Question for new dads

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Captain_Canuck
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Question for new dads

Post by Captain_Canuck »

Hey guys,

Im a new dad of a 2 month old and wanted to see how the rest of you managed to get some rest with a new born. Did you sleep in a separate room the night before a flight? Were you able to get enough rest sleeping with your partner and in some cases with the baby in the same room?

So far so good for me but she is starting to get very restless at nights so I wanted to pick the brains of some more seasoned verts than myself.

Cheers,

CC
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by North Shore »

Well, I'm getting past that stage a little, as my youngest is closing in on 2 years... I tried the 'sensitive caring dad, helping to get junior to the boob at 3 in the morning' for a few months, and then said fukit to myself...spare room for me, at least three nights a week - that way I get a decent night's sleep, and can function the next day.
Fatigue is a bad thing in the context of flying, so you owe it to yourself, your wife, child, pax and company to show up at work well-rested and ready to go..

It's not like you're going to be getting any for the next two years or so anyway - so you might as well sleep in peace! :lol:
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Spank-me
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by Spank-me »

I got more sleep at work then I ever did at home when my kids were babies... :shock: ..Do whatever you need to do, but most importantly, try and enjoy it cuz it goes by way too fast....I was usually good for a couple of restless nights in a row but I would definately have to allow myself to catch up before working (spent the night in the basement bedroom)...and if they had a really bad night, worst case scenario, thats what sick/family days are for.
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5400AirportRdSouth
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by 5400AirportRdSouth »

As the proud father of a one-month old baby girl, I know what you mean!

The wife and I split the night into two 6-hour shifts. Baby "sleeps" in the living room with the "on-call" parent and the other parent is "on reserve" in the bedroom.

That way we each are gauranteed 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep while in the bedroom and whatever sleep you can get on the couch while on-duty in the living room is bonus.

Helps that we are using the bottle to deliver mom's milk, otherwise, I couldn't help nearly as much.

Good luck!
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by Airtids »

Yup. Spare room/couch whatever. Anything but the flight deck. At 3am, the kid sin't looking for Poppa, believe me. And when on a layover, forget the bar, GET SOME SLEEP!!

The best way you can help right now is by being a good partner/husband.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by 3=47 »

ear plugs work great, when my alarm clock goes off i get an elbow in the ribs then get up!
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by teacher »

Yup, ear plugs and yes it's true, she ain't look'n for you.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by iflyforpie »

Ear plugs, and lots of them. Eventually I got to the point where I didn't need them. (The classic parental conversation: 'Did he really sleep through the night?' 'No, you did!!')

I did my fair share of the night shift though (and took 100% responsibility for my 2 year old when the next one came along). My youngest is four now and she still has trouble sometimes.

The thing is, for me anyways, I don't need uninterrupted sleep to function as long as the hours add up.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by young grasshopper »

The only thing tougher than one kid is two! Its tough as I know Mrs. Grasshopper has to work all day too (she own's her own business and therefore can't recieve EI), but if/when I have to work, I gotta get a decent sleep. Mrs. Grasshopper realizes that she can do her job relatively tired, but I cannot function unless I have a relatively undisturbed sleep. Hang in there. I think around 3-4 months they'll generally sleep for more than 8 or 9 hours straight...the key is realizing this, and going to bed earlier than your pre-child days. If you tend to do any overnights - sometimes you just need to say NO to going out with the boys, and catch up on your sleep! Good luck!
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by Rowdy »

My father offers you this advice.

Just sleep! If the wifey needs your help.. she'll wake your ass up!
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by ptc »

My wife and I have a 10 month old. From the start we decided that during the night before work (either AM or PM shifts) she would get up and deal with our daughter. Rational was I need to be rested for work as well as why have 2 people exhausted. On my days off I get up and help out if I can but more often then not the little one wants the magic boob :smt040
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by Bede »

Put your kid on a schedule. We did that with both of ours, and other than the first two nights, it worked really well. It's the same thing doctors do to infants in the NICU because it provides stability and predictability for the child. It also lets you have a life you can go out for dinner during your childs sleeping time (yes you bring the kids along). You can google on how to put your kid on the schedule. There's a some opposition to the method from the usual bleeding hearts.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by Captain_Canuck »

Great tips and thanks for the advice everyone

CC
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by boozy »

Great thread, this will have relevance to me oh around jan 21. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Heh heh :D
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by jump154 »

Bede wrote:Put your kid on a schedule. There's a some opposition to the method from the usual bleeding hearts.
+1

I had twins - and at the time was pro "let them make their own schedule" - well this lasted 2 nights (once they came hoem form the NICU) as it resulted in 1 or both of us up all the time, so as soon as one woke up, the other was woken up and fed. Soon settled down. Also managed to get them on the schedule to conincider with Star Trek reruns on TV at 3am.....

