practical jokes in flight

rightseatwonder · Post by **rightseatwonder** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 3:33 pm

Anybody ever pull any good practical jokes on captains or copilots ..or F/a's for that matter?

I had an empty leg in the Maldives and my copilot was tired and was "resting his eyes"...fell into a dead sleep. So i got the cabin attendant to hide in the cargo hold and i hid behind the bulk head and hit him on the shoulder with the rudder lock to wake him ....he descibed it as "one of those dreams where you are in class naked"...just cant figure out what is goin on. We were decending and then it hit him that hes in an airplane alone.

Funniest part was he didnt take control...he just started frantically looking around for somebody...ANYBODY!

meanspirited ...sure. Fun too. But he got me back......

Louis · Post by **Louis** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:03 pm

rightseatwonder, do tell...

I heard this one played to an F/A. Captain has some lipton chicken noodle soup in a thermos, pours some in a sick bag, calls for the F/A, asks for a spoon, and start eating....

Goodbye,

Louis

rightseatwonder · Post by **rightseatwonder** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:09 pm

i like the chicken soup gag (pun intended) that would be good.

As for the co-pilot getting me back......it wasnt in the a/c...at a party he got me drunk and shaved part of my head. Lacks creativity but effective none-the-less!

co-joe · Post by **co-joe** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:23 pm

I seem to remember a rampie in YSF who drank too much at a party and awoke the next morning sans one of his eyebrows.

You just can't hide that.

Duke Elegant's story about the peanut butter in the ginch trick was pretty good too...

CH124 Driver · Post by **CH124 Driver** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:26 pm

There's a good story about something similar to the chicken soup in the bag joke.

http://www.soupsandwich.net/soupsandwich.html

It's good for a laugh.

When I was at helicopter school, one of the guys at the multi school that actually instructed me in Moose Jaw was the king at quick practical jokes. One night we were drinking in my room and he just started putting his bottle caps under the sheets on my bed. Everyone else started to follow suit and when I finally crawled into my bed in a drunken stupor at the end of the night there had to be over 40 bottle caps in there.

Another one we played on a guy in Moose Jaw was with his log book. He was a bit high strung and we constantly messed with him. One day while he was flying, we took his log book and hid it. We took a blank book, put his name tags on the blank book, ripped out the first 10 pages and had the flight commander write a note saying that his entries were unsat and he had to start over again from the beginning. The guy lost it, he threw the book across the room and then just sat at his desk pouting. We let him stew for about an hour before we gave his book back to him.

hazatude · Post by **hazatude** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:32 pm

lol...the log book prank is just cruel

Capt · Post by **Capt** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:37 pm

I was dead heading a 172 with a cool student to YQL. We had another instructor in the back, he was sleeping. It was night so we shut off all interior lights, opened the window, put the aircraft in a steep desent and started screaming.
It was great, and he was awake for the rest of the ride home.

Jaques Strappe · Post by **Jaques Strappe** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:52 pm

I have done the soup gag. Vegetable works the best. You can also put some peanut butter on the heel of your shoe and have your partner complain about the smell of dogshit while the F/A brings in the coffee.

Just when she is sniffing to see if she can smell it, you reach down put some on your finger, lick it off and say yup...........A german Sheppard I think!

The absolute best ever however was pulled on me. I was going for my annual medical at Air Canada. They do blood work, the whole nine yards.
I was scheduled for first thing in the morning. The night before I was at my buddies place skiing. When I got home there was a message from the Air Canada medical dept (or so I thought) explaining that in addition to blood work it was now a requirement to provide a stool sample.

It was late and there was no way to verify this. I didn't suspect anything because this would be typical for Air Canada.

The next day I arrived with a Tim Hortons bag full of shit and proudly presented it to the nurse on my arrival. Well, here she thought this nice pilot was bringing her a muffin in the morning!

rightseatwonder · Post by **rightseatwonder** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 5:20 pm

thats nasty!

greenwich · Post by **greenwich** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 6:08 pm

This isn't a practical joke, but...

Every once in a while our Caravan guys get to pair-up for a trip (usually a hot-shot with heavy cargo) so the return leg is always empty...just the two pilots...no seats...empty Caravan.

One of the pilots goes to the rear of the Caravan and lies on his back. The pilot-flying then shoves yolk forward creating serious negative-g's...and the dude lying on his back is now pinned on his stomach on the roof.

Taking turns, the object of the game is to see which pilot can 'spiderman' his way to the front of the cabin...inverted in the roof!

G

rightseatwonder · Post by **rightseatwonder** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 6:24 pm

watch your oil pressures!! lol
Ive done that a lot in the dhc-6 and the lights come on sometimes...a little un-nerving

Siddley Hawker · Post by **Siddley Hawker** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 7:42 pm

Down East International was positioning a 737 from YT to HZ one night, no pax just the crew. The co-pilot was on his way to back for a whizz when he looked through the cabin door peep hole and saw the three stews putting on their baby-doll pyjamas. He ran back to the cockpit tearing off his clothes and yelling at the Captain to take his clothes off. The Captain thought he'd flipped but he told him the stews were on their way up front in their bras and panties. The girls arrived in the cockpit, yelling Surprise!! The two pilots were sitting there wearing only their hats, shoes and sunglasses.

