situation worst. A small bump in the air or on the runway can look much worst on camera due to the added shake from the holder.

I'd say the first thing to do is find out what her fear is. No one (IMO) is ever afraid of flying per se. Maybe she's afraid of heights, or afraid she'll get airsick, or that the plane will crash, or something else. Find out what it is, and tackle that.

[joco]

Are we married to the same lady?....

4 years ago I convinced my wife to sit in the airplane and just taxi within YHM, all was agreed, I was to book a plane after our vacation, but 2 weeks later I was informed that she is pregnant!
Now she refuses to even entertain the idea. However my little boy (3 y old) loves airplanes and he will join me for flying for sure. I guess that my wife will jump on the band wagon just not to be left out of the fun.

We do quite a bit of flying, once a year to Europe, it involves 2 legs each way, she is no stranger to the airplanes, but not comfortable during the take-off as well as looking out the window.

Any ideas?

[niss]

Ether, a roll of duct tape and the bracket used for wing walking. Thats how I got my girl to try flying. Oddly enough thats also what I used to get her to have sex with me....figure that one out.... oh well

[xsbank]

Niss, sounds like you spelled it wrong, not Awesomeniss but Awesomemess.

[Expat]

My friend had such a wife. She was afraid of any airplane. They had to drive to Florida. Now he has a girl friend that loves flying...

[tellyourkidstogetarealjob]

In my family it was my father. The only way he could fly was if he got well lubricated in the airport bar before departure.

Although I've lost count of the number of flights I've taken, I've had three anxiety attacks myself.

The first was my second ever flight and I had a parachute strapped to my back for the first time, which might have had something to do with it. I think I jumped because I refused to go down the same way I came up!

The second was far worse, on a major scheduled flight. I really had to fight from asking to be let off the aircraft. This was around the time I was getting licenced as an AME and was starting to get to know aircraft and some pilots (no sarcasm intended). A little knowledge can be a bad thing. The last time it happened was relatively minor.

I would suggest starting her off on airline flights. Passengers want to see white haired old geezers flying the aircraft, not kids. Misery loves company, if 100 other people aren't screaming to get off, she's under peer pressure not to (and, obviously, the comfort factor of others being calm).

Don't try to take her up in a small aircraft. Especially if you're the pilot. Again, no sarcasm or insult intended. Unless, of course, she insists that's the only way she'll try it.

[Old fella]

Does anyone have a spouse who is afraid of flying? My wife is scared of flying even on a big airliner, but she will do that. But for her, the mere thought of getting in a small Cessna is absolutely terrifying. I've shown her a video of a student and an instructor doing a simple circuit to try to show her what it looks like to fly in a small plane but this did nothing to ease her fears.

Any suggestions as to how to help her overcome her fear? She says she is willing to try, but she doesn't know how she'll ever do it.

Guess the mile high club is/has been out of the question

[Highflyinpilot]

If you met her BEFORE you started flying, Its probably better to go on an airliner. If you met her AFTER you got your licence then I would say to bring her up yourself. I find that if the siad person sees you progress through your training they seem to be reluctant to go flying with you.

Anyways to really answer your question, just tell said person to get the hell in and keep quiet.
JK

[ottawa,kan]

My wife pretty much won't fly with me. Did once, but didn't enjoy it. So it's my own hobby/thing now. Nice to take a break from the spouse once in awhile, especially since we work together ( AUGH!!!). But my daughter likes it a lot, and is always game to go along. One friend's wife was okay in a low wing plane like a Piper, but couldn'd handle a high wing like a Cessna. Psychologically, seeing the wing was holding her up or something. Or maybe it looked more like a commercial jet??

[b1ngnx33]

I am going to get flamed SO bad for this.

But here goes.

Why are these people [ homosapiens ] scared of flying?

FEAR.

Its FEAR of death, FEAR of no control, FEAR of [ pick a noun, any noun ].

I, on the other hand, would love to fly. Not any flying, acrobatic/combat flying.

Pull 9G, 10G, or just plain old 2G.

Heh heh.

I make daredevils look like Peter Pans.

IF I had a license to fly, and a plane, and the money for gas, insurance, etc.