Also, mentioning the NICU, quickly discovered that they would not sleep in a quiet room, had to put a radio on. I assumed it was the continuous background noise they had been used to. Was cool, as we never had to turn the TV down when they were sleeping :)

We both ended up getting up when they woke, as the envy of dealing with 2 babies while the other parent slept was getting too much. but then, I have a desk job!

Still remember the scare we both had when they slept through - waking up fresh, looking at each other then running to check everything was OK!

Good luck...
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by iflyforpie »

Another piece of advice that might offend bleeding hearts, ditch the baby monitor ASAP for indoor use.

Once they are a few months old, you don't need to go to them for every little whimper. You also don't need to hear them cooing happily if they are content and you need sleep. They will know how to get your attention if they need it.


On a related note. I remember rocking my son back to sleep in the middle of the night when he was about 4 months old. I couldn't see his face, but he started getting heavier and heavier. I was just about to put him back in his crib and he starts going 'do do do DO DO do do do do' in the happiest baby voice you can imagine. :x

Sometimes you can't win for trying. Welcome to parenthood...
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by teacher »

Ambient noise is key to getting anything done while they're sleeping. We use a fan, helps give them a little more fresh air but the white noise blocks noise that you make.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by Brewguy »

Sleep in a spare room when you need to. When you're available to do so, help out more during the day so mommy can sleep and let her do the night shift. And despite the whole 'breast is best' bit (which I do agree with), even if mom is nursing, don't be afraid to supplement with formula for the late night feeding ... it does hold them down for longer.

Just rediscovering all of this myself. We have a toddler (coming up on 2), and a 1 week old. And my god, what a week its been. I forgot how hard it is with the very little ones.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by Hedley »

I have 4 kids. Youngest is 10, oldest is 17. What I learned over the decades is that there is more nonsense associated with child-rearing than any other activity that I can think of, with the possible exception of offshore boat racing.

Learn to wake up and then quickly fall asleep again.

With each doubling of age, a kid is twice as easy to live with. Things will get better.

Don't let the kid run the household. You're the parent, take control.

Every kid is different. One of my kids, if you looked sternly at her, she would burst into tears. Another one couldn't care less what you said or did or thought - you could wail on her rear end all day and she wouldn't care. Every kid needs to be treated differently. Be closed loop, not open loop.

You think having a baby is bad, wait until it's in day care or school and starts bringing home every disease going around. Day cares and schools are clearinghouses for diseases. When one kid is sick, guaranteed all the other kids bring it home and get their parents sick. Get used to it.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by Highflyinpilot »

Your not going to get to sleep for 6 months, enjoy.

been there done that and loved every minute of it.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by MAG1 »

We found a dvd called "Happiest Baby on the Block" amazing for getting our newborn calmed down and then asleep, then sleep for us. No monitor for us either. Mom did most of the work at night with the boobs and I made sure I did all I could to help her out and make her happy the rest of the time. Happy wife is a happy life! Enjoy.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by cyeg66 »

If I'm not mistaken w.r.t sleep deprivation, it's possible not to get a good night's sleep for a period of a year (let's say) and all it would take is one solid night of sleep and you're good. The effect of poor sleeping hours is cumulative but with one 8+ hr period of rest under your belt, it goes away. Of course, with 4 boys under the age of 5 (no twins), sleep is hard to come by for me most nights. However, as they're getting a little older, and daylight shorter, things are getting better. Unless there's a bug going blitzkrieg thru our household (like Barfapalooza a few months ago), sleep is coming in greater chunks. Thank goodness. I've only aged about 20 yrs in the last 5....
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by MUSKEG »

cyeg66. You NEED a TV. :)
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by . ._ »

Gentlemen, there is a remedy to this situation.

It's never too early or too late...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy :smt045

Note: if you scroll down, the picture they show is about half the size mine was. :shock:

I had a purple friggin softball there!

It was still worth it.
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Re: Question for new dads

Post by BTD »

I'll be joining the ranks in about 2 months. Keep the advice coming.

:D

BTD
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