The F-27 had a full face smoke mask. One night back when QB still operated the F-27 the two pilots took a uniform jacket, hung it on a hangar in the cockpit door then hung the smoke mask on the hangar for a head. They put the co-pilot's hat on top of it and the two red cockpit spots behind it for eyes. Then they called the stew up front. The poor girl walked in the cockpit, took one look and screamed and passed out cold.

Edo · Post by **Edo** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 8:50 pm

doing low level survey flights. When it came time to teach a new pilot the pipeline we had to sit right seat.

As you fly at 100-150 AGL the pilots scan is mostly outside the left window and glancing out the front looking out for terrain and towers. Once they were getting the hang of it, I would sit back and relax, put one hand under the control column and the other on the trim. The trick was to slowly, over 5 min or so roll the trim nose down a few notches while increasing back pressure so the new pilot didnt notice.... once you had the a/c out of trim wait until they glance down and let go of the controls!!

5x5 · Post by **5x5** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 10:03 pm

I dunno, but if you really did that Edo ...... then Yikes!

Personally I don't like the thought of pissing around that close to the ground. Way to easy for the guy who's surprised to react in a totally unexpected manner and you've got squat for a safety margin.

But maybe I'm just a chicken.

xsbank · Post by **xsbank** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 7:20 am

Once upon a time, in an airline far far away, the company was trying to do some cost-cutting. They replaced the nice china they'd been using with paper plates. The captain was annoyed about the decrease in the 'status' in his airline and during one dinner period, took out his Buck knife (I already told you it was a long time ago) and cut a hole in the plate. He then unzipped his pants and placed his unit through the hole. He rang for the flight attendant and when she arrived, there he was, knife and fork in hand and said "I know the company's trying to cut costs, but you can't expect me to eat this!"

flyinhigh · Post by **flyinhigh** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 7:57 am

xbank- nice, can just imagine the look on his face.

FLOATER · Post by **FLOATER** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 8:14 am

These two are not with a copilot but with passengers,one I knew,the other I didn't.
Flying a group of indian fishermen to their winter camp in a otter I could smell something burning.After looking around I found that one of the indians was smoking a joint.He wouldn't put it out so I decided to scare the hell out of him.At 3000 ft. i switched to my empty tank,engine died shortly after...all was quite as I looked around,couldn't find what i was looking for,so I yelled where in the f--k is my parachute as I cracked open the door.All was calm for the rest of the flight...

The next was again in the otter with a buddy who hated flying.Always gave me a hard time so I decided to fix the prick.Flying along on wheels with the ski pump in the plane,but not hooked up I blew a tank.Buddies eyes were as big as a plate.I yelled at him that my fuel pump quit,get pumping the handle that I was pointing at.As he pumped I switched tanks.For the next 20 minutes he pumped,as he slowed down,all i had to do was yell.Poor guy was played out by time we got home.Years later I told the truth.

hz2p · Post by **hz2p** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 10:00 am

Flip-flop radios are lots of fun, especially when you're going into someplace that has two frequencies, for north/south or east/west, and you know they're both being worked by the same guy, who hopefully has a good sense of humour.

Load them both into the flip-flop, and as you're transmitting, repeatedly press the flip-flop button to rapidly change frequencies back and forth.

If you can arrange a couple guys inbound to do it on a quiet evening, you can try convincing ATC his equipment is US ....

lawndart · Post by **lawndart** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 10:45 am

Ripped off from another site, but still good for a chuckle

A "Shorts" Story

An Eagle crew came up with a novel idea to play a trick on a new-hire flight attendant. In order to understand this story you need to know a few things about the Shorts 360:

1) It has two doors to the cockpit, one on each side, for the captain and the first officer.
2) There is ground escape hatch right above the FO's head.
3) The Shorts is slow and unpressurized so quite frequently crews will fly with the captains (quite large) window open.
4) There is room to hide a small person behind and underneath the FO's seat. The jumpseat is behind the captain's.
5) At any time the Flight Attendant can pick up the interphone and here what the pilots are saying (and also ATC).

On a rainy, icy, IMC evening flight from JFK to Providence, the crew decided to play a trick. The FO hid behind his seat and the captain called the FA. "Hey I need your help. First of all, please stay calm." "Why? What's Wrong?!?!"

"Please come up to the cockpit and on your way please look out the window and see if you see the First Officer anywhere."

"What? He's outside?" said the startled FA.

"Yes. I sent him out to do a routine ice inspection on the wings and he hasn't returned. It's been about five minutes and he's usually back by now. See if you can spot him. Maybe he's stuck somewhere."

Well of course she was unbelieving so she ran up to the cockpit and opened the captain's door. Peering over him she saw that the seat was empty and the handle for the escape hatch was turned a quarter turn.

"Is that safe?" she asked, pointing to the escape hatch. "Well he has to be able to get back in!" replied the captain.