There is only person who can conquer YOUR fear.

It is you. NO ONE can do it for you. NO ONE can fix your fear.

If you can't face yourself, too f******G bad.

Your a coward. Hide behind your friends, culture, religion, money, power, etc.

But your still a coward.

The fear is still there.

[tellyourkidstogetarealjob]

Bingnx33,

Stick to aliens. You're more likable that way.

If you met her BEFORE you started flying, Its probably better to go on an airliner. If you met her AFTER you got your licence then I would say to bring her up yourself. I find that if the siad person sees you progress through your training they seem to be reluctant to go flying with you.

Anyways to really answer your question, just tell said person to get the hell in and keep quiet.
JK

A spouse may not feel comfortable telling her husband he doesn't inspire confidence. I was trying to be tactful, as pilots have such delicate egos. The reason for all the excess bravado.

If your wife presses on an imaginary brake pedal when you're driving a car or asks you to slow down she may not want to be in an aircraft with you. If you always call for help at the simplest of home repair tasks you may not be giving the best impression of your hand skills. That's why it would be better to get an older, more experienced pilot to take her out. Preferably, in a scheduled flight.

[Johnny#5]

I am going to get flamed SO bad for this.

But here goes.

Why are these people [ homosapiens ] scared of flying?

FEAR.

Its FEAR of death, FEAR of no control, FEAR of [ pick a noun, any noun ].

I, on the other hand, would love to fly. Not any flying, acrobatic/combat flying.

Pull 9G, 10G, or just plain old 2G.

Heh heh.

I make daredevils look like Peter Pans.

IF I had a license to fly, and a plane, and the money for gas, insurance, etc.

There is only person who can conquer YOUR fear.

It is you. NO ONE can do it for you. NO ONE can fix your fear.

If you can't face yourself, too f******G bad.

Your a coward. Hide behind your friends, culture, religion, money, power, etc.

But your still a coward.

The fear is still there.

hahaha...i'm scared of YOU!

[niss]

hahaha...i'm scared of YOU!

NO DISASSEMBLE! NO DISASSEMBLE JOHNNY #5!!!!

[JAHinYYC]

Any suggestions as to how to help her overcome her fear? She says she is willing to try, but she doesn't know how she'll ever do it.

My woman is afraid of heights and thus, by association, flying in light aircraft. She is fine with airline travel (especially in business class) but will tolerate light aircraft only if she percieves that there is some benefit. For example 2hrs in a Seneca II versus a drive of 6 hours.

When I got back into aviation a few years ago following a long absence, I paid for my instructor to take her up and over the city for a tour in the twin trainer at our school. My rationale was:

a) Two engines would make her feel safer (she didn't need to know about single engine service ceiling) and would be more like an "airline" aircraft;
b) With my instructor piloting and me not in the aircraft - she had a professional (and not someone she'd seen naked) at the controlls. Very reassuring;
c) It was "her" experience, and without me there she could formulate her reaction independant of mine.

I made sure she went first thing in the AM on a good weather day and it was fine for a first impression.

Since then she has made a half dozen two to three hour trips with me hither and yon.

She would never go anywher "just for fun", but as I say if it was a time saver she will put up with it.

[Phantomwray]

I got my licence before I met her so she knew that I was a pilot all along. We've been together for a few years but I've been in school for something unrelated to flying and thus had no time or money for flying. Now that I'm working, there is more time and money available so I'm itching to get back in a plane again.

I figure what I'll do (if she's still willing), is gradually introduce things to her. Start by just taking her to see the airplanes and sit in one parked at the school. Maybe the next time will be a taxi trip around the airport, and so on...

Her family is a five hour drive away so she has entertained the idea that flying up every so often will be better than sitting in a car for 10 hours for a quick weekend visit.

[Four1oh]

I like the 'A Team' way to deal with fear of flight. Use drugs, a well-placed sucker punch, or anything to get them on that plane!

[sheephunter]

Interesting topic. Mine was terrified of flying among a lot of other things. At first she'd get all clamy just sitting in the PA-32 on the ground not even running. Graduated past that to actually taxiing. Finally got her to fly. Picked real good days (early morning or just a bit before sunset) and only started with 15 minutes or so. Got her all the way to 45 minutes the last time.

