Q. What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the
Stanley Cup Playoffs?
A. The Toronto Maple Leafs
Q. What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus
Christ'.
Q. How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal net.
Q. What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with the Stanley Cup?
A. A thief ?
Q. How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
A. Nobody knows and we may never find out.
Q. What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Leafs Jokes
Moderators: North Shore, sky's the limit, sepia, Sulako, lilfssister
Leafs Jokes
As much of a die hard Leafs fan I am...I had to chuckle at a few of these:
"FLY THE AIRPLANE"!
http://www.youtube.com/hazatude
http://www.youtube.com/hazatude
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av8tor_assrope
- Rank 6
- Posts: 439
- Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2004 6:34 pm
Re: Leafs Jokes
i'm disgusted by this thread...........
I want to die like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like his passengers...
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Team Firecracker
- Rank 1
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:42 pm
Re: Leafs Jokes
What does a Leafs fan do when he see's them win the cup?
-Restart the Xbox and try again.
-Restart the Xbox and try again.
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Just another canuck
- Rank 10
- Posts: 2083
- Joined: Wed May 21, 2008 6:21 am
- Location: The Lake.
Re: Leafs Jokes
The first several are good... the rest are just pretty much converted blonde jokes I think. Still good though. 
A page of jokes for all the people out there who hate the Toronto Maple Leafs
What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
Why don't the Leafs drink tea?
Because the Canadiens have all the cups.
What does Toronto have that Montreal doesn't?
Black and white photos of their past Stanley Cup.
One day, this guy was sitting in a bar having a drink. All of a sudden he's startled by three Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players cheering, "Fifteen! Fifteen!" He ignores them and continues to drink.
About 5 minutes later, the hockey players again cheer, "Fifteen! Fifteen!"
At this, the guy then walks over and asks them why they keep cheering, "Fifteen! Fifteen!"
The hockey players respond, "Well, we went to Walmart and bought this jigsaw puzzle, which we put together in 15 weeks! Considering that the side of the box said 3-5 years."
"He's great on the rink" a sportswriter said of a young Toronto Maple Leafs player in a interview with his coach.
"But's how's his scholastic work?"
"Why, he makes straight A's," replied the coach.
"Wonderful!" said the sportswriter.
"Yes," agreed the coach, "but his B's are a little crooked."
Q: What do you call a Toronto Maple Leafs player with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players braincells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why is it good to have a Toronto Maple Leafs player as a passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: How do you make a Toronto Maple Leafs player eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear.
Q: How can you tell if a Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player has been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if another Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.
Q: What did the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player think of the new computer?
A: He didn't like it because he couldn't get channel 9.
Q:Why do Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: Why do Toronto Maple Leafs players have TGIF on their skates?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: If a Toronto Maple Leafs player and a Ottawa Senators player are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The Ottawa Senators player. The Toronto Maple Leafs player has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a Toronto Maple Leafs player gets Alzheimers disease?
A: His IQ goes up!
Q: Why did the Toronto Maple Leafs player scale the glass partition?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What do you call 10 Toronto Maple Leafs players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What did the Leafs player say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag)
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
Q: What does a Leafs player say when you blow in his ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What is it called when a Toronto Maple Leafs player blows in another Leafs players ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a Leafs players head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What's a Toronto Maple Leafs players favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: What do you see when you look into a Toronto Maple Leafs players eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: Why do Leafs players drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
Q: How do you make a Maple Leafs player laugh on Monday morning?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: How did the Toronto Maple Leafs player break his leg raking leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree.
Q: Why did the Toronto Maple Leafs player try to steal a police car?
A: He saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What do you call a Toronto Maple Leafs players in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
A page of jokes for all the people out there who hate the Toronto Maple Leafs
What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
Why don't the Leafs drink tea?
Because the Canadiens have all the cups.
What does Toronto have that Montreal doesn't?
Black and white photos of their past Stanley Cup.
One day, this guy was sitting in a bar having a drink. All of a sudden he's startled by three Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players cheering, "Fifteen! Fifteen!" He ignores them and continues to drink.
About 5 minutes later, the hockey players again cheer, "Fifteen! Fifteen!"
At this, the guy then walks over and asks them why they keep cheering, "Fifteen! Fifteen!"
The hockey players respond, "Well, we went to Walmart and bought this jigsaw puzzle, which we put together in 15 weeks! Considering that the side of the box said 3-5 years."
"He's great on the rink" a sportswriter said of a young Toronto Maple Leafs player in a interview with his coach.
"But's how's his scholastic work?"
"Why, he makes straight A's," replied the coach.
"Wonderful!" said the sportswriter.
"Yes," agreed the coach, "but his B's are a little crooked."
Q: What do you call a Toronto Maple Leafs player with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players braincells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why is it good to have a Toronto Maple Leafs player as a passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: How do you make a Toronto Maple Leafs player eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear.
Q: How can you tell if a Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player has been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if another Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.
Q: What did the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player think of the new computer?
A: He didn't like it because he couldn't get channel 9.
Q:Why do Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: Why do Toronto Maple Leafs players have TGIF on their skates?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: If a Toronto Maple Leafs player and a Ottawa Senators player are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The Ottawa Senators player. The Toronto Maple Leafs player has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a Toronto Maple Leafs player gets Alzheimers disease?
A: His IQ goes up!
Q: Why did the Toronto Maple Leafs player scale the glass partition?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What do you call 10 Toronto Maple Leafs players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What did the Leafs player say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag)
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
Q: What does a Leafs player say when you blow in his ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What is it called when a Toronto Maple Leafs player blows in another Leafs players ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a Leafs players head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What's a Toronto Maple Leafs players favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: What do you see when you look into a Toronto Maple Leafs players eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: Why do Leafs players drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
Q: How do you make a Maple Leafs player laugh on Monday morning?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: How did the Toronto Maple Leafs player break his leg raking leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree.
Q: Why did the Toronto Maple Leafs player try to steal a police car?
A: He saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What do you call a Toronto Maple Leafs players in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Twenty years from now you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
Re: Leafs Jokes
Similarity between a Maple Leaf fan and a computer?
You have to punch the information into both of them.
The difference is, with a computer, you only have to punch the information in once.
You have to punch the information into both of them.
The difference is, with a computer, you only have to punch the information in once.