Convinced now that the FO may actually be outside the plane she proceeded to go back to her seat while peering out the windows, drawing some strange looks from the passengers. Reaching her seat she got on the phone. Meanwhile the FO was back in his seat ready to imitate the company dispatcher on the radio. "Did you see him?" "No! He wasn't anywhere!" "OK well I guess I better call Dispatch and see what's up" (sounds of dispatch being rung up using the keypad on the mic).

FO: "Eagle calling Dispatch go ahead"

CA: "Dispatch this is Eagle 555 and we have a problem. I sent the FO out to do a routine ice check per special memo 42-1 and he hasn't returned in over 10 minutes. Any idea how I should proceed?"

FO: "Stand by"

The FO and Captain took off their headsets and discussed their plan!

FO: "Eagle 555 has your Flight Attendant had wing walking training?" (sound of gasp from the FA)

CA: "Ah no she's a new-hire, I doubt she's had that yet."

FO: "Stand by"

More laughter as they take off their headsets again.

FO: "Eagle 555 do you think she could keep the plane flying while you take a look?" (a startled "No WAY!" from the FA)

CA: "Ah no I don't think that'd work either"

FO: "Stand by"

One more conference on the final blow.

FO: "Eagle 555, we'll have a new FO ready for you in Providence, have to assume we lost one. In the meantime you better get the FA up there so she can learn how to land that thing while you handle the radios."

CA: "OK Dispatch, wilco. I'll get her up here. See ya"

FO: "Good Luck Captain" <click>

So the captain says over the interphone, "You heard that?" She replies very shakily, "Yeeeaaaah, I'm on my way up there..."

At this point the captain throws open his window (making a LOT of noise) and says, "Oh wait! Here he is! Come on up and see!" The FO hurriedly dons his coat and poors his entire water bottle over his hair. She makes it to the door and stares at him. "Sorry I took so long, I had to chip some ice off the tail!"

The best part of the story is that they never told the poor girl what happened. The author found out about this story for the first time while sitting in the crew lounge in Hartford, hearing the girl complaining that she didn't think she was cut out for this job, 'We almost lost our FO the other night!". You can imagine the rest! The author got the rest of the story from the captain who thought this up, who for obvious reasons wants to remain anonymous!

klimman123 · Post by **klimman123** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 12:18 pm

OK here's one. A fellow pilot needed a little pay back so I made up a fony letter from Transport's Investigation divison stating that they were looking into an incident that took place some months before and until the matter was cleared up his license would be suspended. I made it look and sound very offical and put it into a TC envelope that was already around. His boss helped out by calling him into the office and told the pilot that something just arrived in the company mail and that the pilot should read it. He took the bait and thought that his whole career was over. We let him stew for an hour and then told the truth. Best thing about it was everyone was in on it except him. Best prank ever.

4hrstovegas · Post by **4hrstovegas** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 1:06 pm

As a bored instructor, I've done the following to various students (maybe not original, but good to kick boredom):

1) told them to ask the CFI for a bucket of propwash to clean the plane;

2) had them do a walkaround of the simulator;

3) asked one of them to go plug in the windsock;

4) told one that they had to land the plane with their eyes closed to practice for the flight test

5) told one to try to slip $20 into their PTR before a flight test because this was the industry norm

Mean, but entertaining...

bigred · Post by **bigred** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 2:52 pm

I wondered how long it would take for someone to bring in McCools bunch of misfift rather than saying thier company name. Good one Siddley

bzhpilot · Post by **bzhpilot** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:13 pm

A F/A told me a story about the trick they were doing to new F/A .

The captain used to call them and to say they had a problem with one of the main landing gear. The pilot would ask the F/A to go to a certain row and jump in the aisle to try to have the gear come down. At the beginning they wouldn't jump too much but after checking a few times with the pilots saying that the gear was still stuck, the jumps would become more frantic.
Good laughs and probably strange or even scared looks from pax.

TTail · Post by **TTail** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:56 pm

4hrstovegas wrote:
1) told them to ask the CFI for a bucket of propwash to clean the plane;

We used to do this one back at the Club I instructed at. I thought we were the only ones!

We would send our new ramp guys/flight students to the schools next door to ask them for this stuff!

HavaJava · Post by **HavaJava** » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:45 am

I heard this one from an old crusty airline pilot.

I can't remember what type of aircraft it was, but it was one with a plexi-glass dome on the roof in the back of the cockpit for taking astro-compass readings. The flight-engineer/navigator would take readings out of this dome while standing on a small step.

On a night flight the Flight Engineer was taking a reading while a flight attendant was in the cockpit chatting with the pilots. The Captain beckoned her over and whispered to her that the F/E had to remain very very still while he performed the reading or it could throw off the plane's navigation and that it would be quite funny if she tried to distract him. With a grin on her face she proceeded to slowly unzip the F/E's zipper and, well, try to distract him during which time the F/E remained as still as he could.

After she left, the F/E came down and cracked up laughing since there was no need for him to stand still let alone even take a reading at that point.