And then just last month coming home from Alaksa to Toronto (commercial) great flight out of Anchorage cruising through the Wrangells, clear and calm and onto Chicago with no problem. From Chicago to Toronto we were delayed almost 3 hours, then coming into Toronto there was a storm. On final a big crash of lighting putting out the terminal and an over shoot. Oh yeah, we were holding for what seemed like an hour before the desent into Toronto only to overshoot then hold some more and then on to Ottawa. Refueled got back in the air and then on hold again with half the pattern back through the storm every time. It was a bit bumpy... no it was rough. She started to freak and continuously said she wasn't ever flying again. Anyway, 6 hours from Chicago to Toronto and I'm back to the start again.

[water wings]

mmmm..kay...
i don't have a spouse that is afraid of flying ( ) but way back when, had a student that was. He only decided to take up flying, not to get his license, but to overcome his fear.
I thought that was pretty cool.
bad thing is, though, our first flight involved a power loss and a precautionary (can i say that now?) landing.
he made monkey sounds after a bit.
true story

my point? maybe your ladies (they seem to be ladies at this point) need a lesson. basic aerodynamics/horizon/blue sky day lesson. an intro flight!
Nothing like learning how something works to make it uber cool. And the feeling of success will be beyond what they may have felt in a while. Power to the people. Make a big deal when they come down like "ohmygawd honey you are sooo cool, that was awesome.!!! i'm soo proud of you!!! etc etc...
i dunno about you, but i know some ladies actually preferred to fly with other females. Find a school that has a chicky. maybe this will help.
good luck, boys, on getting your sweet sides to fly the blue skies with you!!!

[sissyphus]

During my instructing years, I had many people come in just to overcome their fear of flying. Here's what I know.

Go early in the day or late in the afternoon. People are afraid of the bumps, avoid the bumps. People get sick from looking inside. Get them to look to the horizon. Keep pointing out things of interest outside. The idea of ramping up doesn't work. Getting the to "just sit" in the airplane on the ramp allows for a lot of quiet time to imagine all their worst fears. I'd had the run up already done before they arrive. No need to hear all the pops, bangs and power losses prior to going.

They are going to react to your energy. If you're excited, they'll be excited. Relax and have fun.

My problem is the opposite, the wife loves to fly and wants to get her licence. Took her for a ride in the jet. Now I can't get away with "working hard" all day, and being tired. Took her for a layover and now i can't get away with "suffering" away from home.

Ignorance is bliss my friends.

[Cadismack]

Sissyphus,

Insightful, thanks for the chuckle. Just starting my commercial career and I could just imagine the girlfriend (Soon to be fiancee) having the same reactions to tough days and tedious layovers.

The Girlfriends first flight ever was her trip out west for school. She was not too keen on the idea of flying in genernal let alone small planes, but after a few night flights for dinner and a scenic city tour she warmed up to the idea.

Actually going to be proposing to her in a week. Working as a skydive pilot and have bought her a tandem jump. Going to pop the question at altitude and meet her on the ground with the ring. Figure thats just going to solidify a love for flying or destroy it forever.

[niss]

And if she says no you can just push her out of the plane!

In all seriousness though, good luck & congrats!

[co-joe]

At one job I had the CP's sister in law was crazy terrified of flying but one day agreed to come on a one way trip in the 200 instead of taking the bus. So the medics gave her a dose of fentanyl and she quited right down...don't know if it helped her fear but she didn't seem worried about much after that.

Not sure if that helps.

What might work is see if either taking a discovery flight might help, of going up with the instructor. I had a student who's wife steadfastly refused to set foot anywhere near the 172 he'd just passd his PPL on but she agreed on one circuit when I (at the time the instructor) came with him. Evcentually she came around.

Other people who are affraid of not being in control respond very well to the briefing that goes with the discovery flight and then actually being in control. Of course some of them still puke all over the controls.

[Lost Lake]

I find 5 or 6 shots of Johnny Walker Black relaxes me before I fly. The passengers don't care because they're drinkin with me!!

[xsbank]

She saw you naked?

I like that other idea, drug her right up to the eyeballs.